Public Power Spots

Sheldon's spot

There are examples all around us of people claiming their Public Power Spots – those spaces in public or “shared space” that make us feel more comfortable. From choosing a favorite chair and desk at work to the seat you pick when going out for dinner, we all have preferences that we tend to lean toward and feel better when we are able to claim them.

A funny example you may have seen comes from the funny TV show The Big Bang Theory. In almost every episode we see where the character “Sheldon Cooper” has laid claim to a particular spot on the couch and won’t let anyone else sit there. I don’t recommend that we go this psycho in our creation of our own Public Power Spot but it serves as a funny example of what “taking up space” can look like. TV character Sheldon has definitely declared his right to exist, but unlike Sheldon, we want remember to keep our sense of humor if our space is invaded….especially when we are really dealing with “shared space” and not true private space.

                       Leonard: (shouted to Penny as she starts to sit down) you can’t sit there!!
                      Penny: Why not?
                      Sheldon: That’s where I sit.
                      Penny: What’s the difference?
                     Sheldon: What’s the difference? In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause                       perspiration. In the summer, it’s directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the                                         television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go                       on, but I think I’ve made my point.

Have you ever felt this way about a spot you thought was yours? I find this happens to me when I attend a movie and have to get up. I make sure I leave something like a sweater to mark “my spot” because I don’t want to lose it while I go get a soda. I know whole families who have a certain section in their church where they “always” sit, and others who favor particular locations of Starbucks along with a favorite table to sit at. This is healthy human behavior; putting down territorial roots even if they are temporary. We need them for our survival and it is healthy as long as we stay flexible and know the truth – the power behind and ability to create our “roots” is actually inside each of us. The power is never “out there” and always comes from within.  We are the power in our lives, not the spot we choose to inhabit; it just helps us to expand our expression – to take up space in an outward fashion.

I’d love to hear about how you take up space in a powerful yet fair manner in the world. This is not your Personal Private Space – that one is for you alone and is in your home. No this is a kind of echo energy from that one. By taking up space for yourself in your home you will find that once you are out in the world spaces that appeal to your energy will magically appear and be open for you. From parking spots to chairs in a restaurant, Life will make perfect space for you once you declare it for yourself in your own home.
’till next time!
Ginger- Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Awareness – Acceptance – Action

Living with others can be a daily challenge. Even living with just ourselves can be a challenge – some days we drive ourselves crazy! The “Three A’s” tip is the one thing I know that works every time I need help getting my life back on track. This is how it works…

Living on Auto-PilotUsually when I am having a “bad day” or am supremely irritated with and event, person or situation if I can remember “The Three A’s” I will be able to bring sanity to my mind and restore my energy. The first step is to stop and notice what is actually bothering me. I may need to go deeper than my first thought to get to full Awareness of the situation. For instance say I am mad at the delay at the doctors office. At first I might think it is because I am a busy woman and don’t have time to waste at the doctors. But if I go deeper and ask “what else is this about for me?” I might come up with an inner wound that got triggered by this event and if I take the time to clear it I am not bothered anymore.

Or perhaps I might ask “what is causing this to happen-is there a good reason for this delay at this time?” With this question I have achieved #1 Awareness – I am now fully aware of my situation and the doctor event, and I have moved to #2 Acceptance of what is going on in the moment. Then #3 Action – almost happens by itself as I get up and ask the front desk receptionist what might be the reason the doctor is late. It is here that I learn he witnessed a car accident on his way into the office and is providing emergency care to the wounded.

The funny thing about The Three A’s (which I think originate from the AA 12 set program) is that most of us want to just jump to #3 Action without getting fully clear and Aware of what the REAL problem is and this just doesn’t work out well in the long run. Most of us don’t take the time to become fully Aware and we really don’t like Acceptance. Nope. Not for me we say! It’s “their fault” we say and all this does is dis-empower us as we attempt to solve the part of this scenario that is our problem.

To paraphrase the wise Hawaiian therapist Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len; if you see it, notice it and feel it then some part of the problem is yours to solve – you share responsibility. And “responsibility” means responding-with-ability  a very self-empowering action!

So the next time you find yourself upset or annoyed and the immediate solution doesn’t occur to you –  stop and see if you can apply the Three A’s to assist you. Chances are the right action is not occurring to you  because you don’t know what the “real” problem is or you know what it is and are not able to accept it. Remember Acceptance does NOT mean approval – it just means right here and right now you can see that “this issue” is occurring, and in the next moment something else will occur. So get over it, above it, beyond it by becoming fully Aware of it, Accepting it, and working with it to solve “this issue” with full awareness  and empowered Action. Good luck!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Computer Personal Space

It never occurred to me that there was such a thing as Computer Personal Space, which if funny considering our computers are called “personal” computers-ha! I also noticed recently once again that it seems we have to lose something before we know we miss it or need it. There is an old 1970’s song “Big Yellow Taxi” by Joni Mitchell about this…

Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got
‘Til it’s gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
Computer SpaceHow you set up your personal computer is very “personal”  and quite likely there are no two set-ups out there in the offices of the world. We get attached to our set-up and just expect it to be in place when we boot up. However when you go to add a new program or a program you already use does an update then what you are used to seeing will change and possibly cause you to grumble. I know every time Yahoo changes their email it messes with my calm. Another way our personal computer space is messed with is when you innocently download something you wanted only to find you got junk with it that you most definitely didn’t want! Things such as a virus or advertising material that was attached and you didn’t realize it. This is an invasion of your personal space-one we all have to defend against from time to time.

I am sure most of us like to boot up our computers and find the screen the way we left it. You don’t need 10 tool-bars but have you ever noticed everyone wants you to use their tool bar or their search engine? I mean COME ON!! Enough already! We used to get junk mail in our mailboxes. It was fairly easy to identify what it was but on the internet the junk “mail” takes a different form and is cleverly disguised. We have to be in a constant state of awareness and keep ourselves up to date or we will get caught in the trap so many links have in their downloads.

Being human I tend to finally realize and appreciate what I like only when it is taken from me. I also learn best when I have made a mistake (darn). I am finally making use of this pattern and these days when I make make a mistake and lose something I  get the message my inner wisdom is trying to tell me; which is slow down and take a break. Once my energy is restored I am ready to learn something new. I learned the hard way that there is nothing free on the internet. Those free links come loaded with ads that will embed in your system and take over if you are not careful. The road of hard knocks just taught me (after I accidentally downloaded 188 malicious malware) that first I should always choose “custom” download because this way you can avoid all the extras you never wanted in the first place, then “save” any download link not “run” it. Next I should do a virus scan on it which is as simple as a right click and is done in minutes. Once it’s all the way you want it and has no virus then add it to your computer. In this way you have personal empowerment over the vast internet traps that lay in wait for the unsuspecting visitor.

I know how to handle furniture sales people, installers, carpenters, contractors, delayed deliveries and painters but I really have a lot to learn about the internet and computer business. Once I saw it as one of the personal space dimensions I could clearly see how to deal with it all. Go slow, keep your eyes open, follow your hunches, make sure you are not stressed or tired so you can be fully present before proceeding, and know beyond a doubt that no matter how pushy these promoters are you get to have it your way…it’s your personal computer space after all!!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Do What You Can and Drop the Rest!

We are moving through a series of moves (pun intended) in my family as the New Year begins, (homes, and jobs) which is why my usual Tuesday/Thursday blog posts were delayed. There is simply way too much going on. And that brings me to today’s tip.

Do What You Can and Drop the Rest!

No matter what we have “planned” for our day, week, month, year or life we can only ever be doing the-next-step and sometimes what happens when we take the-next-step changes our path for a while. It’s important to have a plan in place, but be open to surrendering it to go with the flow in the moment.

When you are moving your Home Space you will find just how much this space (which most of us take for granted) really serves and supports us. I think of it like a plant being pulled up out of the ground without loosening the soil. The roots break and are exposed, and until it is set back in its new space and has time to heal and adjust to the changes, things can feel really shaky.

This energy shift is similar to a hanging wind chime mobile; when you move just one item hanging on a string, they all end us shifting. So when my daughter decided to move out and get a new Home Space of her own she started a chain reaction for herself and for me whose home she was sharing.

Moving Mess For her the “roots” of her Home Space were pulled out and placed in a new spot and trying to get everything she owns to fit and work is a major task. Then there is the adjustment of so many things you don’t realize you were used to like an electric stove vs. a gas one or windows in bathrooms vs. ceiling venting fans and the list grows. Most of what you get when you choose to move you love and the rest you adjust to.

The energy shift I am going through in my Home Space is a bit different than my daughters experience of her “roots” being disturbed. I am dealing with the “empty nest” syndrome which I will write more about as the year progresses and I discover first hand just what that is like to live through. All I can say for now is that if I am feeling a bit “wrecked” emotionally. Then I wonder…here it is for me that just two children have “flown” the nest, how did my poor mom feel when she had ten leave? Whew!! At least we are alive to experience this and for that I am grateful.

Back to my original point; moving our Home Space is so vital to our well-being that until we get things settled (which can take weeks) it’s important to cut yourself some slack and stop trying to meet all the items on your regular daily life’s “to do” list – unless they are vita. For instance eating is vital but being on a diet it not. Stretching and keeping your body loose and limber is vital but your daily exercise routine of jogging 3 miles might not be. Cut back on your usually activities and adjust as much as you can. It’s only for a few weeks and soon you will find your Home Space taking shape and that your outside life begins flowing smoothly once again.

‘till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Kudos To Christopher Walken!

I see examples of Personal Space Expression in action all the time and I find they can be quite inspiring. I love to take notice when I see someone so empowered by their authentic true self that they have no problem with stepping out into the world in a brilliant, unique, perhaps even “rock the boat” style. They are completely unconcerned with what others may think or say about them. They are content to be just who they feel they truly are. We can learn from and be inspired by their example. Christopher Walken

Case In Point:

While watching a re-run of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart  http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-january-24-2013/christopher-walken
I was thrilled to see his guest, actor Christopher Walken share how he doesn’t use or own a computer. Jon was of course stunned and amazed to hear this and asked how he could possibly survive without one…how did he get his information he asked? Through much laughter we discovered he asks his wife. Then he said that he also didn’t own a cell phone. When making a movie the director will give him one for the duration of the movie so he can be reached. As soon as he’s finished with the movie he returns the phone. He had the audience cracking up with laughter and I just bet more than one thought like I did “good for him!”

Christopher obviously listens to “the tune of a different drummer” with bold action and I for one am thrilled to hear him admit this on air for it motivates us to find our courage to dare to be different as well. Not that we want to stop surfing the web or toss out our cell phones, but that we too might have something in our lives we do to get along and conform and that we are too afraid to buck the system and say “Nope, not for me, thanks anyway.” Let’s all dare to be different, as long as it is your authentic expression, otherwise it won’t feel good to you.

Can you imagine how confident he has to be in his own self-expression, in his own place in the world (personal space) to go against the grain on the subject of mass media (internet, cell phone) and to admit it all openly on TV? That’s the kind of personal power expression I hope we all achieve. He isn’t hurting anyone because it’s true internal personal power filled with self-respect, not power over others. He compromises when he needs to in order to get something he wants and to get along with others when it’s necessary. I just bet he is so comfortable in his own skin, doing his life his way he doesn’t even question going along with something that doesn’t feel true to him. Wow!

Kudos to you Christopher Walken! You are a Personal Space Master!!

’till next time!
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

PS: if you find an example of Personal Space Expression that inspires you, please send it to me and I’ll add it to our collection.

 

 

Responsible Living

It seems everywhere I turn I find something about Personal Space going on. Today I was just shopping for a book in Amazon and saw this link, iPhone Rebate

I wish I had seen it months ago when I got a new phone. This type of activity may not seem like a “personal space” topic but let me explain. It is all about Personal Responsibility or responsible living in the Shared Space we all inhabit. I know you only have ONE old phone so no big deal if you toss it in the trash right? Well, maybe….if you were the only one with a used phone to discard. But you see we have to think sometimes in plural, not just in singular fashion. In other words look at the BIG picture = Macro versus the small picture = micro. Always keep your personal integrity in tact…this is a must; which means to do the “most loving thing for YOU” and it will end up being the most loving thing for others as well.

So does recycling your old phone to Amazon for a gift card benefit you? You bet!! Will it benefit me? You bet! I love a clean Earth and it will benefit all the plants and animals that support our life here as well. It’s a Win-Win-Win!! I also understand that these recycled items can sometimes be used to help third world countries get updated materials they normally couldn’t have afforded.

As Earl Nightingale said “Any person who contributes to prosperity must prosper in return.” Therefore when we help the planet by recycling we become more prosperous. When we help third world countries by recycling we prosper, and when we use a service like Amazon we see the prosperity first hand in the rebated money and Amazon also prospers by holding this campaign. There is no limit to the energy boost that all who work together for mutual prosperity can receive.

Responsible living is literally the Golden Rule in action…”doing unto others as you would have done unto you” and I would add that what we do to/for other we also do to/for ourselves!

So if you have the new iPhone bug or if you just happen to be in the market for a new phone please consider the various programs in place either at Amazon or your phone company or even Goodwill and recycle your old phone (once you take off all your valuable materials that is J )

Oh, if your phone is not an iPhone no worries, Amazon also have a program for other smart phones.  Pretty smart!!

“till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

Have You Claimed Your Independence?

Tomorrow is Independence Day in the United States and one of my favorite holidays. I have been working on gaining my own Personal Space independence for decades now and I use this holiday to measure my progress.

I love the whole idea of personal independence because it means we are the power in our lives. It means we don’t need anyone’s approval to go for our dreams. It means we can let go of the need for outside validation. And it means no one has to change for us to get what we want and need. We are the power in our life – this is what it means to be independent. iphone pics 6 032

We will work in better harmony with others – which we all need to do for the good of all – if we have claimed and own our personal independence. We come to the meeting with all our parts in order and can provide more value to the work we do as a team.

Personal independence reminds me of team sports; for instance let’s look at football. You have your different player designations such as kicker, quarterback, forward etc. Now each of them must work together as a team to play and win the game – the group project so to speak. But if each one of them as an individual doesn’t take their personal independence seriously and meet the obligations necessary for their strength training, proper behavior, diet etc then the whole team suffers. If they do take their independence seriously and do their best the whole team thrives.

Individual independence is doing what is needed to meet your personal dreams and purpose. Group independence is joining others of “like mindedness” to achieve a goal greater than any one of the group individually…just like the founding fathers of the United States did.

So we can see how important it is for each of us to think and act for ourselves. Its not selfish, it’s crucial. Otherwise how will we know which group to join and which efforts are for us to devote our value and talents to?

I was a robot until I was 33 years old. Then I woke up and have been gaining my independence steadily these past two decades so that now I can say I know who I am and I know what I am to be about…finally. Whew! What a journey this has been, and it’s not over yet.
I wonder what form my independence will take nest year? A bestselling book? More wonderful clients to coach? Time will tell and I will be happy to mark the occasion with a fireworks and BBQ celebration.

Happy Independence Day to all, may you find your inner power and shine it forth! And remember to Celebrate YOU!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Musical World of Diversity!

I watched a recording of the Grammy’s the other day and was amazed at the sheer variety of music they presented. I’ve watched them before and I even listen to an eclectic mix of music myself but something just clicked in me about half-way through the program as they panned over the audience.
It was filled with musicians!! Thousands of them! As I watched Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney of The Beatles perform I was reminded of how much this one band changed in their short career together.
If someone visited from another planet and were to hear “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” and then listen to “Revolution” they wouldn’t be able to tell it was the same band!

So, here is my point. The notes of music are fixed. There are 88 notes plus sharps and flats and that is it! Yet that room was filled with more than 88 versions of music diversity. The unique blend of each artist even if they sing the same song or play the same instrument is virtually endless. It’s as if those same 88 notes once filtered through each unique individual emerged reborn and totally unique!

As I listened to the new ‘”songs of the year” I couldn’t help but wonder what in the world will they come up with next?

I could see how this diversity makes sense if you consider lyrics because words are endless in their variations but the notes -not so much. People who have that talent to write and play music have something different to offer, something unique no one but they can offer. How marvelous to see a crowd of thousands and know that no two were alike; not only in their DNA and fingerprints but in how they see and hear life. And this is the difference that allows them to create such a wide range of notes and lyrics and styles of songs.

Are you a country fan? Are you a heavy metal fan? Do you like classical or jazz? No matter what you like to listen to, its unique to you and I encourage you to play all the music you want in your Personal Space and be grateful someone else dared to be unique and create the music you love.
’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach ©

Don’t Let Your Guests Invade Your Space

When it comes to entertaining friends, family or others in your home it is important to keep some space “off limits” to your guests. This important step enables you to keep your home as a place of private refuge. If you entertain often in your home and want to show off your beautifully decorated rooms, just be sure to keep some areas and items private. It’s fairly easy to do; just keep doors closed and if necessary locked as well. Hide things in a closet you don’t want others to see. Your home is not their business. This is your private home and you have every right to close off part of it for just yourself and those who live there with you. In this manner you empower yourself with respect.We all need space where we don’t have to put on a “good show” and that is what our homes are for. So keep that in mind when having people over; protect your private space and belongings. Theme Party

Tips for entertaining:

  • Center the food and entertainment in the rooms you are willing to share with the “world”
  • Most people who visit or attend your party will hover in the kitchen, so this is a key room to have read-for-company
  • Create serving stations, a bar area and seating sections
  • Use colorful flower arrangements, candles, place mats and colorful dishes to designate the party boundaries
  • Distraction is the best tool I know for keeping guests captivated so they won’t need to see “the rest of your house” but if for some reason someone really presses the issue and you just don’t want to show your private rooms make up a story about how they are being remodeled and you’ll show them later. Then reconsider if this person is someone you want in your home for future parties.
  • Sometimes we feel we must entertain in our home such as to boost our career or keep the in-laws happy. I think this is a mistake and a time to employ your personal power and creativity. Instead host a party at a favorite restaurant, resort, or park.
  • Theme driven parties will also keep guests in the designated space. The decorations help set up the “party boundaries” and make the rest of the house ‘off limits”
  • Pool party theme, Hawaiian theme, and Picnic or Al Fresco dining will keep your guests outdoors
  • Cookie Decorating or Cookie Sharing Holiday Party keeps them in the kitchen and dining room
  • Use movies or TV shows playing low in the family room to draw people there, especially if they came to watch the game.
  • Have your outdoor section set up for seating and drinks in case the party moves outdoors
  • Use music outdoors as well if it won’t bother the neighbors

The important point to remember is that this is YOUR home and no one has the right to force themselves in if you don’t want them there. Trust me, do this for yourself and your personal power will bloom!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Sheldon Cooper’s Power Spot

Once you claim your private (power) spot in your home, you will notice other places that you frequently visit will also have spots that you regularly use which are power spots for you even if they are not completely private.Sheldon's spot

There are examples all around us of people claiming their power spots. A funny example you may have seen comes from one of my favorite TV shows The Big Bang Theory. In almost every episode we see where the character “Sheldon Cooper” has laid claim to a particular spot on the couch and won’t let anyone else sit there. I don’t recommend that we go this psycho in our relationships but it serves as a funny example of what “taking up space” can look like. TV character Sheldon has definitely declared his right to exist, but unlike Sheldon, we want remember to keep our sense of humor if our space is invaded.

[easyazon_link asin=”B000W91RUG” locale=”US” new_window=”default” nofollow=”default” tag=”persspaccoac-20″]The Big Bang Theory: The Complete First Season[/easyazon_link], the pilot episode from 2007:
Leonard: (shouted to Penny as she starts to sit down) you can’t sit there!!
Penny: Why not?
Sheldon: That’s where I sit.
Penny: What’s the difference?
Sheldon: What’s the difference? In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it’s directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go on, but I think I’ve made my point.

Have you ever felt this way about a spot you thought was yours? I find this happens to me when I attend a movie and have to get up. I make sure I leave something like a sweater to mark “my spot” because I don’t want to lose it while I go get a soda. I know whole families who have a certain section in their church where they “always” sit and others who favor particular locations of Starbucks along with a favorite table to sit at. This is healthy human behavior; putting down territorial roots even if they are temporary. We need them for our survival and it is healthy as long as we stay flexible and know the truth – the power behind and ability to create our “roots” is actually inside each of us. The power is never “out there” and always comes from within. We are the power in our lives, not the spot we choose to inhabit; it just helps us to expand our expression to take up space in an outward fashion.
’till next time!
Ginger- Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©