Personal Space and Your Car

I know some of you will think I am overstating where our personal space borders are when I tell you that it includes your car, but I saw a perfect example as I was doing my food shopping today.

I was driving from one store to the next and was stopped at a busy intersection waiting at a light when a movement caught my eye. Right in front of me was a big white Cadillac and stretched across their back seat was a hanging bar with at least 3 dozen white plastic hangers swaying from the movement of the car. They were all empty and there were two people in the front seat. This is not something you see every day but I have seen this before. I had a neighbor once who was a traveling sales woman for a fabric company and she did this as well. She said it beat ironing and unpacking every day and since she had to dress professionally it was the best way for her. 11-2012 Sedona Election Trip (26)

Do you see where I am going with this? Here was a business woman who for all intents and purposes had her office and closet in her car. I don’t’ know about the people I saw today, perhaps they just took everything to the dry cleaners and were on their way to pick it up and didn’t want it to wrinkle on drive home. Most likely they store hanging clothes in their back seat as part of their life style or work.

When I was a shop-at-home Design Consultant I too worked from my car. My entire back seat and trunk space was filled with plastic totes which held fabric samples hard bound with handles for easy carrying. I had more in my garage as well for our fabric sales shifted month to month and I couldn’t carry every fabric we sold in my car. So my office was partly in my car and partly in my garage. I found it really important to keep my car neat so I got the plastic bins and this kept the fabric books from moving when I drove.

The couple I saw today was doing something I never could, for the swaying hangers would drive me nuts! But, that is their business to decide. Claiming the various personal spaces of your life is what self empowerment is all about. They not only have the right to do this with their car space but it is necessary for them to fulfill their unique purpose.

Now, sometimes what we want and choose to do in our Personal Spaces affects others in what I refer to as Shared Space. Their moving hangers got my attention but it wasn’t a danger to my driving so no problem. But say they had something reflective swaying in the back, then it would adversely affect others in “shared space” and as you know I encourage you to always do what is most loving for yourself while looking at the big picture to be sure you don’t adversely affect others. Chances are if you are being true to yourself you are not harming another but it is important to be aware. If they had something reflective swaying in the back it would also hurt their driving and probably cause the police to make them remove it.

Perhaps you do something out of the ordinary with your car space, if so please leave a comment I’d love to hear how you use your car space.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Do You Have a Personal Private Spot?

We all need personal time to ourselves, but with our busy lives and constant activity via the internet it can be difficult to find this time and space. This is why I ask all of my clients to create for themselves somewhere in their home a personal private spot. This is a place in the home that you can call your own. No one else sits here or disturbs the possessions you keep here. Having this private space anchors us so that our energy is strong and stable. It is our “home base,” the place we return to at the end of the day or even during the day to collect our thoughts, to refresh and to center ourselves. Vision Practice Chair

It is our birthright to take up space our way. We are given our own Personal Space real-estate at the moment of conception. That spark of life from the Divine, our Soul Space, ignited the human life that was developing in the womb. This Soul and Body Space energy grew as we developed and experienced life. The personal private spot acts as a powerful root that keeps us grounded and allows us the time and space we need to reconnect with our true essence. Our energy is enhanced when we create this space by filling it with the things that give us comfort and joy.

You especially need to create and claim a personal power spot for yourself if you live with others. Those you live with can do this as well and as you respect each other’s private spaces and private time spent there, you will find your relationships improve. Taking up Personal Space consciously is akin to declaring ownership for your life. Before you think these steps sound like work, remember if you are not taking responsibility for your life then someone else is, and that someone else will have power over you.

Creating a space that you can call your very own, that no one will disturb without your permission is a vital step to reducing the stress in your life. It will also energize you and enhance your personal power. It’s the step that will allow you to expand and take up space in the world as the unique, distinctive individual that you are. You might think this message is only needed for young adults who are just beginning to express themselves in the adult world, but in fact most adults have lost much of their Personal Space over the years due to education, training, and social pressure. We are taught to fit-in, get along, cooperate and compromise until there is nothing left of the unique individual that we are at our core. Rarely are we encouraged in school, at work or in our families to “stand up and be different!”

This step of establishing your private power spot is so crucial to the Personal Space Journey that it is the #1 Energy Check I use for my Home-Space Energy Review.

Personal Private Spots are as diverse are we are, and no matter your living conditions I can help you create one for yourself. Please write and tell me about your space and how you make it uniquely yours. If you need ideas or support let me know.

I would love to hear about the places you have created for yourself.

’till next time,
Ginger – Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

 

Office Space

I write about Personal Space and my main focus is all about our Home Space. My programs show demonstrate how to create a home environment that really serves and supports. Doing this will enhance all other areas of our lives and make us more self empowered. Today I want to talk about one of our “satellite” home spaces – your office/desk space. This is the next most important area to maintain just the way that serves you best because not only do most of us spend the
majority of our time at our desks but the energy that emanates out from our work will affect every aspect of our lives. Red Stapler

Lately I have been doing a fair amount of temporary contract work as one of my income streams. I have always enjoyed being an office support temp because I get to visit new companies and get to know some really interesting people. I must say that I have never seen two identical front office receptionist desk set ups and this surprises me. The work is pretty standard, greet customers/clients, answer and transfer calls, receive and deliver mail etc. Same work at every company I visit but oh my gosh do I find some interesting Office Space set ups.

Some are very clean and highly organized with everything color coded. Others are  neat “looking” until you open a cabinet or desk drawer. A few have absolutely no supplies handy which must make doing the job impossible as it is almost that way for me when I visit. But no matter what I find I can always feel the energy of the person I am replacing and I respect their space and their right to work in whatever kind of environment they desire. They hold the job I am filling in for so they must serve their co-workers and company to their satisfaction. There is no one-right-way to do things, there is only the right-for-us way. Which is why I have created a personal space list of what I need to carry with me as I enter a job site such as; I am short so I need a chair pillow and a foot stool, I have favorite snack food handy in case I can’t get lunch etc. I must admit visiting a new location all the time to do my work has really clarified for me what my needs are. Like a fish out of water we all attempt to make our immediate environment friendly –  that is to say we adjust it as necessary to serve our most pressing needs in the moment.

I have different needs than the receptionist I am replacing. For one thing I am not as familiar with the people or the various machines I am called upon to use. Familiarity makes us feel more at home and comfortable which builds self-confidence. So I will bring a few items with me to give me that feeling of being in control… a particular notebook and pen as well as my favorite water and coffee mugs. It’s amazing to me how these little details make all the difference to my visiting work day. Once I was called into a job on an emergency and didn’t have time to gather my Personal Space comfort accouterments and I felt off kilter the whole time I was working.

What items make your Office Space work best for you? Do you have little nick-knacks or favorite items that make your day flow more smoothly? It’s important to be comfortable and self-empowered at all times so I highly recommend you take up your Office Space your way.

PS – this is my daughters red stapler which reminds her of a favorite movie “Office Space” where the character Milton had a red stapler that was very important to him in his Office Space. Just looking at this makes her laugh (me too.)

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

The Colbert Bump

If you watch The Colbert Report show on Comedy Central you have most likely seen him do his “Colbert Bump” for some of his guests. This is his stamp of approval which is of course his “energetic seal” which means he is applying his Energy Space and influence to empower another. Being who he is in the public eye (his brand) his “Bump” can either help or hinder the product he is giving it to.

What Do You Stand For?

With Stephen Colbert you can see how standing for something publically can influence the sale of items and spread influence. The funny thing is he has such a strong and public viewpoint and is so well known that giving his energy to an item through his “Bump” can also cause people of the opposite view to avoid following that person or purchasing that item. He takes a strong stand on many topics. He often does this tongue-in-cheek but we all know he is liberal in his viewpoints and is using his TV show to poke fun at the conservative view points. He does this in a harmless manner and is so likeable that even his “enemies” don’t get upset. He not only voices his opinion he will let the opposite opinion have a voice on his show as well. This is not only fair minded, it is also creating good Karma for then his view will remain open for consideration to his opponents as well. Stephen follows the Golden Rule (which is part of my Shared Space Code of Conduct)…“do unto others as you would have them do unto you…”

Taking a stand for something you value is important, necessary and challenging. We need to do this in order to give energy to the unique work we are here to complete, yet we must also remain open minded and know that all others have the right to express their view as well.

So take a stand for what you believe in. Remain open minded and fair minded to the good opinion of others and never ever publically degage another or your energy will be affected diversely.

What Kind of Karma Do You Want?

This sharing of our energy by endorsing another can appear in a variety of ways. It can be personal and private- where you continue to purchase an item because you like it or you can go public and tell your friends and family about it and even go viral with it if you post your positive opinion on social media.

“What goes around comes around!” Karma phrase

The trick about sharing our energy is that energy doesn’t die; it has an unlimited “shelf-life” and what you send out acts like a boomerang and bounces back to you.

Giving our “energetic seal of approval” can boost or drain your energy depending upon how you communicate your opinion. If you send out messages of love and support then the energy of loving and support will return to you. But if you send out damaging messages, especially in the form of slander and manipulations like a bully would use BEWARE because this energy will also find its way back to you! This is not to say you cannot speak ill of someone or some situation but you must ask yourself if you are just complaining and causing trouble or are actually trying to solve a problem.

Don’t be the problem, instead be the solution while you give your energetic seal of approval to the things you value.

‘till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Responsible Living

It seems everywhere I turn I find something about Personal Space going on. Today I was just shopping for a book in Amazon and saw this link, iPhone Rebate

I wish I had seen it months ago when I got a new phone. This type of activity may not seem like a “personal space” topic but let me explain. It is all about Personal Responsibility or responsible living in the Shared Space we all inhabit. I know you only have ONE old phone so no big deal if you toss it in the trash right? Well, maybe….if you were the only one with a used phone to discard. But you see we have to think sometimes in plural, not just in singular fashion. In other words look at the BIG picture = Macro versus the small picture = micro. Always keep your personal integrity in tact…this is a must; which means to do the “most loving thing for YOU” and it will end up being the most loving thing for others as well.

So does recycling your old phone to Amazon for a gift card benefit you? You bet!! Will it benefit me? You bet! I love a clean Earth and it will benefit all the plants and animals that support our life here as well. It’s a Win-Win-Win!! I also understand that these recycled items can sometimes be used to help third world countries get updated materials they normally couldn’t have afforded.

As Earl Nightingale said “Any person who contributes to prosperity must prosper in return.” Therefore when we help the planet by recycling we become more prosperous. When we help third world countries by recycling we prosper, and when we use a service like Amazon we see the prosperity first hand in the rebated money and Amazon also prospers by holding this campaign. There is no limit to the energy boost that all who work together for mutual prosperity can receive.

Responsible living is literally the Golden Rule in action…”doing unto others as you would have done unto you” and I would add that what we do to/for other we also do to/for ourselves!

So if you have the new iPhone bug or if you just happen to be in the market for a new phone please consider the various programs in place either at Amazon or your phone company or even Goodwill and recycle your old phone (once you take off all your valuable materials that is J )

Oh, if your phone is not an iPhone no worries, Amazon also have a program for other smart phones.  Pretty smart!!

“till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

Don’t Let Your Guests Invade Your Space

When it comes to entertaining friends, family or others in your home it is important to keep some space “off limits” to your guests. This important step enables you to keep your home as a place of private refuge. If you entertain often in your home and want to show off your beautifully decorated rooms, just be sure to keep some areas and items private. It’s fairly easy to do; just keep doors closed and if necessary locked as well. Hide things in a closet you don’t want others to see. Your home is not their business. This is your private home and you have every right to close off part of it for just yourself and those who live there with you. In this manner you empower yourself with respect.We all need space where we don’t have to put on a “good show” and that is what our homes are for. So keep that in mind when having people over; protect your private space and belongings. Theme Party

Tips for entertaining:

  • Center the food and entertainment in the rooms you are willing to share with the “world”
  • Most people who visit or attend your party will hover in the kitchen, so this is a key room to have read-for-company
  • Create serving stations, a bar area and seating sections
  • Use colorful flower arrangements, candles, place mats and colorful dishes to designate the party boundaries
  • Distraction is the best tool I know for keeping guests captivated so they won’t need to see “the rest of your house” but if for some reason someone really presses the issue and you just don’t want to show your private rooms make up a story about how they are being remodeled and you’ll show them later. Then reconsider if this person is someone you want in your home for future parties.
  • Sometimes we feel we must entertain in our home such as to boost our career or keep the in-laws happy. I think this is a mistake and a time to employ your personal power and creativity. Instead host a party at a favorite restaurant, resort, or park.
  • Theme driven parties will also keep guests in the designated space. The decorations help set up the “party boundaries” and make the rest of the house ‘off limits”
  • Pool party theme, Hawaiian theme, and Picnic or Al Fresco dining will keep your guests outdoors
  • Cookie Decorating or Cookie Sharing Holiday Party keeps them in the kitchen and dining room
  • Use movies or TV shows playing low in the family room to draw people there, especially if they came to watch the game.
  • Have your outdoor section set up for seating and drinks in case the party moves outdoors
  • Use music outdoors as well if it won’t bother the neighbors

The important point to remember is that this is YOUR home and no one has the right to force themselves in if you don’t want them there. Trust me, do this for yourself and your personal power will bloom!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Shared Space

When we are out in public our Personal Space goes with us and it engages others. This combined area of Personal Space interaction is what I call Shared Space. We actually live most of our daily life in Shared Space which is why it is crucial that we create a supportive environment in our private Home Space so we can remain anchored as we engage the world.

The trick to managing yourself in the world of Shared Space is to remember what your kindergarten teacher taught you all those years ago…”take turns and share!” There is a behavior change required while in the Shared Space environment. When by yourself you can sing as you drive and no one will care, you can cook using smelly cheese, and no one will complain, and you can tap your pencil all you want in your private office, and no one will be annoyed. But in Shared Space you need to curtail some of your natural desires and tendencies all while remaining empowered. Sounds like a magic trick doesn’t it? Kind of impossible, you say. How can I be powerful if I am compromising and bending to the will of others? Copy of iphone pics 5 119

It’s simple! The answer to this is the whole point of what Personal Space Coaching is all about. You see, it’s ultimately you yourself who will be your “coach” in this self-empowerment journey. Once you discover the energy boosting tips and tricks I have to show you, and implement the ones that make sense to you, you will find yourself so anchored and so centered in your true self that your personal power will remain in full strength no matter what environment you find yourself in. You will be like a deeply rooted willow tree; strong, and tall, yet able to bend with the wind and not snap in two.

A key ingredient to getting along well with others is my Shared Space Guideline.
To thine own self be true
while
Doing unto others as you would have them do unto you

I am sure you can tell where the Shared Space Guideline comes from; Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” and The Golden Rule. You might think this is a little simplistic but there is a reason for that. It is simple but powerful; easy to remember and apply as you engage the world. However sometimes I still I get caught up in the human drama going on around me and when this happens this is what I do to return to center and find my balance…

1. Stop and Pause – take a break from what is going on
2. Apply the Shared Space Guideline to the situation and ask these questions:
 Am I being true to myself and what I really need?
 Am I staying in my business or am I “minding” someone else’s business?
 Am I invading another’s space and stepping on anyone’s toes?
 Have my rights been violated?
 Is there a way for this to be a “Win-Win” for each of us?
 Ask “What would it take” …(fill in the blank with your desired outcome)
 Then listen to your inner wisdom and take the inspired action you receive

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and how it works for you. Leave me a comment.
“till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

True Personal Power

Today I’ll conclude my Starbucks observations by reviewing the behavior of everyone in the room, including the “silent” party; the staff at Starbucks.

If this were a full service restaurant you can bet that the staff would have been in charge of the table placement, and if a problem such as this one occurred it would have been handled by management. The lady by the window would have felt she had an intermediary to ask help from if she wanted to. Or the staff would have been monitoring the room and taking care of the guests. Copy of My Old Starbucks (12)

However Starbucks is more of a self-serve establishment. They make your beverage, keep the place clean and will arrange the furniture each evening back to their default design plan but they don’t really get involved with the guests in the room; although if asked they will be happy to help. Even so, a self-empowered employee who valued their work might take it upon themselves to monitor the room, and step forward and resolved this situation. Since this rarely happens it is up to each person to maintain their space the way they need it to be.

If the lady by the window had felt fully empowered I believe she would have spoken up, asked for help from the staff at Starbucks. If she was self-empowered but didn’t want to deal with the hassle this caused, she might choose from a place of power to get on with her day and leave. Since she did leave I have no idea if it was a powerful choice or a victim choice. Her posture had the look of being imposed upon so I suspect she felt dis-empowered. Only she will ever know for sure.

If the two ladies at the table had felt fully empowered they would have looked around the room first then made their table choice more comfortable for all involved by moving the table or choosing the other two chairs (another couple came in later and did just that.)
You might say but they were powerful, they moved in on that window lady and didn’t budge. Nope. That’s not power. True power is polite, open, expansive and loving. Their decision to ignore the discomfort of the window lady, consciously or unconsciously was a selfish choice which is not empowered. Selfishness actually comes from feeling inferior and is similar to bully behavior which also comes from feeling inadequate. Neither of which are empowered even if they appear to be on the surface.

Well, I hope my Starbucks Personal Space observation has whetted your appetite to notice more of what goes on around you in your daily life and thereby become more empowered. Explore this website further for tips and tricks I have learned that will enhance the energy of your total Personal Space expression; your home, your soul, your body and your life.
Let me know what you think…

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Do You Live on Auto-Pilot?

Let’s continue the topic of my last two blogs and today let’s look at the actions of the two women who sat at the large square table in the middle of the room.

From what I shared the original post “Coffee Space Invaded,” I bet most of you thought what they did was “rude” behavior; I know I did at first. What else could possibly have been going on for them that they were oblivious to the woman by the window? I say oblivious because I saw nothing in their attitude that suggested deliberately rude behavior. They were simply clueless to the options they could have taken to give the woman by the window space. Nonverbal communication can tell us more than verbal and I saw no smug expressions, no postures of superiority, and no deliberate stares to make the lady by the window uncomfortable. All I saw was a self-contained cocoon of oblivion to the rest of the room.

All of this suggests they came to the table already deeply involved in the topic of conversation they were having.
• Perhaps it was a life or death topic like an illness.
• Maybe they hadn’t seen each other is years and couldn’t wait to catch up.
• One of the women could have been hard of hearing in one ear so they had to sit in the position they choose to communicate.
• Perhaps they were not Americans and to sit that close was not an issue in their native culture.
Living on Auto-Pilot

The point I want to make today is that we just don’t know! But that doesn’t stop us from believing and acting as if we do know. We will believe what we want and not even (usually) question our thoughts. What we choose to believe about what we encounter happening around us can either make us happy or make us sad or not even cause a blip on our personal radar (aka be as oblivious as the two women) it’s our choice completely. I wonder if we are making that choice consciously and powerfully or are we on auto-pilot; quick to judge and cast blame instead of offering help and solutions?
For my part I was thrilled to be seeing my favorite subject in action. I love observing how people react in public. This was an example of what happens in what I call “Shared Space.” Personal Space still exists within Shared Space but the dynamics are different. When we are in Shared Space we are called upon to use the personal power we have amassed. If our personal power is insufficient to deal with the events of life, we will feel it as pain of some kind.

As an act of self-loving kindness, the next time you feel pain from an event you experienced, stop when you can take the time and review it. By doing this you will gain insight and clarity and quite possibly boost your own personal empowerment as a result. Consciousness is power.
Next time I’ll conclude my Eye Witness review by looking at the behavior of the Starbucks staff.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Her Choice – Her Business

In my last blog “Coffee Space Invaded” I wrote about a personal space event at my local Starbucks.
Let’s look at the woman by the window again. What other options could she have chosen besides saying nothing and then leaving the building? Well, the possibilities are simply unlimited…

• She could have started a conversation with the two women. I’ve seen this often especially with the very social personality types or sales people.
• She could have stood up and moved her chair so she faced the window which would have forced the square table to be moved away.
• She could have asked the two women to sit on the other two chairs away from her.
• She could have started a coughing fit to annoy them.
• She could have directly stated that they move further back.
New Bell Starbucks (1)
The possibilities are unlimited and each one takes a different inner power to enact; boldness, confidence, self-preservation, anger, an open awareness of the room and herself in it, etc. But none of those things happened and I can only guess at what was going on for this woman. What I saw might have been a shy easily intimidated and inwardly angry woman resulting in the the no comment, and the early leaving. Or perhaps she didn’t leave early and it only seemed that way to me.

What is my point? My point is this, it’s her business. It’s her personal space and she gets to do what she wants with it, or at least what she can do to the best of her ability at the time. Only the woman by the window knows for sure how this event affected her; did it make her uncomfortable, and uneasy or was she so consumed with her own world that she didn’t give it a notice? I will never know because I didn’t ask her. I only watched this play out and then drew my own conclusions which are again my business. Perhaps there were others in the room that also watched and had their own thoughts about what took place.

Bottom line; there is no right or wrong. There is only what happened and how it affected you personally and what if anything you would like to change about your response to it if it happens again.

Being aware of events around you means you have an opportunity for a more powerful life. Being unaware means you miss out on possible opportunities to learn, grow and engage the world. No matter which you choose, it’s your right in each and every moment. It is my hope for all of us that we become more open and aware about how powerful our choices are to both ourselves and to the people we encounter in our day.
Next time we’ll look at the two women at the square table.

’till then,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©