How are you feeling today?
Do you feel F. I. N. E as in “freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional?” I borrowed this from the movie “The Italian Job.” The first time I heard it I laughed, but then I realized it really was a clever way of describing how we feel when the non-stop monkey mind of the ego is at work running our life. It would be one thing if only our mood was affected when the monkey-mind crazy self defeating thoughts kick in but our thoughts also affect our body. How we feel on any given day usually involves not just our physical body but also our mind as well. If we are in a good “state of mind” we can handle body pain more easily but if we are not in a good state of mind we can actually cause our body to hurt….such as getting a stomach ache, or a headache.
I began to wonder what would be the opposite of F.I.N.E and came up with W.E.L.L. “wonderful, energized, light and limber.” At first when I look at this it seems I am only talking about how my body feels while F.I.N.E. is all about how we are feeling emotionally but the two work together and the choice of how we feel in any given moment is completely ours. If we watch how we react and catch ourselves we can shift our response.
Say a coworker forgets to bring the document you needed for your presentation…you can Freak Out or you could put that emotion on pause for a minute and find something to feel good about -Wonderful about – then take a deep breath and ask “I wonder how I can solve this?” Just because your first preference didn’t happen doesn’t mean all is lost. When you choose to “wonder,” you remain open to new ideas and sometimes an even better option. Look at the word wonderful = wonder + full. When we wonder we allow ourselves to fill up with new ideas and options. Keeping our mind open will always result in better energy and solutions.
To be Energized vs. Insecure is a matter of monitoring your self-talk. If you choose to “assume positive intent” when you are dealing with people instead of going with your insecure feelings your energy will soar. So the next time you pass a co-worker and they don’t smile at you, assume they are having a tough day instead of thinking they are mad at you. Then go about doing what you can to help them if you want.
Feeling Light means to take life lightly like a butterfly would knowing in the next moment things will be different. Humor is a great tool to use when you need to “lighten-up” and feel better. Even if the subject at hand isn’t funny you can take a break to watch or read something funny and then your perspective will shift and the issue that was making you Emotional will feel better. To feel and respond to life Emotionally is a very heavy feeling that weighs you down and makes it hard to shift, adjust and think. Now I am one for saying to feel what is real in the moment but to act on Emotional feelings can only cause us trouble. Take a time out and process the emotions and then return to manage the issue going on.
To be Limber vs. Neurotic is to be able to go with the flow. When we get neurotic we constantly doubt ourselves and the events around us and we cling and hold on to the way things are. This gets us into trouble because “things” are always changing and to cling will only upset us in the end. Be agile in your thinking and feelings to bend with the changes and you will have excellent energy. It takes a lot of energy to maintain neurosis for this means clinging and gripping and clenching. If when in a neurotic state you need to double and triple check to be sure things are “right” then you are going to be exhausted at the end of the day because “right” is just an illusion. Right for now is how life works and in the next moment things change.
So try playing with these two acronyms and see if you can switch from feeling F.I.N.E to feeling W.E.L.L. when a crisis occurs and your energy will rebound as well.
’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach