Make “Friends” With Your Room

Instead of just moving stuff into a room because it “fits” I recommend that you first take a moment to “make friends” with the space you want to decorate.

Step One-Visualize:
Sit quietly in the room you are planning to decorate and ask yourself the questions below. As you review these questions write down your answers in your Personal Space Journal (see blog post for details.) While you answer these questions be sure to make note of any other questions that come to mind and jot them down. The clearer you are on what you want and why you want it, the easier it will be for you to find success.
• What purpose was this room designed for originally?
• How would I like to use this room?
o List the activities you will do in this room. (Such as watching TV, cooking, reading etc.)
• Do these activities require any specific furniture or floor plan design?
o Electronics may require special outlets, or art may need to be protected from sun or shelving is needed for books or a pool table needs extra space.
o Are there any special lighting challenges?
• Who will use this room the most?
o Get feedback on your design ideas from anyone who will be using the room but make the final choice yourself.
• What colors would I like to have in this room?
• What textures do I like? (Such as glass, crystal, wood, stone, brick or iron work.)
• What do I want for the flooring? (Carpet, wood, tile, vinyl)
• What do I want for the walls? (paint, molding, wallpaper)
• What is the style I want to have in this room?
• What do I already have for this room?
o List what is there
o List what is needed
• If this is a redecorating project make a list of “keep” – “release” – “need new”

Step Two: Rough Sketch of Your Vision

• Using your list from above create a rough sketch using simple circles, rectangles, and squares to position where you want your furniture to be.
• Label each item with a simple name – “new sofa” “green chair” etc
• Remember to consider room to walk around so leave space where needed in your sketch (I’ll teach you how to do a simple floor plan in future posts)

Now that you have a general idea of how you want to use the room and what items you need to purchase our next step will be to clarify your vision. Check out next Tuesdays Tips for doing a “Personal Scavenger Hunt.”

‘till next time,
Ginger- Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Find Your Personal Colors

Having the right color scheme can make all the difference between creating a room that is just okay, to one that simply sparkles. And who is to say which color is “right” anyway? You are that’s who!!

When you choose a color scheme that gives you energy and happiness, it will follow that others who enter the room will pick up on this vibration. It may not be the design or color they would choose for themselves but they will be able to recognize the feeling of harmony and symmetry the room exudes. This is why you can visit restaurants, resorts and other environments decorated in a style you would never choose for your home decor, yet you enjoy being in these rooms. Simply put, they work because the person behind their creation loved the finished room themselves.

The rooms of our home reflect who we are inside. And just as with a charismatic person whose dynamic energy draws everyone at a party toward them, so too the rooms we decorate can have this dynamic pull as well – and it’s opposite if we are not careful with our space. Create what you love, care for and tend to your home space and it will translate good vibrations to all. So the “right” color scheme is the one that makes you feel good. Personal Colors

If you feel hesitant to put color on your walls or use bold color fabrics here is a step that will help you find your best colors. You will need a notebook (your Personal Space Journal) a pen and your clothes closet.

Find Your Personal Colors:

  1. Look over your wardrobe and notice what colors you see – list them in your notebook
  2. Next group similar colors together- does one color stand out as the one you wear the most? Jot down the number of outfits you have in each color (all shades of a color go together)
  3. Pick your favorite 3-5 outfits and write down why you like these most.
  4. Stand before a mirror with good lighting – hold them up under your chin and notice how they affect your complexion. Typically our “power” colors will make our skin look smooth and pink, and the colors that our not in our palate will make our skin look sallow and cause every blemish or purple shadow to stand out.
  5. Notice what colors are not in your closet. Do you know why? It could be because you might love the color and it might look good on you but it feels too flashy, or feminine or some other reaction pops up. Just notice and write it in your journal

So here is the point I am trying to make; fill the rooms of your home with the colors you love to wear. For example; maybe the color taupe washes out your completion so you stay away from wearing that color. Well, be sure to stay away from taupe in your room decor as well. Never decorate with a color you wouldn’t wear on your body, at least not the dominate colors. Accent colors can be colors you wouldn’t wear, but never the large surfaces such as large upholstered items,  wall color or flooring color. You won’t feel good in those rooms any more than you would if you were wearing that color on your body.

Keep reading for more tips on color. If you have any questions write me a note and I’ll be sure to cover it in my posts. Thank you for reading my blog!!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©


Shared Space

When we are out in public our Personal Space goes with us and it engages others. This combined area of Personal Space interaction is what I call Shared Space. We actually live most of our daily life in Shared Space which is why it is crucial that we create a supportive environment in our private Home Space so we can remain anchored as we engage the world.

The trick to managing yourself in the world of Shared Space is to remember what your kindergarten teacher taught you all those years ago…”take turns and share!” There is a behavior change required while in the Shared Space environment. When by yourself you can sing as you drive and no one will care, you can cook using smelly cheese, and no one will complain, and you can tap your pencil all you want in your private office, and no one will be annoyed. But in Shared Space you need to curtail some of your natural desires and tendencies all while remaining empowered. Sounds like a magic trick doesn’t it? Kind of impossible, you say. How can I be powerful if I am compromising and bending to the will of others? Copy of iphone pics 5 119

It’s simple! The answer to this is the whole point of what Personal Space Coaching is all about. You see, it’s ultimately you yourself who will be your “coach” in this self-empowerment journey. Once you discover the energy boosting tips and tricks I have to show you, and implement the ones that make sense to you, you will find yourself so anchored and so centered in your true self that your personal power will remain in full strength no matter what environment you find yourself in. You will be like a deeply rooted willow tree; strong, and tall, yet able to bend with the wind and not snap in two.

A key ingredient to getting along well with others is my Shared Space Guideline.
To thine own self be true
Doing unto others as you would have them do unto you

I am sure you can tell where the Shared Space Guideline comes from; Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” and The Golden Rule. You might think this is a little simplistic but there is a reason for that. It is simple but powerful; easy to remember and apply as you engage the world. However sometimes I still I get caught up in the human drama going on around me and when this happens this is what I do to return to center and find my balance…

1. Stop and Pause – take a break from what is going on
2. Apply the Shared Space Guideline to the situation and ask these questions:
 Am I being true to myself and what I really need?
 Am I staying in my business or am I “minding” someone else’s business?
 Am I invading another’s space and stepping on anyone’s toes?
 Have my rights been violated?
 Is there a way for this to be a “Win-Win” for each of us?
 Ask “What would it take” …(fill in the blank with your desired outcome)
 Then listen to your inner wisdom and take the inspired action you receive

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and how it works for you. Leave me a comment.
“till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©

True Personal Power

Today I’ll conclude my Starbucks observations by reviewing the behavior of everyone in the room, including the “silent” party; the staff at Starbucks.

If this were a full service restaurant you can bet that the staff would have been in charge of the table placement, and if a problem such as this one occurred it would have been handled by management. The lady by the window would have felt she had an intermediary to ask help from if she wanted to. Or the staff would have been monitoring the room and taking care of the guests. Copy of My Old Starbucks (12)

However Starbucks is more of a self-serve establishment. They make your beverage, keep the place clean and will arrange the furniture each evening back to their default design plan but they don’t really get involved with the guests in the room; although if asked they will be happy to help. Even so, a self-empowered employee who valued their work might take it upon themselves to monitor the room, and step forward and resolved this situation. Since this rarely happens it is up to each person to maintain their space the way they need it to be.

If the lady by the window had felt fully empowered I believe she would have spoken up, asked for help from the staff at Starbucks. If she was self-empowered but didn’t want to deal with the hassle this caused, she might choose from a place of power to get on with her day and leave. Since she did leave I have no idea if it was a powerful choice or a victim choice. Her posture had the look of being imposed upon so I suspect she felt dis-empowered. Only she will ever know for sure.

If the two ladies at the table had felt fully empowered they would have looked around the room first then made their table choice more comfortable for all involved by moving the table or choosing the other two chairs (another couple came in later and did just that.)
You might say but they were powerful, they moved in on that window lady and didn’t budge. Nope. That’s not power. True power is polite, open, expansive and loving. Their decision to ignore the discomfort of the window lady, consciously or unconsciously was a selfish choice which is not empowered. Selfishness actually comes from feeling inferior and is similar to bully behavior which also comes from feeling inadequate. Neither of which are empowered even if they appear to be on the surface.

Well, I hope my Starbucks Personal Space observation has whetted your appetite to notice more of what goes on around you in your daily life and thereby become more empowered. Explore this website further for tips and tricks I have learned that will enhance the energy of your total Personal Space expression; your home, your soul, your body and your life.
Let me know what you think…

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©

Do You Live on Auto-Pilot?

Let’s continue the topic of my last two blogs and today let’s look at the actions of the two women who sat at the large square table in the middle of the room.

From what I shared the original post “Coffee Space Invaded,” I bet most of you thought what they did was “rude” behavior; I know I did at first. What else could possibly have been going on for them that they were oblivious to the woman by the window? I say oblivious because I saw nothing in their attitude that suggested deliberately rude behavior. They were simply clueless to the options they could have taken to give the woman by the window space. Nonverbal communication can tell us more than verbal and I saw no smug expressions, no postures of superiority, and no deliberate stares to make the lady by the window uncomfortable. All I saw was a self-contained cocoon of oblivion to the rest of the room.

All of this suggests they came to the table already deeply involved in the topic of conversation they were having.
• Perhaps it was a life or death topic like an illness.
• Maybe they hadn’t seen each other is years and couldn’t wait to catch up.
• One of the women could have been hard of hearing in one ear so they had to sit in the position they choose to communicate.
• Perhaps they were not Americans and to sit that close was not an issue in their native culture.
Living on Auto-Pilot

The point I want to make today is that we just don’t know! But that doesn’t stop us from believing and acting as if we do know. We will believe what we want and not even (usually) question our thoughts. What we choose to believe about what we encounter happening around us can either make us happy or make us sad or not even cause a blip on our personal radar (aka be as oblivious as the two women) it’s our choice completely. I wonder if we are making that choice consciously and powerfully or are we on auto-pilot; quick to judge and cast blame instead of offering help and solutions?
For my part I was thrilled to be seeing my favorite subject in action. I love observing how people react in public. This was an example of what happens in what I call “Shared Space.” Personal Space still exists within Shared Space but the dynamics are different. When we are in Shared Space we are called upon to use the personal power we have amassed. If our personal power is insufficient to deal with the events of life, we will feel it as pain of some kind.

As an act of self-loving kindness, the next time you feel pain from an event you experienced, stop when you can take the time and review it. By doing this you will gain insight and clarity and quite possibly boost your own personal empowerment as a result. Consciousness is power.
Next time I’ll conclude my Eye Witness review by looking at the behavior of the Starbucks staff.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©

Coffee Space Invaded!

I was working on a project last week at my local Starbucks when I watched a personal space scenario unfold.
Square Table Two women came to sit at the large square table which is normally in the center of the room, but instead was extra close to the window tables. Instead of sitting opposite from each other, they sat diagonal to each other. And instead of sitting in the two locations farthest from the woman next to them at a smaller round table by the window, they sat in the two seats closest to her so that the second lady when she sat down was directly facing the window woman with barely 18″ of space between them. This became obvious to her as she lowered herself into her chair saying self-consciously “Oh, I’m in your space aren’t I?” But instead of changing to the chair on the opposite side of her friend (which would have given the window lady her space back), she just scooted her chair 6″ away, then began to engage her friend in an animate conversation.

I watched as the woman at the window (who had said nothing at all) stiffened, squirmed and shifted in her chair and within 10 minutes she got up and left.

Next, another woman sat at the window table. Starbucks was packed and no other spot was open. She picked the other chair across from the one the first window lady had been in, which was right next to the “space invading” lady. They were practically shoulder to shoulder for a moment when the square table lady sensed an invasion to her space and shifted her seat away a few inches.

Even though this new lady had a better space created for herself, she only lasted in that spot long enough to notice a different spot open up. She got up quickly with here drink and moved leaving that small table open. No one sat there again until the two talkative women left.
Later I looked up from my work only to find a whole new group of people arrive to sit down at the square table, and wouldn’t you know it, they shifted the square table away from the round window tables two feet to gain greater comfort for both themselves and the pair at the window.

My Summary:
I am always amazed when I watch how people take up space and I often wonder if they are even aware of what they are doing. I wonder if that first scenario put a damper on the woman’s day and she didn’t even know why? If she had been self-empowered she could have asked the two at the square table to please shift the table over. But seldom do I witness this. Usually we just move out instead of declaring what we need to strangers. Yet both groups would have been more comfortable with the bold clarification. The two chatty ladies hardly had any privacy for their conversation sitting so close.

Well, perhaps one day we will all get it that we have a right to take up space and get our needs met and we can be bold about it while still respecting the space of those around us. We do this in two ways… first by being aware and asking for what we need and second by being aware of and courteous to the needs of others.

So, what would you have done if you were the lady by the window who had her space invaded? It’s something to think about. If you have an “eye-witness” story to share I’d love to hear it.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©