Believe In Your Dreams

Do you have trouble believing that you can have your dreams, wants and desires? I admit that I have trouble with this from time to time. What I have learned is that I have to be the magnet to attract what it is I want in my life. I can’t just want and wish for it. Even taking action won’t help if I don’t actually “believe” I can have what I want. If I don’t have the belief that it can be mine, and believe I deserve it…then my actions will only result in supporting my “can’t have it” belief. Believe

Belief is magnetic and will attract to you what you believe, so it’s important to examine what we believe in, especially if we are not getting what it is we say we want. To believe is to “know” that this desire is right, good and true for you and all you have to do is open to receiving it fully. You might think if we want something then we are already open to receiving it but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes we want things because our heart calls us to reach for it but perhaps we have had an experience, or training that gives us another belief that having this item would be bad for us. For example say we wanted to be wealthy but at the same time all our life our parents spoke harshly about the wealthy people they knew. Perhaps they called them crooks or stingy. Well, our not wanting to lose our parents esteem or not wanting to be considered a crook or stingy might override the desire to be wealthy. Unless we remove the limiting belief we can’t have the abundance desire even if we believe we deserve wealth. See how that works?

So how in the world do we know if we have a limiting belief to clear out? Well you have to play detective and ask yourself some questions such as;

  • Where did the idea of what you want come from? Was it TV, your mother, your friends?? Is it a deep and true calling from your heart or is something that others told you to want? If it’s not really what you truly want you will very likely find a way to block it from happening. In this case the limiting belief is going along with the crowd instead of listening to your own heart. You might manifest the desire but it won’t make you happy even if it makes your friends and family happy. Examine what it is you really want and see if you can create a win-win situation; get what you want and what they want as well.
  • Think of something you know you don’t want, then ask yourself “why not?” What are your good reasons? Do these reasons/beliefs still ring true for you? If not, just by being conscious of them you can remove them. Next what would be the opposite of this “don’t want” that you would like to have? Often our dislikes give us great information about what it is we are really wanting. Let them inform you.
  • Look at your life, your home, or your work. Pick one area of success (a dream come true) and see if you can discover the belief you had to have to get this.
  • Now look at a desire you don’t currently have and ask “what would I have to believe in order for this to show up in my life?” Do I have a belief that might contradict my desire and block me from having this?
  • You might also look at this missing desire and see if something you currently have has to go in order to have the new thing. For instance say you want to live in New York City and currently you live in LA and you drive a SUV. You might have to let your love of driving and the SUV go in order to have the New York City flat because they don’t work together very well.

Getting what we want is actually a rather simple thing to do. The fact that we are complex beings is what slows us down. So first make sure it is what you truly want, from your heart, and then if you are not able to manifest it do a little detective work to see how you might be blocking your dream from coming true.

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a phrase we use and it is good advice. Yet how many of us judge ourselves “by our cover” and usually we find ourselves lacking? Don't Judge a Book

Each morning we wake up and get ready for our day. We check on our appearance (our book cover) by looking in a mirror as we do our hair, put on our make-up and get dressed. When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror and said “hello beautiful!” or “looking good!” to yourself? Why not I wonder? We do look good. How do I know this? Because God doesn’t create ugly! The Universe is overflowing with massive varieties of beauty. From the pug-nose face of a mix-breed dog, to the wild eyes of a fly, to the various sizes, shapes, colors and styles of human beings. If only one style, one color, one shape or “one-size-fits-all” were true then the Universe wouldn’t be so chock full of diversity would it?

Even if you are home with the flu or covered in a rash you are still beautiful. Beauty is value and it goes far beyond the face we carry, or the style we wear. Our true beauty is the total package of us…our thoughts, our generosity, our health and what we create and share with the world. Do you remember Mother Theresa and Princess Dianna? Now on the one hand if we were going to “judge a book by its cover” we would say that Dianna was beautiful and Mother Theresa was homely and not so attractive right? And wouldn’t we be mistaken! There isn’t a person alive who encountered Mother Theresa who would say she was anything but beauty in action. Love is true beauty and Mother Theresa taught the world by her actions how to express love beautifully! Now Princess Dianna was beautiful as well both in fashionable style and in deeds. She started out as “book cover” beauty and became the full value of beauty by her actions over time. Mother Theresa never expressed herself in fashion beauty but then her life mission didn’t require that, while Princess Dianna’s did.

So don’t get caught up in the package. Go deeper and see the full picture and I guarantee you will find beauty within and by noticing it you allow it to bloom even brighter!

The next time you find yourself critically judging your appearance STOP and remember there is more to you than that “bad haircut” or whatever you are judging yourself about. Begin listing all the qualities you possess you are proud of. Count your blessings instead of your wants. Do this in front of the mirror and before you know it you will see the beauty that you truly are shine forth from the sparkle in your eyes!

One of my favorite authors calls this sparkle “Soul Shine” which is exactly correct. So get your Soul Shine up to full power before you leave for your day and I guarantee your energy will soar and your day will be as beautiful as you are!!

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach


Are You Getting What You Want?

I had a professor in college who was a bit of smart aleck and one of his favorite phrases was “Happiness is wanting what you get, not getting what you want.” He used this quite frequently when giving us weekend assignments. I know this phrase is around with other additions but at that time in college I had never heard it before and I thought it was just plain stupid. Time Out

I have come to reconsider my young adult-self’s opinion and I believe my life experience is the reason. I am not sure when inspiration struck but one day while pondering this phrase I decided to give it at try. I thought what if I just said “thank you” for whatever happened? What if I found something to like in what was occurring? This is somewhat like what the character Pollyanna does with her “glad game” but with a twist.

When I know what I am hoping to achieve – what I would consider  the “success” of my objective – and I don’t get the results I wanted,  I will stop and look at what DID happen and ask myself how was getting “this” giving me what I wanted? And surprisingly enough I found in each scenario how I was getting what I wanted at least in the “end result” of my goal.

You see we say we want something, like a new home with specific items, or a new car in a particular color and style and when something else happens we get upset. For instance you are saving for your dream car. You have it all picked out when one day your company transfers you to New York City where having a car is more trouble than benefit. You are frustrated because you didn’t get your wish and you had worked hard for it. BUT – and in life there is always a “but” – you did get your end result/goal. Ask yourself what was the reason you wanted the car? You might find it was because the brand make and model had an excellent safety record, or was reliable or was comfortable. Perhaps it was a “green” car and good for the environment and your pocket book by using less gas. The reasons behind our wishes are what we want to focus on here. So getting the job in NYC just happens to be within walking distance to your home and if it is raining your building has a car service to drive you. So right there you have reliable transportation, comfort and good for the environment and you get to where you are going in style….NYC style.

I recently created a wish list of what I wanted to have happen for my life before a big family event. I didn’t achieve a single one of my wish list items specifically but I did get the end result I had been working for. The energy, feeling and health I needed were all there for me when the big day came. And when I looked at my list of “wants” the reason for each one was what I received even if the specific way I thought it would play out was different. This event is now one of my happiest memories ever!!

So the next time you find yourself unhappy for frustrated with the way your life is moving along, stop and ask yourself…

  • What exactly did I want or hope would happen?
  • Why did I want it play out this way?
  • What result was I hoping to achieve?
  • What feelings did I want to have?
  • Just what is my “happy end result?”
  • Next look at what DID happen and see if you did receive your “core reasons” after all
  • If not then ask yourself “how does what DID happen benefit me?” It might be a next step toward your master goal.

You might find that you did get at least part of what you wanted after all.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach


Awareness – Acceptance – Action

Living with others can be a daily challenge. Even living with just ourselves can be a challenge – some days we drive ourselves crazy! The “Three A’s” tip is the one thing I know that works every time I need help getting my life back on track. This is how it works…

Living on Auto-PilotUsually when I am having a “bad day” or am supremely irritated with and event, person or situation if I can remember “The Three A’s” I will be able to bring sanity to my mind and restore my energy. The first step is to stop and notice what is actually bothering me. I may need to go deeper than my first thought to get to full Awareness of the situation. For instance say I am mad at the delay at the doctors office. At first I might think it is because I am a busy woman and don’t have time to waste at the doctors. But if I go deeper and ask “what else is this about for me?” I might come up with an inner wound that got triggered by this event and if I take the time to clear it I am not bothered anymore.

Or perhaps I might ask “what is causing this to happen-is there a good reason for this delay at this time?” With this question I have achieved #1 Awareness – I am now fully aware of my situation and the doctor event, and I have moved to #2 Acceptance of what is going on in the moment. Then #3 Action – almost happens by itself as I get up and ask the front desk receptionist what might be the reason the doctor is late. It is here that I learn he witnessed a car accident on his way into the office and is providing emergency care to the wounded.

The funny thing about The Three A’s (which I think originate from the AA 12 set program) is that most of us want to just jump to #3 Action without getting fully clear and Aware of what the REAL problem is and this just doesn’t work out well in the long run. Most of us don’t take the time to become fully Aware and we really don’t like Acceptance. Nope. Not for me we say! It’s “their fault” we say and all this does is dis-empower us as we attempt to solve the part of this scenario that is our problem.

To paraphrase the wise Hawaiian therapist Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len; if you see it, notice it and feel it then some part of the problem is yours to solve – you share responsibility. And “responsibility” means responding-with-ability  a very self-empowering action!

So the next time you find yourself upset or annoyed and the immediate solution doesn’t occur to you –  stop and see if you can apply the Three A’s to assist you. Chances are the right action is not occurring to you  because you don’t know what the “real” problem is or you know what it is and are not able to accept it. Remember Acceptance does NOT mean approval – it just means right here and right now you can see that “this issue” is occurring, and in the next moment something else will occur. So get over it, above it, beyond it by becoming fully Aware of it, Accepting it, and working with it to solve “this issue” with full awareness  and empowered Action. Good luck!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Computer Personal Space

It never occurred to me that there was such a thing as Computer Personal Space, which if funny considering our computers are called “personal” computers-ha! I also noticed recently once again that it seems we have to lose something before we know we miss it or need it. There is an old 1970’s song “Big Yellow Taxi” by Joni Mitchell about this…

Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got
‘Til it’s gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
Computer SpaceHow you set up your personal computer is very “personal”  and quite likely there are no two set-ups out there in the offices of the world. We get attached to our set-up and just expect it to be in place when we boot up. However when you go to add a new program or a program you already use does an update then what you are used to seeing will change and possibly cause you to grumble. I know every time Yahoo changes their email it messes with my calm. Another way our personal computer space is messed with is when you innocently download something you wanted only to find you got junk with it that you most definitely didn’t want! Things such as a virus or advertising material that was attached and you didn’t realize it. This is an invasion of your personal space-one we all have to defend against from time to time.

I am sure most of us like to boot up our computers and find the screen the way we left it. You don’t need 10 tool-bars but have you ever noticed everyone wants you to use their tool bar or their search engine? I mean COME ON!! Enough already! We used to get junk mail in our mailboxes. It was fairly easy to identify what it was but on the internet the junk “mail” takes a different form and is cleverly disguised. We have to be in a constant state of awareness and keep ourselves up to date or we will get caught in the trap so many links have in their downloads.

Being human I tend to finally realize and appreciate what I like only when it is taken from me. I also learn best when I have made a mistake (darn). I am finally making use of this pattern and these days when I make make a mistake and lose something I  get the message my inner wisdom is trying to tell me; which is slow down and take a break. Once my energy is restored I am ready to learn something new. I learned the hard way that there is nothing free on the internet. Those free links come loaded with ads that will embed in your system and take over if you are not careful. The road of hard knocks just taught me (after I accidentally downloaded 188 malicious malware) that first I should always choose “custom” download because this way you can avoid all the extras you never wanted in the first place, then “save” any download link not “run” it. Next I should do a virus scan on it which is as simple as a right click and is done in minutes. Once it’s all the way you want it and has no virus then add it to your computer. In this way you have personal empowerment over the vast internet traps that lay in wait for the unsuspecting visitor.

I know how to handle furniture sales people, installers, carpenters, contractors, delayed deliveries and painters but I really have a lot to learn about the internet and computer business. Once I saw it as one of the personal space dimensions I could clearly see how to deal with it all. Go slow, keep your eyes open, follow your hunches, make sure you are not stressed or tired so you can be fully present before proceeding, and know beyond a doubt that no matter how pushy these promoters are you get to have it your way…it’s your personal computer space after all!!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Self-Conscious Challenges

I wrote about feeling self conscious recently because I was experienceing a work environment that was a bit distracting. But the sensation of feeling “self-conscious” actually comes from within us not from our environment. It originates from our thoughts and beliefs about the environment. Often our thoughts and beliefs are subconscious and are driven by the internal voice we all have that just won’t shut up.” This is not 9-6-11 Mom's Sedona Birthday (36)the Inner Voice of our Heart/Soul Space but the collection of all the “should-can’ts- don’ts” that we have heard throughout our lives. If you stop to listen and note the things being played on a contiguous loop in your mind you might even be able to name who told you that; such as a school teacher, a sibling or a parent. You can then go deeper and acknowledge that they may believe that statement but you don’t. Then you can consciously choose to “let it go” – I love using bubbles or balloons to symbolize the letting go of an old sub-conscious belief. It makes the process fun and adds humor which is always good medicine. 🙂

Every now and then I get judgmental about how others “see” me or what they are thinking about me and my actions. Now how in the world can I even know what others see or think? I can’t! I am not behind their eyes or in their mind. Unless they say something or I get a non-verbal reaction I simply have no clue as to what they are thinking and yet I “go there” and have this crazy conversation in my head and before long I don’t feel very good.

I did it the other day. I am trying to stop and laugh at myself when I do this and it usually works but Tuesday was difficult. This is my crazy story…see if you can relate.

I had discovered on Monday that the spot I have to park my car while at my temporary job leaves it in the west sun by 5:00 when I leave. Now this is Phoenix, Arizona and we are at 110 degrees by then, so my seat, arm rest and steering wheel were too hot to touch! My 1999 RAV 4 does not have tinted windows.

So the next day I grabbed a bath towel in the color of my car and hung it in my window which now blocks the west sun from cooking my seat and steering wheel. Good fix, right? But I can see my car from the receptionist desk and this is a nice place – a design center – and suddenly I feel like people are judging me and my car. It looks okay and most Arizonans are fine with this behavior but I have been judging myself all day over it.

So what did I do? Did I stop the Monkey Mind judgment voice or listen to it, take the towel down, and have a blazing hot car when I go home?

I’ll tell you. I choose to ignore this insane voice (which originates from an older sister) and to laugh at it. I also have a crazy refrain that keeps popping up now that I am almost 60 years old (one year to go) and that is “I’m too freaking old to care about this anymore” lol What this means is that I know better now. I know from years of experience doing the self-judgement voice that most people don’t know, see or care about me and how I look or what I am doing. Most people are so self-absorbed (like I am being with my self-criticism) to even be aware of me and my little idiosyncrasies.

Tips For Healing Our Self-Judgmental Voice

  • Stop and listen to it – write down what was said
  • Ask yourself if you believe this anymore
  • Ask yourself who gave you this belief – then write under it “I forgive you” which means you know they were doing the best they could and you are now letting go of their words – “forgive” means to give-up.
  • Next, find a way to symbolize letting go of the belief. You can carry bubbles with you and visualize them leaving as you blow a bubble.
  • If you wrote it on paper, you could rip it into shreds and toss it where it will be out of your house. You can flush it if it is tiny, or safely burn the paper and visualize the thought/belief disintegrating into thin air.

It’s not easy catching our thoughts, so when we do it really helps if we take a moment to examine them. Feeling good is an internal job, one we can all make a priority. How do you handle the self-judgmental voice? Share your story and how you solved it – we all learn together this way.

’till next time
Your Personal Space Coach

Feeling Self-Conscious

Feeling self-conscious is quite common for most of us from time to time. However the way we handle self-consciousness can vary greatly. When some feel that tingle of being watched or judged it makes them angry, others just brush it off. I imagine a sociopath barely feels it at all since their conscience mechanism appears to be turned off completely. I can’t know how another feels or what causes them to have that sensation of discomfort… and it is an uncomfortable feeling to be sure, but I do have some tips for managing it. Ginger at Work

I have it right now as I write this blog. I am doing some temp work that only requires phone answering and I was encouraged to keep myself busy unless they found work for me. So I take this time to focus on my writing.

The reason I am self conscious today is because I am sitting in a “bird cage” type of reception desk. Except for the desk in front of me I have nothing solid as an anchor…no walls and no roof to speak of since this is a showroom and the ceiling is two stories up with floor to ceiling windows.  I have people moving around me on all 4 sides. They either walk in front as they enter the building, or walk along side of me down the aisle to my right or up the winding open staircase. But the most disturbing part is that there is a desk right behind me where my temporary boss sits. This is also where everyone comes to make copies and since I am not looking that direction I get startled each time they show up. Or they come directly behind me to get files. This is a Feng Shui nightmare of an office to be sure. lol

Yet, I am enjoying my time here. I have mastered my self-consciousness.

I have learned over the years to enhance my energy field before I even leave my home and I have special steps I take when I get to the work place I am visiting. Since my Home Space fully empowers me, my energy leaving the house is strong enough to support me as I go out into the world.

Tips On Enhancing Your Energy Field in Public-

This starts before you leave the comfort of your Home Space. Basically you want to “arm” your Body Space with good vibrations before you head out.
  1. Wear clothes that make you feel good, the colors that make you feel attractive and the shoes and clothes that are most comfortable
  2. Bring items from home that empower and comfort you – for me it is the supplies I need to to the job for the day plus my favorite snack foods.
  3. Once on location set up your work station with a few items that make you feel “at home.” Today I have my personal coffee mug and thermos full of Starbucks coffee. … a favorite covered water bottle and my favorite ink pen.
  4. I filled the empty desk drawer next to me with my reading, writing and art supplies.
  5. I am obviously on-line but I went into the system using Google’s Incognito system so my browsing won’t be stored. I do this both for myself and for the receptionist whose computer I am using. She want’s her favorites to pop up when she returns,not mine.
  6. Next I take the first alone moment I can get at my desk and I begin to reinforce my energy field with visualization techniques. I start by focusing my attention on my heart and “see” the light inside expand until it surrounds me about 15 feet. This not only sends a blessing of support to me – it also blesses all whom I encounter should they be open to this positive energy.

If you happened to see Gandalf in the first “Lord of the Rings” movie when he was fighting off the Bellroc, then you can visualize what I am doing. I “see” a white ball of brilliant light all around me. This ball of light is something we all have (our aura) and it is centered in our Heart Chakra. For some they feel is just below the heart in the Sacral Chakra area. Basically it is our Soul Space energy which is always with us. Being conscious of this energy makes it expand. For me I have personalized this energy and call it my “love bubble” which I re-empower each morning in my “Bookend Routine” practice I do to maintain strong energy all day long. (see other blog titled “Book-ending Your Day”)

Okay. So now I am empowered and ready to have a wonderful day. It’s all up to me. No matter what goes on here I have my energy up and ready to go. I know this system works for me so if you try it out let me know how it works for you.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Home Away From Home

Having our Home Space decorated, organized and maintained in the manner that serves us best is vital to our happiness and well being; not only in our home but in our day-to-day life as well. I tend to travel a great deal as I often take contract temp jobs to supplement my income. Some weeks I travel to a different office every day. I also love taking short day trips or close to home “stay-cations.” No matter where I go whether it is for a single day or an Home Officeovernight stay, I need to feel empowered and comfortable so this means I need to have a solid hold on what it takes to make me feel “at home” away from home.

I have a little practice I do before I go on a trip or to work at a temp job. I learned the hard way that if I don’t prepare I will miss something that I need because I have taken it presence for granted. This happens  because I am so used to having whatever it  is handy in my home or home office space. Live and learn. These tips work for going on vacation or for any other time you are taking up space in a temporary environment.

Tips to Being  “At Home” on Location-

  • Grab a notebook and pen
  • Get quiet in a room by yourself where you can concentrate
  • Sit in a comfortable chair and visualize your time away from home in your mind
  • Using the notebook I will go through my days activities, listing what I may encounter such as…”cold office, casual jean dress code” or  if it is a vacation I will list the days and events like “afternoon tea, amusement park rides etc.” This activity list will start the process of prompting my mind to know what I might need to be comfortable in each kind of environment
  • Next I begin to list the items I’d like to have handy that are usually found in my home (like the chair pillow, tissues, hand cream etc)
  • I will break up my time in three parts  – Morning, Day and Evening for vacation or for a job I call it Snacks, Lunch, Misc needs

This actually takes more than one session to get correctly because we really do tend to just assume what we need will be “there” for us because we make sure it is in our homes. I have found that once I am focused on the away-time list I will think of things as I go through my day and jot them down.

For my temp jobs I have a notebook and a section for each of the companies I do repeat work for and the list of what I need for each job. I also have a general list of needs. Having done this once and updated it when needed I don’t have to do the visualization tip anymore. I have it covered. It’s only when a new element is introduced that I have to readjust. Then the day or night before I am to leave for a job or vacation I gather everything up even pre-pack it if I can. I will also leave myself a list of last minute items to add on my refrigerator just in case I have to leave in a rush.

I know a few frequent travelers who actually purchase duplicates of what they need so their traveling suitcase stays partially packed and ready for the next trip. This reminds me of William Wrigley Jr. of the Wrigley gum fortune. We have a Wrigley mansion in Phoenix , AZ where I live and once when I was on a tour of the mansion I learned he had about 5 of these homes all over the world, designed and decorated the same so he and his family would feel at home no matter what location in the world they were visiting.

I hope this helps you the next time you need to make a satellite location your “home away from home.”

till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

STOP Time Activities

I know the title of this one might sound nuts…. if we are stopping then doesn’t that mean we are not doing any activity? Well yes, and no. Even just sitting still is an activity, and it’s one most of us don’t value or practice enough. From childhood on we get scolded for “just sitting there doing nothing” or “wasting time” etc. Have you ever had this happen to you?

Pain ReliefWhat I find curious is how in the world can you ever “waste” time? Time is. What you are doing during it can’t be eliminated so it can’t be wasted. What I think is really being said in that statement is “I don’t understand what you ARE doing and this makes me uncomfortable so I am going to try to stop you.” This is why STOP time is best done alone in room by yourself. But it’s not necessary. You can stop and “day-dream” or people watch or whatever any time and anywhere.

I find that STOP-time is a refueling time, even if I am not eating. It refuels my energy reserves. Gives me time for my thoughts to catch up with me.

So during the STOP session of your Book-ended Day Routine you get to do whatever you want. I do a mixture of things from just watching the wind blow the leaves in my trees to writing out my thoughts in my journal. Sometimes I listen to music and other times I will meditate.

For my daily routine on the days I work I tend to keep my Book-end Routine short and I make sure to give my day an energy boost. I will expand my inner light energy and see my days activities going as planned and then I add in how I want to feel during this day. There are many practices I have tried over the years; meditations, visualizations, affirmations, mirror work, EFT and others. Any one of them might be what I do in my 15 minutes. I simply “check-in” with my inner wisdom and do what comes naturally.

Once my time is up, or I feel I am ready for my day, I wrap it up and go about my day. At night I do a review section and possibly create a plan for the next day but usually I just write out what I was grateful that day so I end the day on a appositive note.

What do you find yourself doing now that you have developed a daily practice of STOP-ing to restore and rebuild your energy?

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Empty Nest Report

Earlier this year I mentioned that I was going through the process of having an “empty nest” – that phenomenon that is unique to the Baby Boomer generation. I say “unique” because this didn’t happen as often to the older generations since they didn’t live as long. I decided to look up the term on Google and oh boy is there a ton of information! In fact there is such a thing as… “Empty nest syndrome… which according to Wikipedia…is a feeling of grief  and loneliness parents or guardians may feel when their children leave home for the first time, such as to live on their own or to attend a college or university. It is not a clinical condition.”  I couldn’t find a particular person who coined this term, but the term began sometime in the 1970’s, which coincides with the aging (vs. mid-life death) of the Baby Boom generation.

1-1-12 family holiday (25a) Yellow Submarine family!I find this fascinating and somewhat comforting which is why I do this kind of research. It’s nice to know I am not the only one going through this grieving/transition/adjustment period. I can learn from others success and also add my own wisdom as I go through the process. I see this as a “helping hand-up” of anyone who cares to listen. For each of us who will go through this period of adjustment the process will be unique, so to share our story not only helps us but might help another lighten their load.

One of the most helpful things I have heard was the fact that many women who are post menopausal and empty nesters are finding a new freedom, new energy and a rebirth of life unlike any they have known before. I am finding this as well. It’s as if I am 17 again starting off on the adventure of leaving home and starting college only this time I have financial backing (savings, home etc) and I have wisdom gained! If only I could contact “past Ginger” and tell her not to be so afraid; that things really will work out. But alas all I can to do is live forward and make sure I apply all the skills I have had the benefit of learning.

So as I find myself starting month four of my “empty nest” adventure, I present here what I hope will be a helpful report to others….

  • The grieving period has passed!
  • It was kind of fun how that happened. I have never had grief leave in this fashion before. As I began to move my items around the house taking up all the space for the first time instead of a closet here or a cupboard there, I felt sadness briefly, then giddy at being able to spread out.
  • Then as I witnessed my two children thriving in their separate lives I began to feel like I had achieved a great feat- like a graduation. I mean after all, I was always raising them to leave home….a fact I often told them as I “trained” them to wash their own clothes, dishes and how to drive a car. So goal achieved!
  • I also discovered that by embracing the grieving it processed faster! It’s important to grieve when major change occurs. That is how we shift gears, release the old and open a space for the new. Then as soon as I could, I began to find what about this new change I was grateful for and this opened the space for a new dream.
  • My space has shifted. I am stretching out and a new dream is forming!!

… to be continued. Life is an ever changing adventure after all!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©