Personal Space and Your Car

I know some of you will think I am overstating where our personal space borders are when I tell you that it includes your car, but I saw a perfect example as I was doing my food shopping today.

I was driving from one store to the next and was stopped at a busy intersection waiting at a light when a movement caught my eye. Right in front of me was a big white Cadillac and stretched across their back seat was a hanging bar with at least 3 dozen white plastic hangers swaying from the movement of the car. They were all empty and there were two people in the front seat. This is not something you see every day but I have seen this before. I had a neighbor once who was a traveling sales woman for a fabric company and she did this as well. She said it beat ironing and unpacking every day and since she had to dress professionally it was the best way for her. 11-2012 Sedona Election Trip (26)

Do you see where I am going with this? Here was a business woman who for all intents and purposes had her office and closet in her car. I don’t’ know about the people I saw today, perhaps they just took everything to the dry cleaners and were on their way to pick it up and didn’t want it to wrinkle on drive home. Most likely they store hanging clothes in their back seat as part of their life style or work.

When I was a shop-at-home Design Consultant I too worked from my car. My entire back seat and trunk space was filled with plastic totes which held fabric samples hard bound with handles for easy carrying. I had more in my garage as well for our fabric sales shifted month to month and I couldn’t carry every fabric we sold in my car. So my office was partly in my car and partly in my garage. I found it really important to keep my car neat so I got the plastic bins and this kept the fabric books from moving when I drove.

The couple I saw today was doing something I never could, for the swaying hangers would drive me nuts! But, that is their business to decide. Claiming the various personal spaces of your life is what self empowerment is all about. They not only have the right to do this with their car space but it is necessary for them to fulfill their unique purpose.

Now, sometimes what we want and choose to do in our Personal Spaces affects others in what I refer to as Shared Space. Their moving hangers got my attention but it wasn’t a danger to my driving so no problem. But say they had something reflective swaying in the back, then it would adversely affect others in “shared space” and as you know I encourage you to always do what is most loving for yourself while looking at the big picture to be sure you don’t adversely affect others. Chances are if you are being true to yourself you are not harming another but it is important to be aware. If they had something reflective swaying in the back it would also hurt their driving and probably cause the police to make them remove it.

Perhaps you do something out of the ordinary with your car space, if so please leave a comment I’d love to hear how you use your car space.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Do You Dare Express Your Unique Style?

I love watching people, and the longer I do the more I come to realize that we truly are one of a kind. Some days it’s difficult to notice the unique qualities each person is capable of and on other days it hits you in the face and it almost too much of a shock to absorb. That is what happened to me last week at my local Sprouts. Here I was doing my weekly marketing when I turned the corner and almost ran over this man’s dog. He was so still I didn’t notice him, then the next thing I saw was his owner’s shoes, and as I looked up I got a marvelous shock. Here was a brave man in my midst! He not only brought his dog into the store but was wearing bright red and green seekers, a sombrero hat and a colorful shirt as well. Unique Dressed Man

I can only assume he had a special need for the dog as I don’t think they are allowed in the store under normal circumstances, but then nothing about this man was normal or usual. I admit I didn’t have the courage to speak to him and in hindsight I wish I could have but no, on this day I high-tailed it out of that section and gave myself a wide berth. Why? Well I asked myself this and to be honest my first thought was that this man was unstable but as I explored my reaction further I have to admit that it was more that his uniqueness was a bit more than I could handle. I feel badly about that and in the future I will check my judgment at the door because he is not the only “odd” dresser in the store. I too tend to dress strangely (to others eyes I am sure) because I happen to wear a visor hat almost all the time I am outside, and even while in the store. I don’t like the sun in my eyes and a full hat will flatten my hair. I wear it inside because if a store is warm I tend to perspire so I will put it on so as not to drip about as I do my shopping. Odd? Yep, that’s me. Perhaps we are all odd … after all there are no two of us alike. Sometimes it works and sometimes it just scares people.

This man made my day. I admire his courage. His color coordination was excellent and so cheerful. There are others that dress “oddly” to our way of thinking and they make it really work for them…remember Michael Jackson and his one gloved hand -or how about Pharrell Williams and his Smokey the Bear hat? Sure actors, musicians and artists are given permission by society to dress and even act oddly so why shouldn’t the rest of us have this same permission? I think we have to give it to ourselves and when we encounter brave dressed men like I did in my local store it paves the way for the rest of us to be exactly who we are “out loud!”

Go forth and be brave in your uniqueness and if I see you I will be sure to cheer you on!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©


Habits Get a Bad Rap

I think habits get a bad rap. Quite often when someone is mentioning a habit they are talking about something “bad” they want to change. I try not to refer to anything as “bad” anymore. When I remember to re-frame my thinking I will look at “bad” as an excellent teacher. For instance I will objectively watch myself and simply notice what I seem to do all-the-time that I want to change. I will then do a kind of self-interview and ask…

– why do I do this habit?
-how does it serve me?
-what prompts me to do it? -like an association from someone or other activity
– and do I have a belief that is the driving force behind it?

– next I will ask what would be the opposite of this habit and do I want to find a way to have that in my life instead.

Painting HabitMy most recent experience of changing or shifting habits as I prefer to think of it, was watching less TV in the hope I would get back to doing my watercolor painting which I actually love more. I am using a tip I got from Martha Beck called “Ridiculously Easy Steps.” It works like this. Instead of berating myself for doing the “bad” habit item I simply notice it, allow and accept that this is the best I can do right now AND in the next moment I can do better. So I begin to add my new better step in small “Ridiculously Easy” measures. Instead of attempting to watch less TV I simply add in the time I want to paint. I have discovered it works best at the end of my day. If I am tired I will pull out one of my art books and read it for 15 minutes or I will literally just sit in my art studio for 5-10 minutes. I created a whole list of baby steps and commit myself to doing one EVERY day. That’s the key to changing or building on a new habit. I think it’s best to let go of the idea of changing yourself and just think of it as shifting or adding in something you want more. Many of us cringe and get our dander up when we think there is something about us we need to change.  Next we do this for 21 daysIn A Row! That’s the behaviorist key for habit forming. Once we do something for 21 straight days it becomes embedded in our psyche. I have done this before and by the time the 21 days are up the time I spend doing the new activity actually increases and the new habit is formed.

“Life is what happens when we make plans” is a famous quote so from time to time I check my daily routine to see if “life” has forced new habits on me and have I lost something I love like my daily painting routine. It seems to be a frivolous activity (I am not a pro after all) yet it is very important to my souls energy and I have learned never to discount what my soul longs for.

So how do you feel about the word habit? Is it a positive energy word or a negative one? Do you have any new habits or routines you would like to add to your life? Pick a time and the activity then make it really, really easy to do and see if you can build on it over time. Martha Beck writes in her book that for her to develop the exercise at the gym habit, her first Ridiculously Easy step was to simply drive to the gym and park her car. She didn’t even get out for the first week. Gradually she did and now she is amazingly fit and trim.

It’s like pennies. We think they are not worth much but when you stop to consider that a million dollars starts with that first penny … you can see how it all adds up and one penny worth of effort will make your dreams come true!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

The True Cost of a Gift

Just before Thanksgiving I heard a commercial for some item that a local department store was selling that they guarantee is “the best price ever” for this item…”get more for your money” at this location….”it’s the best value anywhere” and that’s when it hit me. Is this the “best value” anywhere? How could it be if purchasing it voids the values you possess? You see in order to get this “best price ever” you have to be at this store by midnight on Thanksgiving night, not to mention MIDNIGHT??? Who are we freakin kidding here? How in the world is that the best value? Spoil one holiday in favor of another? And is it even honoring the winter holiday sentiment of “peace and goodwill toward men” to go to these extremes to purchase the perfect gift? As if you won’t be loved and your holiday won’t be a good one unless you get some specific gift at just the right price? Just how is that goodwill? Believe

In order to tally up the real cost of this item I think you have to answer a few questions such as;

  • What is a good night sleep worth to you?
  • What is your Thanksgiving holiday worth to you?
  • Is the gift you are giving and the person you are getting it for worth the $5.00 or the $50.00 you “save” by being up at midnight on Thanksgiving?

