In the course of a single day you will have moments that lift your spirits and moments that bring you down. The trick is to keep going. No matter what just happened, in the next moment it can and most likely will change. But sometimes it is really difficult to put on a happy face when things seem to keep going “wrong.” It is during those moments that changing your “station” (like you do on TV) is crucial for your energy and well being. I have a few tips to share that have worked for me.
Feel Better Tips:
- When things are going your way it’s important not to dismiss them as “luck” or “flukes” but instead do what we usually do when something goes wrong…rehash the happy moment!! Yep, I mean it. Stop a moment and review what you said, what they said, how perfectly everything went. See that smile on your face? That’s what you want to re-experience and then when you are done say silently to yourself “I want more of that please!” and then move on. This is “watering the success” which will bring more of the same to you.
- Next, do the opposite with the event that “went wrong.” Instead of rehashing what you said, what they said, what you didn’t do so well etc. change the channel-turn your attention to something that feels good! If you find you are stuck in a bad memory of an event that went “wrong” move on and get something going that you love, do what you like even if it’s just taking a walk or listening to a favorite song you need in the moment to shift out of the problem. This is like giving your energy a re-boot.
- In the evening or when your day is done its good to reflect back. Take what went well and remember what worked. Take what went wrong and decide how you would do it differently. This way both events simply become “information” and you stay in the flow that change is always fluid and you are never stuck or doomed.
- Also in your evening reflection, take a moment to add up the bits and pieces of your day so you can see the whole effect. Due to my background as a Home Ec teacher I see each day as a cake I am making. If you pull out all the ingredients for baking a cake; flour, sugar, salt, vanilla, baking soda, raw egg etc and examine and taste each one you might find yourself getting discouraged. Most of the ingredients that make a great tasting cake don’t taste very good by themselves. If you based your actions on this taste test you might give up. That’s “watering the problem” or focusing on the negative and not considering that it has a benefit in the big picture. If you stop now you won’t get the end result you want of a delicious cake for dessert. So you move forward in faith and proceed to make the recipe as directed. You trust as you put this “nasty” mixture into round pans that this is right. You further take a leap of faith when you place these pans into an oven so hot you have to use potholders or risk getting burned! Each and every step by itself looks more like failure than success…slimy raw egg, mouth drying flour, bitter vanilla and burning oven…all look “bad” to our untrained eye.
Our life is like that. Do what comes up next to do and trust in the BIG picture. You will get what you want, especially if you keep your focus on the goal. By focusing on the goal we are led along the path to its location. The path is not the goal but the path is necessary to achieve the goal….no matter how many nasty turns the path takes. It all adds up to the success we want. Trust this!
’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach