The Winter Holidays are loaded with sensationalism; music, color, lights, gifts, food and nonstop commercials to buy this or that. With all this activity it can be difficult to remember that the holiday season is really only happening inside of us!! No matter what events are going on around us, our only experience of it is how we process it inside of ourselves. The power for how we mark this time of year (happy, sad, chaotic, peaceful etc.) is not up to Toys R Us, JC Penney or Martha Stewart. It’s not up to your mother, your friends, the local church, your Rabbi or your neighbors. It is only up to you. If you were to time travel to Christmas Day in any previous year and visit a church and you could hear the thoughts of those in attendance, you’d find that no two people were hearing or thinking the same exact thing, even though the minister was in the throes of a really moving sermon!
Our senses act as personal filters for everything going on around us. Our thoughts and beliefs tell us how we feel about what we are experiencing. For example someone could be ecstatic and profuse in their thanks to you for the gift you just gave them, but if you perceive a look in their eyes as rejection you won’t’ believe their gratitude and then you won’t’ feel good about the experience. It’s our power alone to filter what comes across our path. We get to choose what to think, and what to feel in every moment. No one can control us for they don’t live inside of us. No one is in our minds or our hearts or lives behind our eyes but us.
No matter what happens in your life this time of year you can choose to make peace with whatever happens. You do this by keeping yourself centered and present in the NOW moment and play it by ear. Also remember you are fully self-empowered. Bear in mind that plans are just that PLANS; not events taking place in the current moment and plans can and will be changed so remain open to this and flex with what does happen next. Be okay with what comes next and the right response will occur to your now open mind. This is how to maintain the feeling of peace inside, which you can choose no matter what is going on outside of you. Remember happiness is a choice so decide to choose it over and over and over again and your holiday season will be wonderful!
Here is a list of what I do when I feel my center shift and my spirits dip….
How To Establish and Maintain Your Power Center:
- Meet your needs yourself!! Yah, you heard me. If you want something a certain way go make it happen. Don’t expect others to know what you want or when you want it. Remember who lives behind your eyes and empower yourself to meet your needs. This way you won’t feel let down. If you do feel upset walk to a mirror and look at the only person capable of fixing it your way. Cool huh?
- If you do get knocked off center and get your feelings hurt or find yourself angry or worried you may need to give yourself some space and time. This will give you time to process what triggered you. Sometimes just writing down what happened and reminding yourself of what’s true can help. A big truth that can help is to remember nothing stays the same, “this too shall pass.”
- Also a good cry can clean the slate. Or get a pillow and whack it against your bed and shout out your anger. This can be a healthy outlet and relief for anger. Then step back and see where you might be mad at yourself. I have never found anger at another to be anything other than anger at myself; which at the core was usually by a choice I made.
- If it is a blue mood you have try an activity that cheers you up. I actually color in a coloring book from time to time. Yah, I know I am in my 50’s, so what? Ha! I also have a few songs that never fail to lift my mood. These are not holiday songs, that could make you feel worse.
- This last one I want to mention is one you could try first for it is super simple and highly effective. To stop the negative train of thought – take a look around were you are in that moment. You are looking around to find something to be truly grateful for. It can be on you or around you. Maybe you love your shoes that day or you are grateful the sky is sunny. Keep it simple. Make it a game and see how many things you can find to be grateful for in that moment and soon the upset will have dissolved like magic! That’s how you know it was an illusion in the first place by how quickly it can be eliminated.
So give these tips a try this holiday season if you find you need a boost, then let me know how they worked for you.
’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©