So this got me thinking…just what is the cost of a gift? And should a gift really cost anything at all? Let me explain. There are gifts that are completely money free such as; doing someone a favor like washing the dishes for them, taking care of a loved one when they get the flu, or giving someone a compliment, or how about just smiling at the lady at the checkout counter? All are free and all really appreciated.

Then there are gifts that cost money but if you have that money saved away for buying gifts it’s not much of a cost now is it? If you go into debt on your credit card then that gift just became infinitely more “costly.” What about the time you spend to purchase a gift or the gas you use? Say you go to store after store because they are out of stock? What about if you feel guilty because the gift you wanted you couldn’t get so you go for some other item to “make up for their disappointment” and it is more expensive than the one you intended to purchase.

I think it’s important that the giver truly enjoy the shopping, and selecting experience. This puts positive energy on the gift for everyone involved.

Also stop and get clear and “own” what you give and “why” you are giving it because what we give instantly comes back to us. The give-receive energy exchange is instantaneous and both parties are receiving the intent, the energy behind the gift. So if you stress over the gift, you receive stress. If you give to manipulate someone, you are the one manipulated. If you give to show someone you love and cherish them, you are then the recipient of love and adoration as well.

As you move through this holiday season selecting gifts ask yourself, what was the real cost of the gift? If you say “noting” because of the joy and love you got in giving it then I say you succeeded where most fail. You got the point of it all.

So don’t let the store ads push you into doing something you wouldn’t “love” to do. Take your power back and be a deliberate gift giver this year. Have fun shopping and give with love for all.

Happy Holidays!

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach


Workmen In Your Home

There isn’t a home in existence that doesn’t need from time to time a visit from a repair man/woman or service worker of some kind. Perhaps it’s your TV connection that needs service, or a new phone line installed, or your refrigerator repaired. From painters to house cleaners it is vital that you “protect” your privacy when having “strange” guests into your home. I am not even talking about the obvious things we must do concerning our security and safety such as putting away cash and other valuables. This is simply common sense and you don’t want to be party to tempting someone who is normally honest and trustworthy into a misdeed. Moving Day

What I am most concerned with here is your Personal Space Energy. Many of us have vision boards up in our homes or affirmation cards on our refrigerator. Some have even created alters or sanctuaries of peace they use daily. These are the very personal items that we don’t want to share with our friends much less a service stranger. I learned this lesson one day with a very observant AC repair man who not only saw but thought it was his right to comment on my vision board. Not cool.

Respect goes both ways. You respect your visitor by preparing your home for them. You clear out the area they need to work in and prepare for their visit. And your respect yourself by securing those areas of your Home Space you want kept private and secured.

A key point to remember: You may need their help but don’t think you are a victim because something in your home has broken and you need help!! Remember you are the one paying them for their service and you deserve great respect.

Having someone into your home is a big deal. This is your private space and no one – even a good friend, has the right to be there without your permission and rules. These are people who are not privileged with a key to your home so it’s up to you to be clear on what you are willing to share with them.

There is a reason most of us “clean house” before company comes over. It’s not that we keep a dirty house but because we need to protect our privacy and energy. Our business is our own and we use our homes to process our life. Sure it’s also a common courtesy to freshly prepare our home for guests but more than that we are giving our guest a gift by letting them enter our most private space and sharing our life more intimately with them.

I am always amazed when I see celebrity homes in the magazines. I have yet to see one that I actually believed a celebrity “lived” in.  You can tell that they put their best foot forward for the photo shoot and kept their “life” from showing. I applaud because this is their private space after all. So take a tip from the celebrities and secure your home before you have stranger service providers or even friends over to visit.

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

What Is Your Brand?

Have you ever considered yourself as a “brand?” I sure haven’t …until recently that is. It seems to be all the rage these days to “brand yourself” and I find it a bit confusing and not a little odd. Although when I think about our Personal Space I realize that it is actually natural to think we each have a unique brand or style, because we do. However we are also flexible and evolving so I image a “brand” you give yourself this year might not fit you in ten years. PSC Logo

The key to successful “branding” I believe lies in our core values. What do we stand for? What do we believe in? What matters most to us? By answering these questions we can find the theme behind our “brand” even as we evolve and change over time. For instance say you valued organization and all your possessions and work habits lay claim to this value. Then your “brand” would be “a naturally orderly and tidy man/woman.” Be careful not to let other’s brand you. Only you can know for sure if a label or value is true for you. Also be willing to change over time, for as our circumstances change so does our focus. Listen to your heart and you will always be rooted in your own personal truth.

Currently I am attempting to create the “brand” for my Personal Space Coach program. I know that my program is an unconventional way of looking at the Personal Space we all possess so I wanted to find a way to show this in my logo. Although it is still in the process of being finalized, I know for sure it will look something like this.

The core of my program stems from our Home Space. I believe and have experienced how our Home Space can either support our life or interfere with it. We can learn so much about ourselves by observing how we take up space in the rooms of our own home and when we make changes to improve our Home Space Energy our Body Space – health, our Life Space – dreams and our Soul Space – spirit and passion are all enhanced as a result. So I knew a home shape was needed in my logo, but how to represent the rest?

As usual when I pose a question if the answer doesn’t come right away I will let it go for awhile. Then when I least expect it an answer will come to mind. Sure enough while journaling one morning I got a clear picture of my Personal Space Coach logo. This is what came to me.

  • A large outside circle – to represent our Souls Space
  • A house with a chimney – to represent the Home Space we create in the world to support ourselves and the chimney represents our passion
  • Inside the house shape I put a star shaped human form which represents Body Space. I have the head connected – no line separating head to shoulders to represent the open energy from heart to mind. I like the star-human shape because it represents that we are each the “star” of our own life story.
  • I have the Body Space star-human with its arms spread out wide to represent our energy going out into the world which is our Life Space. This star-human is expressing its energy out wide to say… “This is MY space!”
  • In the center of the star-human is a circle with a heart which represents that Soul Space is both within us and surrounds us (large outer circle) and that our link to the Divine comes through our heart. Our best energy and empowerment comes from having a Soulful Open Heart.

I’ll let you know when the final logo is complete, meanwhile what would your own brand-logo look like? Something fun to consider.

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach


Tips for Energizing Your Personal Core Space

At the heart of our Personal Space lies our Core Space. Our Core Space travels with us everywhere we go during our day. This is the space that identifies what it means to be uniquely you. Don’t worry if you feel lost as to just who you are for we are constantly evolving as our life grows and changes. We are periodically called upon to re-invent ourselves during the space of our lifetime. Moving away from home, getting a new job in a different city or retiring from work altogether are examples of major life shifts that might rock our boats so to speak from time to time. Establishing a dynamic Core Space involves identifying and owning what matters to you most – what you value in life. Some of what you value as a teen will be different than what you value in your 30’s but not all of it. We are born with a unique set of predispositions due to our DNA and environment so some of our values will stick with us all of our lives. Knowing how to connect with and stay plugged into your Core Space will assist you greatly though all of life’s changes.

Vision Practice ChairHaving a sense of who you are at your “core” is vital for personal empowerment. Defining your core means to identify what it means to be uniquely you. You can do this by doing some self-discovery steps. Start with where you are now and review the activities and things fill your life. This would be where you spend your time and what items you have around you to support you in all that you are doing.

Core Space Review

  • Make a list of your typical day’s activities. Just the highlights will do.
  • Then note next to each activity what space you are in when you do them; such as bathroom, kitchen, car, office etc.… You can be as detailed as you want.
  • Next jot down how much time you spend at each activity
  • Now add up the minutes or hours you spend at each location/space

What you are discovering here is twofold…

First: You are discovering how many spaces you inhabit during the day, the variety of tasks you are involved in and how much time you devote to each task/area. This information will give you the foundation to then determine how all you do is affecting your energy.

Second: You are discovering how it is that you take your personal space with you wherever you go. Part of it travels with you (the clothes, hairstyle) and part is deposited in the space you vacated for when you need it and holds your spot when you vacate the space for a time. Items on your desk for instance like pens or coffee mug.

Once you have identified where you “live” each day and can see with an objective eye what items fill these spaces, you are now ready for the next task…how much of your stuff is in your Core Space vs how much of someone else’s stuff is filling your space?

My Stuff List

List all the items that are yours alone. For instance look at your work desk; most likely the computer, desk and chair belong to the company. But there will be items around your desk for your use that are unique to you and you own them. What you own is key here because what you choose to buy or call yours will give you great insight into the kind of person you are.

Other’s Stuff List

With this list you will want to stop a moment and review what belongs to others and ask yourself if you benefit from having it in your space (such as the company desk) or if it drains your energy (such as a gift you were given but do not love)

It is important to our personal energy to only have items we love in our space but especially in our Core Spaces because love is the highest vibration of energy and you want that for yourself.

Once you have your list of items organized the next step is to remove anything that you find depletes your energy. You can give it away, toss it or even simply move it to a different space – one that is more community space and not your Core Space.

Be sure to keep your Core Spaces full of items that are personal and energizing to you and you will find your life flows more easily as a result.

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach



Are You A Pioneer?

How badly do you want a home? How hard are you willing to work just to make a home for yourself? Will any home do or do you require a certain “kind” of home before you go to great lengths to get it?

For the early American settlers their desire for a new space in a new area had to be extreme for them to do what they did to get it. Sure the Homestead Act of 1862 motivated many of them to come west to claim their free plot of land to farm but the “getting” to this space was the trick. Many of them never survived the journey for various reasons and those that did basically walked the whole way. They walked becaue they needed their wagon to store all their precious items such as food, medicine, tools and if they were lucky a special piece of furniture. The horses were needed for pulling the wagon and to ride one was a luxury they couldn’t afford. So they walked and covered about 15 miles a day!! If they were in the flatlands they might actually see their camp from the night before. Talk about slow and tedious and grueling!! Yet we know millions did this and enough succeeded to repopulate the American west…we who live here are proof of their great effort. Moving Day

That’s something to think about…your choice of home, and what you are willing to do to get and keep it may reflect for generations your effort and dedication. Our home is our legacy and so in many ways each of us is a pioneer creating the path that is best for us to be of service to the world.

We recently had an economic crisis in the United States and too many people lost their homes. Because the numbers were so high in a short period of time new programs were created to help people keep their mortgages. What I found rather curious during this time was the switch from the words “home” to the word “house.” If they were talking about defaulting on the mortgage it became a “house” or the property of the bank and all too often the fact that these people were losing their Home Space was completely ignored.

Luckily for us, we human beings can create and recreate a Home Space no matter where we are. In fact our original Home Space is truly our Soul that travels with us. The desire to express what is inside of us outwardly into the world is a natural drive for each of us. So each time you are called upon to move “house” trust that you have what it takes to make this space a Home for yourself no matter the circumstances. Think of the Pioneers and realize the impossible can be achieved if you follow your heart and let your Soul guide you. Each time you set out on a journey to move your Home Space you are indeed a Pioneer setting down roots that will be unlike any other you have known before. Even though it can be scary, try to enjoy the process and be patient; over time it will evolve into exactly what you need.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Showing Up For Jury Duty

I was called to jury duty recently and I was surprised to find out just how vital it is for potential jurors to simply show up for the day and wait. Until I watched an introduction video they now play while you wait, I hadn’t realized how crucial it is for jurors to simply be available for the day in case they are needed.

Just by showing up we fulfill a purpose even if we are not chosen. Today there are over 200 of us here on call – on stand-by – wondering if we will be picked. Behind the scenes, this video explains, our statistics are being evaluated by multiple judges and lawyers to see if we are a good fit for the case they need to try. They have over 20 dockets today to fill with each needing 6 to 12 jurors apiece and they want a large selection to choose from.

Apples in basketThis scenario reminds me of buying produce at the market. Who wants to walk up to the bin of apples and have only 20 to choose from especially when you need to purchase 12? No, we all want a large selection from which to take our pick, and we want the ability to scan and observe what’s there in front of us ready for purchase. If we don’t’ have a selection to choose from we can’t get on with the business at hand.

Even if all of the apples are “the same” as in say, all are the mackintosh variety, we still have preferences such as wanting shiny apples vs dull unpolished ones. Or perhaps we want stems on them because our collection is to be used for a centerpiece. We may want a variety of sizes or only all small ones….the point I am making is that only we ourselves know just what we need. Some of what we know is factual and some is through instinct so if we don’t’ have the full selection to choose from right in front of us we can’t make our best decision.

I admit I felt better once I realized that I was already fulfilling a purpose just by sitting there being available. It can be boring and discouraging to “waste” a day waiting on jury duty selection and now I know it’s not a waste at all, and if I ever need a jury I sure hope my neighbors will show up to lend their time and energy toward helping me solve my legal dilemma.

So at jury duty selection my very own Personal Space presence is needed. Just by sitting at the courthouse space vs in my home space I am fulfilling a vital need. Amazing isn’t it?

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Home Away From Home

Having our Home Space decorated, organized and maintained in the manner that serves us best is vital to our happiness and well being; not only in our home but in our day-to-day life as well. I tend to travel a great deal as I often take contract temp jobs to supplement my income. Some weeks I travel to a different office every day. I also love taking short day trips or close to home “stay-cations.” No matter where I go whether it is for a single day or an Home Officeovernight stay, I need to feel empowered and comfortable so this means I need to have a solid hold on what it takes to make me feel “at home” away from home.

I have a little practice I do before I go on a trip or to work at a temp job. I learned the hard way that if I don’t prepare I will miss something that I need because I have taken it presence for granted. This happens  because I am so used to having whatever it  is handy in my home or home office space. Live and learn. These tips work for going on vacation or for any other time you are taking up space in a temporary environment.

Tips to Being  “At Home” on Location-

  • Grab a notebook and pen
  • Get quiet in a room by yourself where you can concentrate
  • Sit in a comfortable chair and visualize your time away from home in your mind
  • Using the notebook I will go through my days activities, listing what I may encounter such as…”cold office, casual jean dress code” or  if it is a vacation I will list the days and events like “afternoon tea, amusement park rides etc.” This activity list will start the process of prompting my mind to know what I might need to be comfortable in each kind of environment
  • Next I begin to list the items I’d like to have handy that are usually found in my home (like the chair pillow, tissues, hand cream etc)
  • I will break up my time in three parts  – Morning, Day and Evening for vacation or for a job I call it Snacks, Lunch, Misc needs

This actually takes more than one session to get correctly because we really do tend to just assume what we need will be “there” for us because we make sure it is in our homes. I have found that once I am focused on the away-time list I will think of things as I go through my day and jot them down.

For my temp jobs I have a notebook and a section for each of the companies I do repeat work for and the list of what I need for each job. I also have a general list of needs. Having done this once and updated it when needed I don’t have to do the visualization tip anymore. I have it covered. It’s only when a new element is introduced that I have to readjust. Then the day or night before I am to leave for a job or vacation I gather everything up even pre-pack it if I can. I will also leave myself a list of last minute items to add on my refrigerator just in case I have to leave in a rush.

I know a few frequent travelers who actually purchase duplicates of what they need so their traveling suitcase stays partially packed and ready for the next trip. This reminds me of William Wrigley Jr. of the Wrigley gum fortune. We have a Wrigley mansion in Phoenix , AZ where I live and once when I was on a tour of the mansion I learned he had about 5 of these homes all over the world, designed and decorated the same so he and his family would feel at home no matter what location in the world they were visiting.

I hope this helps you the next time you need to make a satellite location your “home away from home.”

till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach