Awareness – Acceptance – Action

Living with others can be a daily challenge. Even living with just ourselves can be a challenge – some days we drive ourselves crazy! The “Three A’s” tip is the one thing I know that works every time I need help getting my life back on track. This is how it works…

Living on Auto-PilotUsually when I am having a “bad day” or am supremely irritated with and event, person or situation if I can remember “The Three A’s” I will be able to bring sanity to my mind and restore my energy. The first step is to stop and notice what is actually bothering me. I may need to go deeper than my first thought to get to full Awareness of the situation. For instance say I am mad at the delay at the doctors office. At first I might think it is because I am a busy woman and don’t have time to waste at the doctors. But if I go deeper and ask “what else is this about for me?” I might come up with an inner wound that got triggered by this event and if I take the time to clear it I am not bothered anymore.

Or perhaps I might ask “what is causing this to happen-is there a good reason for this delay at this time?” With this question I have achieved #1 Awareness – I am now fully aware of my situation and the doctor event, and I have moved to #2 Acceptance of what is going on in the moment. Then #3 Action – almost happens by itself as I get up and ask the front desk receptionist what might be the reason the doctor is late. It is here that I learn he witnessed a car accident on his way into the office and is providing emergency care to the wounded.

The funny thing about The Three A’s (which I think originate from the AA 12 set program) is that most of us want to just jump to #3 Action without getting fully clear and Aware of what the REAL problem is and this just doesn’t work out well in the long run. Most of us don’t take the time to become fully Aware and we really don’t like Acceptance. Nope. Not for me we say! It’s “their fault” we say and all this does is dis-empower us as we attempt to solve the part of this scenario that is our problem.

To paraphrase the wise Hawaiian therapist Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len; if you see it, notice it and feel it then some part of the problem is yours to solve – you share responsibility. And “responsibility” means responding-with-ability  a very self-empowering action!

So the next time you find yourself upset or annoyed and the immediate solution doesn’t occur to you –  stop and see if you can apply the Three A’s to assist you. Chances are the right action is not occurring to you  because you don’t know what the “real” problem is or you know what it is and are not able to accept it. Remember Acceptance does NOT mean approval – it just means right here and right now you can see that “this issue” is occurring, and in the next moment something else will occur. So get over it, above it, beyond it by becoming fully Aware of it, Accepting it, and working with it to solve “this issue” with full awareness  and empowered Action. Good luck!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Creating Harmony For The Odd Couple

Do you live with someone who isn’t as neat as you are? We find this sort of situation funny in a TV show like “The Odd Couple” but in real life it can add disturbing energy to the Home Space we share with others- and that is not good for anyone.

We are each born with unique predispositions so that a “mess” to one person is perfect organization to another. I have seen homes where I couldn’t imagine how they manage, but the people are able to find just what they want instantly. They tell me it’s a matter of having what they want handy and out in the open so they don’t forget it. Moving Day

Most energy workers would frown on this type of functionality. Feng Shui the Chinese art of placement, which is thousands of years old, promotes simplicity and organization and for the most part I agree. But of course I would – I am a Virgo after all-ha! However, during my 30 plus years as a designer I have seen many instances where a mess wasn’t really a mess, and to ask the owner to clean it up would be a great disservice to their creative energy. Only the beholder of the mess knows whether it is a problem or a style of living for them. In another post I will go over how you can tell the difference but for now I want to focus on how two polar opposite types can live in harmony together.

The first thing I would advise to a couple or family that has different views on mess and order is for them to grant each person a room of their own. If that is not possible then a room they have the right to create in their particular style of messy or neat. This space becomes “sacred space” to the one it belongs to and they get to have the whole space in their style of functionality without any judgment from others. Once each person has their designated space, the rest of the home is divided between all the other members in a manner that shares styles. For instance the living room – if this is the room they entertain guests in then this space would become a mostly “neat space” so as to allow guests space to sit and visit. The TV or family room might be a blend of the two with a designated chair space for the messy one and one for the neat one. To give you an example of this check out the TV show Frasier where the dad has his scruffy chair in the pristine modern Living Room of Frasier’s loft. The two parties agree not to “mess with” the others portion of each shared room and to be responsible for their part only.

For the “community rooms” in your home – those that you share and are half messy and half neat I suggest creating special days as “cleaning days.” In my experience the messy ones frequently feel overwhelmed by their mess and perhaps in need of some TLC attention. A special cleaning day is just the ticket. On this day you set aside time for the two of you (or whole family) to clean and tidy the home together. I call this a “Cleaning Party” and that is just what you want to make it. Put on a funny TV show you all love or music while you work. Have a coke or Starbucks coffee and fun snacks. Create a plan to go room to room and assign tasks ahead of time for each member. The key here is to HAVE FUN while cleaning and bonding. In this activity the Home Space becomes YOUR Home Space and is a great harmony booster.

With a set day and time for the whole family to clean together the messy one gets the help they need and the neat one doesn’t feel that all the cleaning is on their shoulders alone and both get bonding time. Acceptance is the gift of love we give to each other and to ourselves!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach





Delete the Word Failure

I heard a quote the other day that really perked me up…
Failure is not the opposite of success, it is a stepping stone to success.” Ariana Huffington

I really like the image this projects because when you think about it there are way more stepping stones in the world than there are landing spots. If you are crossing a stream you will have a dozen or more stepping stones and just two shores. If you are walking on a stepping stone path from your car to the front door you will have at least six to a dozen or so stepping stones and only one exit and one entrance spot. Stepping Stones

Then there is the falling down along the way. This too is not an indication of failure…in fact I don’t think failure actually exists as we tend to refer to it today. Failure just means “not yet” or “pending” but those words don’t emotionally defeat us the way the word “failure” will. So perhaps we need to delete that word from our personal dictionary.

Consider an Olympic athlete. There, just that title denotes an amazing success don’t you think? Yet once they hit the big Olympic games and don’t get a medal they are considered a “failure” – how is that right? Or even a candidate for a job position who is not chosen. Didn’t they write a resume? Didn’t they dress up, show up and go through the interview process? Didn’t they also learn more about the company and the people involved in the process of applying? Information is NEVER failure and as long as we are breathing and thinking we are gathering and processing information non-stop…we are “pending” as we take action toward the success we after. I can’t tell you the number of times I have learned something crucial to my wellbeing and happiness during an interview for a job I didn’t get. I remember one time an eager beaver in the office I was applying to took it upon herself to call me to get information on whether we would be a good fit. This was not her business to do this but the fact that she did and the fact that I would be working with such a control freak made me cancel the official interview. The information her phone call gave me told me I wouldn’t like it there.

So pay attention as you are gathering information. See all your steps toward your goal as stepping stones because even when you reach the “shore” you will keep on moving and create another goal to achieve. Life is all about living after all and there is really no “getting there” just  being here right now. As Human BEINGS we need to remember this and cut ourselves some slack and perhaps delete the word “failure” from your personal dictionary.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Tips for Energizing Your Personal Core Space

At the heart of our Personal Space lies our Core Space. Our Core Space travels with us everywhere we go during our day. This is the space that identifies what it means to be uniquely you. Don’t worry if you feel lost as to just who you are for we are constantly evolving as our life grows and changes. We are periodically called upon to re-invent ourselves during the space of our lifetime. Moving away from home, getting a new job in a different city or retiring from work altogether are examples of major life shifts that might rock our boats so to speak from time to time. Establishing a dynamic Core Space involves identifying and owning what matters to you most – what you value in life. Some of what you value as a teen will be different than what you value in your 30’s but not all of it. We are born with a unique set of predispositions due to our DNA and environment so some of our values will stick with us all of our lives. Knowing how to connect with and stay plugged into your Core Space will assist you greatly though all of life’s changes.

Vision Practice ChairHaving a sense of who you are at your “core” is vital for personal empowerment. Defining your core means to identify what it means to be uniquely you. You can do this by doing some self-discovery steps. Start with where you are now and review the activities and things fill your life. This would be where you spend your time and what items you have around you to support you in all that you are doing.

Core Space Review

  • Make a list of your typical day’s activities. Just the highlights will do.
  • Then note next to each activity what space you are in when you do them; such as bathroom, kitchen, car, office etc.… You can be as detailed as you want.
  • Next jot down how much time you spend at each activity
  • Now add up the minutes or hours you spend at each location/space

What you are discovering here is twofold…

First: You are discovering how many spaces you inhabit during the day, the variety of tasks you are involved in and how much time you devote to each task/area. This information will give you the foundation to then determine how all you do is affecting your energy.

Second: You are discovering how it is that you take your personal space with you wherever you go. Part of it travels with you (the clothes, hairstyle) and part is deposited in the space you vacated for when you need it and holds your spot when you vacate the space for a time. Items on your desk for instance like pens or coffee mug.

Once you have identified where you “live” each day and can see with an objective eye what items fill these spaces, you are now ready for the next task…how much of your stuff is in your Core Space vs how much of someone else’s stuff is filling your space?

My Stuff List

List all the items that are yours alone. For instance look at your work desk; most likely the computer, desk and chair belong to the company. But there will be items around your desk for your use that are unique to you and you own them. What you own is key here because what you choose to buy or call yours will give you great insight into the kind of person you are.

Other’s Stuff List

With this list you will want to stop a moment and review what belongs to others and ask yourself if you benefit from having it in your space (such as the company desk) or if it drains your energy (such as a gift you were given but do not love)

It is important to our personal energy to only have items we love in our space but especially in our Core Spaces because love is the highest vibration of energy and you want that for yourself.

Once you have your list of items organized the next step is to remove anything that you find depletes your energy. You can give it away, toss it or even simply move it to a different space – one that is more community space and not your Core Space.

Be sure to keep your Core Spaces full of items that are personal and energizing to you and you will find your life flows more easily as a result.

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach



Do You Have a Theme Song?

All day today the 80’s song by Starship “We Built This City” has been playing a continuous loop in my head. It was the song that woke me up this morning when my alarm radio went off. They don’t usually stick like this all day long but I have noticed I frequently have a song playing in my head as I go about my day. Sometimes I wake up with songs in my head and not from the radio!  ha! But what I would LOVE to have more than anything is a theme song like Capt. Jack Sparrow had in the movie series The Pirates of the Caribbean! Pirates

From a Personal Space viewpoint it would so fun if just for a day each of us had a song playing ahead of our entrance into a room so people would know “we” were coming. Each song would be uniquely different and if they were the same tune it would be a unique version of the tune that would be all our own.

The other day I was doing major work on my townhouse going up and down the stairs and since I don’t have central music I put my cell phone on “music” and then placed it in my pocket. I got the effect of having music coming from me and I must say it was quite energizing

Now I realize that in the movies the hero or villain actor is not hearing their theme music when they act out their roll but imagine if they did – I suspect it would crack up Johnny Depp and they would have to do extra takes on the scene. Or if TV actors entering the dark alley or the haunted house could hear the warning music…why they would run for their lives-ha!

Music is vibration and vibration is energy. The music we listen to and what we hear in TV shows and movies helps to tell the story. So what is the “story” you want to tell?

Music Energy Tip:

  • Try it just for a day… ask yourself as you arrive at work “what is my theme song today?” Would it be “Hit the Road Jack” or perhaps “I’m Walking On Sunshine!?”
  • Don’t judge how you are feeling, just use the song that comes to mind to inform you.
  • If the song that matches your mood is sad, angry, or low energy see what song you wish you felt like. Play it on your cell phone and see if it doesn’t perk up your energy. This has worked for me tons of times.
  • I also deliberately use a favorite artist’s music or TV – movie theme song to set my energy for the day. For me a sure mood lifter is anything by the Jazzmasters or Paul Hardcastle  and lately I have been deliberately playing the theme song to the TV show “Enterprise” in the morning because the lyrics give me a positive boost and hopeful attitude. It’s called “Faith of the Heart” and it’s message really speaks to me.

What songs speak to you? What would be your theme song if you had one? Try listing to music deliberately to give your energy a lift and let me know how it works for you.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Right Brain Guide to Your Dream Career part 2

For the last three Tuesday Tips I have been sharing some techniques I discovered which have helped me find the job/career that I love and in this last segment we will end with the two part Visualization practice. In part one you will actually get quiet and visualize which opens your awareness, and in part two you will carry what you visualized and it’s energy with you during your day to help you become aware of the answers the Universe is sending you.

Time OutVisualization 

Sit quietly with the notepad in front of you and close your eyes…. Use your imagination and visualize yourself doing each of your favorite tasks one at a time….. Get to the place where you can feel what you are doing and how energized and happy it makes you feel….. Stay with this visualization for a few moments and be sure to allow and receive whatever comes to mind, no matter how bizarre it might seem.

When you feel the vision is done, jot down what you saw and then do the next skill (unless you saw more than one skill in the first vision)

Once you have imagined and felt each skill you will take a few deep breaths and visualize a candle flame of light in the center of your heart. Feel its warmth and comfort. Now notice how it illuminates your heart space…..”see it” expand and grow in a circle all around your heart. Take another deep breath and feel this heart light grow and expand to fill your body space…then another deep breath and surround your body in a bubble of light about 7 feet around yourself.

While in this state of expanded energy – imagine your vision again … of you doing and enjoying your desired skills and repeat this phrase I learned from Christie Marie Sheldon… “what would it take,”  and apply your desire at the end. For instance….

  • What would it take for a career/job using these skills (list them) to show up for me…
  • What would it take for me to know where to go to find a job/career I would love doing….
  • What would it take for this to happen quickly and easily for me…
  • What would it take for me to land this new career or position…

You can add any other request after the What Would It Take statement. You may not get an answer right away but stay open because it could come in an unconventional manner. Once you have reviewed your vision you can then take three deep breaths and stretch out your body. Next, write down any ting that came up in your journal.

The point of this exercise is to open you to something new, something you may not have known about or considered. Practice these statements every day and add them as your thoughts…such as when you are at your current job and hating something about it you can simply change your negative vein of thought and think “what would it take for me to love my job, or what would it take for a better job to come my way now” these statements take us up and over the problem where we can see the solution.

Now that you have awakened your Right Intuitive Brain you will want to stay aware of what happens in your life during the day. For the next week or so jot down in your journal any new ideas, or interesting coincidences that appear and see where your new expanded energy field is leading you. Stay with this until you have an answer that excites you. Then take the steps to fulfill your new inspiration.

If for some reason nothing new or exciting is happening I want you to add one more WWIT to your practice…what would it take for me to release all resistance to a new better job/career showing up for me…or what would it take for me to release all blocks to having a new better idea… you get the picture here. If you are not getting a new inspired idea to follow up on then you might be afraid or have a childhood programming that needs to be released.

If you want to know more about this technique check out Christie Marie Sheldon’s website – she is a fantastic intuitive healer and knows how to access our powerful hearts energy.

I send you many blessings of love and light as you journey to your next better career/job!

’till next time,
Ginger Marie
Your Personal Space Coach


Right Brain Guide to Your Dream Career – Part 1

In the last two Tuesday Tips I went over some steps you can take to find a career/job you love. I won’t go over them here or mention why you might want to do this (I am sure you can imagine why on your own.) For this week I want to show you how to access your Intuitive Wisdom which lives in your Soulful heart and is accessed by using your Right Brain and get connected to work you love.

For this practice you will want to get in a room by yourself where you won’t be interrupted. Have your journal or a notebook handy to write your thoughts down and then take the List of Jobs (you have held)  and the List of Skills (you have mastered) that you created last time, and while you look them over ask yourself these questions and answer them using the Free Form Writing technique. This is where you write without editing, you write fast and you write whatever comes up without any filters. It is best done by hand but you can use your computer if you wish.

Intuitive Wisdom Questions with Free Form Writing

  • If I was doing this work every day ….add in your top 5 favorite skills….. what might the job be called? Write down whatever comes up, even if its completely odd sounding a made up.
  • If I was going to create a job that used these skills….add in your top 5 favorite skills ….. what might I call it-who would this work be for….describe all that comes to you.
  • Do I know anyone (personally or famous) who is doing these skills (your top 5) on a daily basis for money? If yes, jot down who they are.
  • Now, as quickly as you can, write down any jobs that come to mind either working for someone else or as an entrepreneur for yourself that would use some or all of your favorite skills. Don’t eliminate any possibilities, don’t ask if you’d like the job and definitely don’t eliminate an idea because you don’t think you are qualified.
  • Next apply the “I wonder” phrase to your statements….such as; “I wonder where I can find a job that uses these skills,” “I wonder what a job using these skills might be called,”
  • Add any other statement you have in your mind, just start it with “I wonder” because this switches from your Left Brain which might not know the answer to your Right Brain which holds the larger more creative view of life.

For this next week you will want to monitor your language when you either think about or talk about wanting a new job. Instead of saying “I just don’t know what I want to do next,” you will add at the end just one word…”YET!” And you can also add “I wonder” to the start of your thought or statement but in case you forget, just pop in a “Yet” because this will help to keep you open. Let’s face it, if you already knew consciously what new work you wanted to do you would be doing it or going to get it…but you feel blocked. So it means something new and until now un-imagined is waiting for you, so it will take opening up your Right Brain to bring it into focus where you can see it, and go get it!

I send you many blessings of love and light as you journey to your next better career/job!

’till next time,
Ginger Marie
Your Personal Space Coach


Computer Personal Space

It never occurred to me that there was such a thing as Computer Personal Space, which if funny considering our computers are called “personal” computers-ha! I also noticed recently once again that it seems we have to lose something before we know we miss it or need it. There is an old 1970’s song “Big Yellow Taxi” by Joni Mitchell about this…

Don’t it always seem to go
That you don’t know what you’ve got
‘Til it’s gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
Computer SpaceHow you set up your personal computer is very “personal”  and quite likely there are no two set-ups out there in the offices of the world. We get attached to our set-up and just expect it to be in place when we boot up. However when you go to add a new program or a program you already use does an update then what you are used to seeing will change and possibly cause you to grumble. I know every time Yahoo changes their email it messes with my calm. Another way our personal computer space is messed with is when you innocently download something you wanted only to find you got junk with it that you most definitely didn’t want! Things such as a virus or advertising material that was attached and you didn’t realize it. This is an invasion of your personal space-one we all have to defend against from time to time.

I am sure most of us like to boot up our computers and find the screen the way we left it. You don’t need 10 tool-bars but have you ever noticed everyone wants you to use their tool bar or their search engine? I mean COME ON!! Enough already! We used to get junk mail in our mailboxes. It was fairly easy to identify what it was but on the internet the junk “mail” takes a different form and is cleverly disguised. We have to be in a constant state of awareness and keep ourselves up to date or we will get caught in the trap so many links have in their downloads.

Being human I tend to finally realize and appreciate what I like only when it is taken from me. I also learn best when I have made a mistake (darn). I am finally making use of this pattern and these days when I make make a mistake and lose something I  get the message my inner wisdom is trying to tell me; which is slow down and take a break. Once my energy is restored I am ready to learn something new. I learned the hard way that there is nothing free on the internet. Those free links come loaded with ads that will embed in your system and take over if you are not careful. The road of hard knocks just taught me (after I accidentally downloaded 188 malicious malware) that first I should always choose “custom” download because this way you can avoid all the extras you never wanted in the first place, then “save” any download link not “run” it. Next I should do a virus scan on it which is as simple as a right click and is done in minutes. Once it’s all the way you want it and has no virus then add it to your computer. In this way you have personal empowerment over the vast internet traps that lay in wait for the unsuspecting visitor.

I know how to handle furniture sales people, installers, carpenters, contractors, delayed deliveries and painters but I really have a lot to learn about the internet and computer business. Once I saw it as one of the personal space dimensions I could clearly see how to deal with it all. Go slow, keep your eyes open, follow your hunches, make sure you are not stressed or tired so you can be fully present before proceeding, and know beyond a doubt that no matter how pushy these promoters are you get to have it your way…it’s your personal computer space after all!!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Career Solutions

Last week I gave you my “Career Questionnaire” tip on how to use all the jobs you have ever held and turn them into a guide for helping you to find new work you will love doing. We made a list of all the jobs you have ever done, broke them down into skills needed to do the job and then categorized them into skills you love doing vs. don’t love doing.

Journal Writing

Having a job we love is important because our job or career takes up most of our time and energy. We spend over half of our day and more than ¾ of our waking hours on the job; either getting ready for it, driving to or from it, or working at the office/location itself. If you put in 8 hours on the job you have actually put in 9 because you had to take a lunch most likely with coworkers – so no personal time there. Then add two more hours for drive time and prep for work. That ends up being on average 11-13 hours of your day and we still need 8 hours of sleep which means only 3 hours left of free time. So not only is doing the work you love important because you have a unique gift to share with the world, it’s important for your overall health and energy they you enjoy your life!

Career Solutions Guide:
  • Take your “Career Questionnaire” from last week and look over the list of skills you created. If you haven’t made a third list of just the skills and talents you love to do make that list now.
  • Next to each skill or talent see if you can imagine a job or opportunity that uses that skill – write it down
  • Go on-line and Google that skill or talent. Your search might read…”jobs that use x-y-z- talent” and see what you find and note them down
  • Circle any of the job opportunities you found that sound good to you
  • If you are feeling the connection with any of the careers/jobs that you saw – go online and visit a job search website and see if you can find any jobs posted that use the skill set you want to offer. If you find something you like work up a resume next and apply.
  • If you are not ready to apply you can note down where these jobs are and do what is called an “informational interview.” This is where you list the questions you have about this position or company, call and make an appointment for the interview and meet with them to learn more about the career. There are tips online for creating a good interview list.

Until now we have been working with your Left Brain and are being very logical and through. Our next task is to use our Right Brain and get more intuitive because it is from this side of our psyche that our passion for life comes from and we want a new job that we feel passionate about. Feeling passion is a sign your Soul Space has been activated.

Next Tuesday Tips I will take you through a Right Brain exercise to help you get the career of your dreams!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Career Questions

Have you ever wondered if you are working at your best career? Perhaps you don’t love your job, but you don’t know what you might like better. This restless feeling hits all of us from time to time. My theory is we are in our perfect job at our perfect time right now…until it’s time to change. Everything that happens has a gift and benefit for us – so don’t bemoan your current situation, bless it and use it as information for moving on and getting something better. There are clues all around you, and here is what I have done to get a job/career I would love. FullSizeRender

Career Questionnaire:

  • Grab a legal pad of paper and a pen. Look back over your life and create a list of jobs (paid and volunteer) you have had using three columns that you title – Loved – Just Ok – Hated. Take your time; perhaps give yourself a week to do this. Start in chronological order and go as far back as you can. Yep, include that lemonade stand when you were a child. Basically a “job” is anything you did that others benefited from or depended upon you to do such as babysitting, surgery, answering the phones etc. Keep bosses/co-workers out of this evaluation if you can, and just look at the work you did. Be sure to list everything you did, especially the work you didn’t get paid for. For example say in High School you were in the band…was playing in the band a “Loved” or “Hated” work experience? As you remember a job place it under the category that fits it best.
  • Number your list of jobs from first to current in chronological order.
  • Take a separate sheet of paper from your legal pad, and as you look over the 3 column list of jobs, start jotting down the different skill sets you needed to do the jobs in the “Loved” column. Start with the first and work through to the last but if you find a matching skill set instead of writing it down again just put the job number next to it. This list will give you a good idea of what your current skills and talents are. For example the Lemonade Stand – if your Mom made the lemonade for you then don’t include that part of this jobs skill set. Did you sit at a table taking and filling orders? Did you make the sign advertising the sale? Did you go door to door inviting people? Were you shy and quiet and did the pouring? Did you enjoy the set up and the take down of the stand?
  • After you work through the “Loved” list of jobs, go through the “Just Ok” and “Hated” lists and note down what skills they used. Just add their job number to a skill you already listed or write in a new skill if needed.
  • Now you want to look at the list of skills you have learned, mastered and offered as a service to others. Stop for a moment and pat yourself on the back for learning so much and being so valuable to others in your life.
  • Next circle all the skills you really love to do. These are the ones you could happily do all day long.
  • Next underline the skills you don’t necessarily love but don’t actually mind doing from time to time.
  • Take a different sheet of paper and list down all the skill sets you just circled. Notice we are no longer talking about a job title or career, just the skills and talents you actually enjoy doing. You many notice there are a ton of things you are able to do and do well, but you don’t really love doing them. No job will give you only what you love to do, but the idea here is to get at least 60% of what you love doing to be a part of your work day.

Now that you have your list of what you love to do you will begin to play with it. Next Tuesday I will give you more tips for how to turn this list into a job you will love.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©