Do You Have a Personal Private Spot?

We all need personal time to ourselves, but with our busy lives and constant activity via the internet it can be difficult to find this time and space. This is why I ask all of my clients to create for themselves somewhere in their home a personal private spot. This is a place in the home that you can call your own. No one else sits here or disturbs the possessions you keep here. Having this private space anchors us so that our energy is strong and stable. It is our “home base,” the place we return to at the end of the day or even during the day to collect our thoughts, to refresh and to center ourselves. Vision Practice Chair

It is our birthright to take up space our way. We are given our own Personal Space real-estate at the moment of conception. That spark of life from the Divine, our Soul Space, ignited the human life that was developing in the womb. This Soul and Body Space energy grew as we developed and experienced life. The personal private spot acts as a powerful root that keeps us grounded and allows us the time and space we need to reconnect with our true essence. Our energy is enhanced when we create this space by filling it with the things that give us comfort and joy.

You especially need to create and claim a personal power spot for yourself if you live with others. Those you live with can do this as well and as you respect each other’s private spaces and private time spent there, you will find your relationships improve. Taking up Personal Space consciously is akin to declaring ownership for your life. Before you think these steps sound like work, remember if you are not taking responsibility for your life then someone else is, and that someone else will have power over you.

Creating a space that you can call your very own, that no one will disturb without your permission is a vital step to reducing the stress in your life. It will also energize you and enhance your personal power. It’s the step that will allow you to expand and take up space in the world as the unique, distinctive individual that you are. You might think this message is only needed for young adults who are just beginning to express themselves in the adult world, but in fact most adults have lost much of their Personal Space over the years due to education, training, and social pressure. We are taught to fit-in, get along, cooperate and compromise until there is nothing left of the unique individual that we are at our core. Rarely are we encouraged in school, at work or in our families to “stand up and be different!”

This step of establishing your private power spot is so crucial to the Personal Space Journey that it is the #1 Energy Check I use for my Home-Space Energy Review.

Personal Private Spots are as diverse are we are, and no matter your living conditions I can help you create one for yourself. Please write and tell me about your space and how you make it uniquely yours. If you need ideas or support let me know.

I would love to hear about the places you have created for yourself.

’till next time,
Ginger – Marie
Your Personal Space Coach


Must Be Present to Win

This time of year the film industry gets busy with all of their various award ceremonies; the Golden Globes, the Grammy’s, The Oscars and more. One of the phrases you hear a lot is “you must be present to win.” Now with the big public award ceremonies it is acceptable to not be present yourself and you can still win; however the “presence” of the winner is still felt. Sometimes they show up on recorded video feed, or they send in another person to accept the award on their behalf.  They can get away with that in the entertainment industry because the energy of the winner is so huge via their songs, dance or acting. Award Winner

In smaller venues this phrase is usually meant to keep people in their chairs so they stay for the whole presentation. The drawing for the prize is at the end of the program and is used as an incentive for participation.

These are the key words that struck me; participation and presence. For a winning life don’t we need to participate? And in order to participate don’t we need to be present? If you don’t know you won something, you can’t receive it. Or you can know you won and still not “receive” it such as in the case of Woody Allen in 2014 who won a Golden Globe but didn’t attend. He never attends these award ceremonies. He has chosen not to receive these commendations in any form. He does his craft for other reasons. Woody is not “present to win” which means he is not present for this type of energy in his life. Yet I would guess that he is quite present and powerful in his life because it takes a lot of courage and fortitude to stand up against the tide of pressure especially publically. So kudos to Woody Allen for taking up space his way and sticking to it for decades!

Do you have to be present to win? Yes and no. It depends on what you want to win. If you want to win self-respect, autonomy, privacy and live life for your own reasons then that is what you need to be present for, so you win that. But if you want to join the crowd for whatever reason, and receive the accolades of your fans and peers, then yes you need to be present in that format to “win.”

The point here is to decide what it is you want to win. Ask yourself what you want to be “present” for. What is the life you wish to have? Go for that all the way, stick to its unique format and make yourself present for that to win – no matter the opinion of others and what they are choosing to be present for. No I admit this takes courage but if you find the courage once it will be easier the next time to stand up for what you value and be present for that “win” in your life.

May this courage to be our unique selves come easier for all of us in the New Year to come!

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a phrase we use and it is good advice. Yet how many of us judge ourselves “by our cover” and usually we find ourselves lacking? Don't Judge a Book

Each morning we wake up and get ready for our day. We check on our appearance (our book cover) by looking in a mirror as we do our hair, put on our make-up and get dressed. When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror and said “hello beautiful!” or “looking good!” to yourself? Why not I wonder? We do look good. How do I know this? Because God doesn’t create ugly! The Universe is overflowing with massive varieties of beauty. From the pug-nose face of a mix-breed dog, to the wild eyes of a fly, to the various sizes, shapes, colors and styles of human beings. If only one style, one color, one shape or “one-size-fits-all” were true then the Universe wouldn’t be so chock full of diversity would it?

Even if you are home with the flu or covered in a rash you are still beautiful. Beauty is value and it goes far beyond the face we carry, or the style we wear. Our true beauty is the total package of us…our thoughts, our generosity, our health and what we create and share with the world. Do you remember Mother Theresa and Princess Dianna? Now on the one hand if we were going to “judge a book by its cover” we would say that Dianna was beautiful and Mother Theresa was homely and not so attractive right? And wouldn’t we be mistaken! There isn’t a person alive who encountered Mother Theresa who would say she was anything but beauty in action. Love is true beauty and Mother Theresa taught the world by her actions how to express love beautifully! Now Princess Dianna was beautiful as well both in fashionable style and in deeds. She started out as “book cover” beauty and became the full value of beauty by her actions over time. Mother Theresa never expressed herself in fashion beauty but then her life mission didn’t require that, while Princess Dianna’s did.

So don’t get caught up in the package. Go deeper and see the full picture and I guarantee you will find beauty within and by noticing it you allow it to bloom even brighter!

The next time you find yourself critically judging your appearance STOP and remember there is more to you than that “bad haircut” or whatever you are judging yourself about. Begin listing all the qualities you possess you are proud of. Count your blessings instead of your wants. Do this in front of the mirror and before you know it you will see the beauty that you truly are shine forth from the sparkle in your eyes!

One of my favorite authors calls this sparkle “Soul Shine” which is exactly correct. So get your Soul Shine up to full power before you leave for your day and I guarantee your energy will soar and your day will be as beautiful as you are!!

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach


Are You Getting What You Want?

I had a professor in college who was a bit of smart aleck and one of his favorite phrases was “Happiness is wanting what you get, not getting what you want.” He used this quite frequently when giving us weekend assignments. I know this phrase is around with other additions but at that time in college I had never heard it before and I thought it was just plain stupid. Time Out

I have come to reconsider my young adult-self’s opinion and I believe my life experience is the reason. I am not sure when inspiration struck but one day while pondering this phrase I decided to give it at try. I thought what if I just said “thank you” for whatever happened? What if I found something to like in what was occurring? This is somewhat like what the character Pollyanna does with her “glad game” but with a twist.

When I know what I am hoping to achieve – what I would consider  the “success” of my objective – and I don’t get the results I wanted,  I will stop and look at what DID happen and ask myself how was getting “this” giving me what I wanted? And surprisingly enough I found in each scenario how I was getting what I wanted at least in the “end result” of my goal.

You see we say we want something, like a new home with specific items, or a new car in a particular color and style and when something else happens we get upset. For instance you are saving for your dream car. You have it all picked out when one day your company transfers you to New York City where having a car is more trouble than benefit. You are frustrated because you didn’t get your wish and you had worked hard for it. BUT – and in life there is always a “but” – you did get your end result/goal. Ask yourself what was the reason you wanted the car? You might find it was because the brand make and model had an excellent safety record, or was reliable or was comfortable. Perhaps it was a “green” car and good for the environment and your pocket book by using less gas. The reasons behind our wishes are what we want to focus on here. So getting the job in NYC just happens to be within walking distance to your home and if it is raining your building has a car service to drive you. So right there you have reliable transportation, comfort and good for the environment and you get to where you are going in style….NYC style.

I recently created a wish list of what I wanted to have happen for my life before a big family event. I didn’t achieve a single one of my wish list items specifically but I did get the end result I had been working for. The energy, feeling and health I needed were all there for me when the big day came. And when I looked at my list of “wants” the reason for each one was what I received even if the specific way I thought it would play out was different. This event is now one of my happiest memories ever!!

So the next time you find yourself unhappy for frustrated with the way your life is moving along, stop and ask yourself…

  • What exactly did I want or hope would happen?
  • Why did I want it play out this way?
  • What result was I hoping to achieve?
  • What feelings did I want to have?
  • Just what is my “happy end result?”
  • Next look at what DID happen and see if you did receive your “core reasons” after all
  • If not then ask yourself “how does what DID happen benefit me?” It might be a next step toward your master goal.

You might find that you did get at least part of what you wanted after all.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach


Home Space Self-Reflection

Our Home Space is a mirror reflection of what is going on inside of us and this reflection vibrates out into our life creating what we claim we deserve by what we let ourselves have in our own home! Reflection

If we don’t let ourselves have, do and be what we want in our very own home, how can we expect to attract what we want in our life such as in our relationships, our jobs and our life experience? Here are some questions to consider and the possible Life Space results…

Home Space Review

A Home Space Review will ask you to consider these types of question…

  • Do you have any items of furniture you can’t stand in your house? Perhaps it is a color or a pattern you hate or something doesn’t fit and feel comfortable to you. Unless your reason for keeping these items is that they belong to others who live with you and this is a healthy compromise you are making can you see how holding on to items you don’t like could attract in your daily life events, situations and people you don’t like as well?
  • Do you have a room or rooms that you avoid or prefer not to be in? Can you list the reasons why you might feel this way? If you don’t face what you are avoiding in your home what likely hood will you face things you don’t like in your outside life?
  • Do you have rooms that you spend a great deal of time in and do they energize or drain you? You might find you frequent favorites places for lunch and even sit at the same table for coffee when it’s available.
  • Think about your furnishings; do you have items you chose yourself or were they hand-me-downs from family until you could afford what you really wanted? If they give you a bad “poor me” feeling is there any way you could jazz them up so that they felt fresh and new to you? This might reflect in your daily life with frequent “I can’t afford” that comments and feeling undervalued at work.
  • What colors are your rooms done in? Do these colors feel good to you? Do you also wear these colors as clothing? Wearing your favorite colors – the ones that look good on you is a great energy boost and is also one when you decorate your home with these same color.

Once you become aware of the energy drainers in your home and make changes to improve the overall feeling of your Home Space, you will find changes in your life occur automatically. For instance you might start seeing improvements in your relationships, career or health. When we begin to take notice of how we treat ourselves in our private spaces and take steps to improve our personal energy field, positive changes will ripple out into the rest of our personal space expression.

These questions are just a tiny sample of what I do for a Home Space Energy Review. Try applying these questions and making changes and see if you don’t notice improvements in your life as well.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach


Creating Harmony For The Odd Couple

Do you live with someone who isn’t as neat as you are? We find this sort of situation funny in a TV show like “The Odd Couple” but in real life it can add disturbing energy to the Home Space we share with others- and that is not good for anyone.

We are each born with unique predispositions so that a “mess” to one person is perfect organization to another. I have seen homes where I couldn’t imagine how they manage, but the people are able to find just what they want instantly. They tell me it’s a matter of having what they want handy and out in the open so they don’t forget it. Moving Day

Most energy workers would frown on this type of functionality. Feng Shui the Chinese art of placement, which is thousands of years old, promotes simplicity and organization and for the most part I agree. But of course I would – I am a Virgo after all-ha! However, during my 30 plus years as a designer I have seen many instances where a mess wasn’t really a mess, and to ask the owner to clean it up would be a great disservice to their creative energy. Only the beholder of the mess knows whether it is a problem or a style of living for them. In another post I will go over how you can tell the difference but for now I want to focus on how two polar opposite types can live in harmony together.

The first thing I would advise to a couple or family that has different views on mess and order is for them to grant each person a room of their own. If that is not possible then a room they have the right to create in their particular style of messy or neat. This space becomes “sacred space” to the one it belongs to and they get to have the whole space in their style of functionality without any judgment from others. Once each person has their designated space, the rest of the home is divided between all the other members in a manner that shares styles. For instance the living room – if this is the room they entertain guests in then this space would become a mostly “neat space” so as to allow guests space to sit and visit. The TV or family room might be a blend of the two with a designated chair space for the messy one and one for the neat one. To give you an example of this check out the TV show Frasier where the dad has his scruffy chair in the pristine modern Living Room of Frasier’s loft. The two parties agree not to “mess with” the others portion of each shared room and to be responsible for their part only.

For the “community rooms” in your home – those that you share and are half messy and half neat I suggest creating special days as “cleaning days.” In my experience the messy ones frequently feel overwhelmed by their mess and perhaps in need of some TLC attention. A special cleaning day is just the ticket. On this day you set aside time for the two of you (or whole family) to clean and tidy the home together. I call this a “Cleaning Party” and that is just what you want to make it. Put on a funny TV show you all love or music while you work. Have a coke or Starbucks coffee and fun snacks. Create a plan to go room to room and assign tasks ahead of time for each member. The key here is to HAVE FUN while cleaning and bonding. In this activity the Home Space becomes YOUR Home Space and is a great harmony booster.

With a set day and time for the whole family to clean together the messy one gets the help they need and the neat one doesn’t feel that all the cleaning is on their shoulders alone and both get bonding time. Acceptance is the gift of love we give to each other and to ourselves!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach





Delete the Word Failure

I heard a quote the other day that really perked me up…
Failure is not the opposite of success, it is a stepping stone to success.” Ariana Huffington

I really like the image this projects because when you think about it there are way more stepping stones in the world than there are landing spots. If you are crossing a stream you will have a dozen or more stepping stones and just two shores. If you are walking on a stepping stone path from your car to the front door you will have at least six to a dozen or so stepping stones and only one exit and one entrance spot. Stepping Stones

Then there is the falling down along the way. This too is not an indication of failure…in fact I don’t think failure actually exists as we tend to refer to it today. Failure just means “not yet” or “pending” but those words don’t emotionally defeat us the way the word “failure” will. So perhaps we need to delete that word from our personal dictionary.

Consider an Olympic athlete. There, just that title denotes an amazing success don’t you think? Yet once they hit the big Olympic games and don’t get a medal they are considered a “failure” – how is that right? Or even a candidate for a job position who is not chosen. Didn’t they write a resume? Didn’t they dress up, show up and go through the interview process? Didn’t they also learn more about the company and the people involved in the process of applying? Information is NEVER failure and as long as we are breathing and thinking we are gathering and processing information non-stop…we are “pending” as we take action toward the success we after. I can’t tell you the number of times I have learned something crucial to my wellbeing and happiness during an interview for a job I didn’t get. I remember one time an eager beaver in the office I was applying to took it upon herself to call me to get information on whether we would be a good fit. This was not her business to do this but the fact that she did and the fact that I would be working with such a control freak made me cancel the official interview. The information her phone call gave me told me I wouldn’t like it there.

So pay attention as you are gathering information. See all your steps toward your goal as stepping stones because even when you reach the “shore” you will keep on moving and create another goal to achieve. Life is all about living after all and there is really no “getting there” just  being here right now. As Human BEINGS we need to remember this and cut ourselves some slack and perhaps delete the word “failure” from your personal dictionary.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Tips for Energizing Your Personal Core Space

At the heart of our Personal Space lies our Core Space. Our Core Space travels with us everywhere we go during our day. This is the space that identifies what it means to be uniquely you. Don’t worry if you feel lost as to just who you are for we are constantly evolving as our life grows and changes. We are periodically called upon to re-invent ourselves during the space of our lifetime. Moving away from home, getting a new job in a different city or retiring from work altogether are examples of major life shifts that might rock our boats so to speak from time to time. Establishing a dynamic Core Space involves identifying and owning what matters to you most – what you value in life. Some of what you value as a teen will be different than what you value in your 30’s but not all of it. We are born with a unique set of predispositions due to our DNA and environment so some of our values will stick with us all of our lives. Knowing how to connect with and stay plugged into your Core Space will assist you greatly though all of life’s changes.

Vision Practice ChairHaving a sense of who you are at your “core” is vital for personal empowerment. Defining your core means to identify what it means to be uniquely you. You can do this by doing some self-discovery steps. Start with where you are now and review the activities and things fill your life. This would be where you spend your time and what items you have around you to support you in all that you are doing.

Core Space Review

  • Make a list of your typical day’s activities. Just the highlights will do.
  • Then note next to each activity what space you are in when you do them; such as bathroom, kitchen, car, office etc.… You can be as detailed as you want.
  • Next jot down how much time you spend at each activity
  • Now add up the minutes or hours you spend at each location/space

What you are discovering here is twofold…

First: You are discovering how many spaces you inhabit during the day, the variety of tasks you are involved in and how much time you devote to each task/area. This information will give you the foundation to then determine how all you do is affecting your energy.

Second: You are discovering how it is that you take your personal space with you wherever you go. Part of it travels with you (the clothes, hairstyle) and part is deposited in the space you vacated for when you need it and holds your spot when you vacate the space for a time. Items on your desk for instance like pens or coffee mug.

Once you have identified where you “live” each day and can see with an objective eye what items fill these spaces, you are now ready for the next task…how much of your stuff is in your Core Space vs how much of someone else’s stuff is filling your space?

My Stuff List

List all the items that are yours alone. For instance look at your work desk; most likely the computer, desk and chair belong to the company. But there will be items around your desk for your use that are unique to you and you own them. What you own is key here because what you choose to buy or call yours will give you great insight into the kind of person you are.

Other’s Stuff List

With this list you will want to stop a moment and review what belongs to others and ask yourself if you benefit from having it in your space (such as the company desk) or if it drains your energy (such as a gift you were given but do not love)

It is important to our personal energy to only have items we love in our space but especially in our Core Spaces because love is the highest vibration of energy and you want that for yourself.

Once you have your list of items organized the next step is to remove anything that you find depletes your energy. You can give it away, toss it or even simply move it to a different space – one that is more community space and not your Core Space.

Be sure to keep your Core Spaces full of items that are personal and energizing to you and you will find your life flows more easily as a result.

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach



Take An Adult Time-Out

Have you ever wondered why we have a yellow light on our traffic light system of green-yellow-red? It is because we humans are not computers or light switches that can stop or shift gears on a dime. We need that “in between time” to adjust and connect. Interestingly the “in-between time” is also considered by the ancients as the magical space. For instance the space of a doorway between one room and the next, or the moment between sun-up and sun-set or the entrance step into the forest from the meadow. Transition is magic and if we can stop and pause in the transition phase we can access the magic of life and the magic we each hold inside of ourselves. Yet we humans don’t seem to have time for such nonsense as doing “nothing” or pausing.

Yellow LightI find this curious because is would seem by our actions that we treat our tools better than we do our bodies. For instance would you expect your car to run without gas or oil? What about running your car for hours at high speed and it overheats would you just shame it and scold it and call it a wimp and tell it to “man up” and keep going? Nope. You would stop and cool your engine and take care of  your cars’ needs …in fact you wouldn’t let it get that bad unless it was an emergency to do so. But does your life run on emergencies? I don’t’ think so but we act as if it does by pushing the envelope day after day and never giving ourselves time to rest, regroup and stop in the “between” work and sleep moment. Now I am not knocking sleep but sleep is a separate function and in fact if you don’t spend time in the rest phase, sleep can end up being not as reviving as you need.

Even your computer will need time to boot up (a between moment) and time to shut down ( a between moment) and in these moments what is it doing? It’s accessing and organizing all the knowledge and wisdom it has stored inside. Shouldn’t we do the same for ourselves?

Tips for an Adult Time-Out

  • Give yourself regular “time outs” and pause frequently during your day to reassess how your day is going. Set your watch or phone alarm to remind you to take a break and walk away from your work for 5-15 minutes. Go outside if you can; fresh air always enhances our energy.
  • Consider other options for the plans ahead and adjust if needed. If you feel overwhelmed ask yourself for each item on your to-do list… “Does this need to be done today?”If not, make a list and choose a day for doing it and put it away until that day.
  • Stop the runway train energy in its tracks by staying aware of when it surfaces. I have been known to walk to the furthers bathroom in my office building just to give myself an extra moment to decompress. Others I know will take a break in the stairwell since no one uses them.
  • If at the end of your day you realize you stayed in stress mode and ran like a runaway train stop and notice how your evening evolves… how are you feeling …do you have energy for fun after work or on the weekends or are you too tired to relax and have fun? These answers will motivate you to take charge and stop being an adrenaline junkie at work.

I remember one year we went on a two week family vacation…or we tried to. My husband at the time was working 60 hour weeks and he just couldn’t relax and enjoy his time off and we ended up cutting the trip short. Did he have to work like that? Well he told himself he did so he did. But in Truth did he? No, but what we tell ourselves ends up being true for us and since he never stopped to rest in between work and sleep he couldn’t access his wisdom. Addictions result when we avoid our personal magic. This happens because sometimes we don’t want to uncover the pain that is blocking our magic. But the funny things is all we have to do is confront the pain once and its gone – poof forever! Yet our magic and wisdom just grows and enhances the more we honor it by giving it time and space.

Every day on the road as you travel you see yellow lights…let them be a reminded to yourself to take a Time Out and reboot and refresh during your day…you will find you have more energy for life and joy if you do.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Body Armor Power Tips

Knights of the realm, in days of old… (sounds like I am writing a fairy tale) used to wear metal armor to protect their body when going into battle. The weapon of the time was a sword or an arrow and the metal armor proved a great protector from harm. However well this armor protected them from arrows and swords it also caused problems under certain circumstances. For instance; if they fell off their horse while crossing a river they would sink and drown. The armor weighed so much it was exhausting to wear. And they couldn’t easily sleep in it so they were not protected when they slept and had to post a guard. Sun Visor Armor

Why am I talking about a knight’s body armor you might ask? Because we too in the modern world where our own body armor, and for the same reason. Some actually wear it to protect themselves from death…fire fighters fireproof gear, police bulletproof vests, astronauts flight suits etc. What about those of us who don’t wear a uniform? What kind of body armor do we wear, and does it serve  or hinder us?

Short List of Possible Body Armor

  • running shoes
  • hiking boots
  • fanny pack that carries water
  • back packs
  • business suits both men and women
  • hospital scrubs
  • sunglasses
  • visors and other hats
  • snow boots

The reason I call this a “short list” of body armor is because the list is actually unlimited. You see anything we put on our body from our clothes to our fragrance can be armor -it all depends upon what our purpose is for appearing in the manner we choose.

Sometimes what we choose is healthy for us and sometimes it is demeaning and damaging to our personal empowerment and energy. I once worked in a network marketing business with a women who made sure she showed extra cleavage pretty much on a daily basis but especially if she was meeting with a male client. I asked her once if she didn’t feel self conscious and she said she used what power she had to get the sale. She actually believed this and from my viewpoint she was hurting herself. Other women made more money than she did in the business and they didn’t expose themselves.

Checklist for Healthy Body Armor

Ask yourself these 3 questions and you will know if what you are choosing to wear is harmful to your energy.

  1. Would I be afraid to go out without my chosen body armor?” If your answer is “yes” then ask – would your body be harmed such as in not wearing running shoes… then it’s a healthy choice, but if it’s yes because you would be afraid emotionally then you would want to examine what else you could do to feel empowered. It might be to not expose yourself to that environment and take that risk.
  2. “Am I hoping to get a certain result for wearing this armor?” Such as my friend with her cleavage – in other words is there a level of dishonesty happening where you are trying to manipulate another, or is it just standard protocol and respectful to wear what you are choosing such as a business suit at a corporate convention and there is a dress code. Remember manipulation might seem like a good idea and even necessary but in the end the only one we are truly manipulating is ourselves- not a very empowering thing to do!
  3. “Is there something I am NOT wearing because I fear ridicule or disapproval?” For instance I tend to wear a visor when I am outside. The Arizona sun really bothers my eyes and it protects me more than just sunglasses do. But it is not stylish and I had to get over not following the current style vs. doing what my body needed.

It is self-empowering to go to bat for yourself and make your actions true to what you need while not demeaning yourself. If you are still stumped about whether your chosen body armor for the day is empowering or not ask yourself if you were talking to your best friend what would you tell them to choose? Always be your own best friend!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach