Do you live with someone who isn’t as neat as you are? We find this sort of situation funny in a TV show like “The Odd Couple” but in real life it can add disturbing energy to the Home Space we share with others- and that is not good for anyone.
We are each born with unique predispositions so that a “mess” to one person is perfect organization to another. I have seen homes where I couldn’t imagine how they manage, but the people are able to find just what they want instantly. They tell me it’s a matter of having what they want handy and out in the open so they don’t forget it.
Most energy workers would frown on this type of functionality. Feng Shui the Chinese art of placement, which is thousands of years old, promotes simplicity and organization and for the most part I agree. But of course I would – I am a Virgo after all-ha! However, during my 30 plus years as a designer I have seen many instances where a mess wasn’t really a mess, and to ask the owner to clean it up would be a great disservice to their creative energy. Only the beholder of the mess knows whether it is a problem or a style of living for them. In another post I will go over how you can tell the difference but for now I want to focus on how two polar opposite types can live in harmony together.
The first thing I would advise to a couple or family that has different views on mess and order is for them to grant each person a room of their own. If that is not possible then a room they have the right to create in their particular style of messy or neat. This space becomes “sacred space” to the one it belongs to and they get to have the whole space in their style of functionality without any judgment from others. Once each person has their designated space, the rest of the home is divided between all the other members in a manner that shares styles. For instance the living room – if this is the room they entertain guests in then this space would become a mostly “neat space” so as to allow guests space to sit and visit. The TV or family room might be a blend of the two with a designated chair space for the messy one and one for the neat one. To give you an example of this check out the TV show Frasier where the dad has his scruffy chair in the pristine modern Living Room of Frasier’s loft. The two parties agree not to “mess with” the others portion of each shared room and to be responsible for their part only.
For the “community rooms” in your home – those that you share and are half messy and half neat I suggest creating special days as “cleaning days.” In my experience the messy ones frequently feel overwhelmed by their mess and perhaps in need of some TLC attention. A special cleaning day is just the ticket. On this day you set aside time for the two of you (or whole family) to clean and tidy the home together. I call this a “Cleaning Party” and that is just what you want to make it. Put on a funny TV show you all love or music while you work. Have a coke or Starbucks coffee and fun snacks. Create a plan to go room to room and assign tasks ahead of time for each member. The key here is to HAVE FUN while cleaning and bonding. In this activity the Home Space becomes YOUR Home Space and is a great harmony booster.
With a set day and time for the whole family to clean together the messy one gets the help they need and the neat one doesn’t feel that all the cleaning is on their shoulders alone and both get bonding time. Acceptance is the gift of love we give to each other and to ourselves!
’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach