Use Your Powerful “Off” Switch

Personal Space is slowly becoming extinct. Everywhere we go we are constantly connected to everyone else on the planet. Everywhere we turn someone is telling us how to eat, what to eat, what not to eat, how to dress our body in the latest (and only approved of) styles, how to decorate our home, what the latest and greatest is for every moment of our life experience. Even if we turned off all the TV ads, radio marketing and newspaper ads, internet or magazine publications we would still be prompted by well-meaning others to do it their way. And always there is that unspoken “or else” that is implied. Or else you won’t be popular, or else you won’t get that job, or else you won’t look attractive. And the worst one of all; “or else you won’t be loved.” 2-1-14 (11)

Every one of these subtle and not too subtle voices coaxes us all day long to comply. Before you know it, you’ve lost the essence of what makes you tick, what makes you happy. You are lost as to what makes you, YOU. Reclaim and take back ownership of your Personal Space by tuning out the world on a daily basis. You’ll be glad you did and it will keep you sane. The only True voice is the one within your heart and soul; this is the voice of your Divine Inner Self – our Soul Space. It is crucial to our personal power and peace of mind that keep our Soul connection open and active or our life will fade into the world view of “one size fits all.”

It used to be that we could come home and leave the world behind for a while and refresh ourselves. But today with our wonderful internet and instant messaging the world comes with us everywhere. It is up to each of us to choose when, how and where we will take a break and give the world a “do-not-disturb” notice.

My favorite method of turning “off” world opinions is by declaring my unique self in my home decor style and in my wardrobe. I also set aside time each morning and evening (I call it my book-ends) to just sit and be still. Sometimes I meditate but most often I contemplate and watch nature while in my garden or through a window. I get so many good ideas and answers during theses quite “off” moments that I keep a note pad handy to jot down what comes to me, but I am careful not to work it then. I pick it up later when I am back “on” for the day.

Our personal power comes from within, the world can’t help us. No one can sleep for you, no one can eat for you and no one can hear your unique Soul’s voice but you alone. Turn off the world now and then and check in with yourself. This is where your power lies; flip your inner switch ON! You have all the power you need. Stay connected to YOU by managing the world with your own personal “off” switch.

’till next time,
Ginger- Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Book-ending Your Day

I bet you are wondering what in the world is she talking about now? I don’t blame you-lol  This is the best term I could come up with to describe the way I manage my Personal Energy so that I have the best day possible every day of the week.

It came to me one Sunday when I was having a quiet moment in my Private Spot. My energy for Sunday always feel so good to me and I knew it was because I took all the time I wanted to sit in my quiet area, writing in my journal, watching the birds in the trees and just “be-ing” me. I was wondering how I could create this feeling on a daily basis and it occurred to me that I tend to rush around Monday through Saturday but on Sunday I “mosey.” I never have a moments peace until my Sunday routine of doing nothing. Feet Relaxing

I began to wonder if I could “start” and “stop” my day the same way each day…sort of frame all my activities like book-ends frame and support the books on my shelf…perhaps I could give myself better energy and have that content, satisfied feeling I get on Sunday – every day!

So I set out to first notice what I was doing already every morning and every evening to see if any of it was routine….you know like shower in the morning, put your pj’s on at night, that kind of thing.

Next I looked at what I did on Sunday and decided to add mini parts of this to my morning and evening routine and what I came up with is a 15 minute practice before I head out for the day and a 15 minute practice I do before I crawl into bed at night. And it worked!! I began to feel better during my day. If I found myself rushing around like a chicken-with-my-head-cut-off, I’d catch myself and literally stop and repeat the word “mosey” in my head. This usually makes me laugh because it’s such a silly word but it does the trick. I still get everything done without rushing AND I actually get more done and am happier all day long. I also don’t turn to food (chocolate) to comfort me anymore because I don’t need comfort…I start with comfort and end with comfort and all day long I maintain my comfort level almost magically.

In my next blog I will give you a list of tips to apply if you want to try this daily practice out for yourself.

’till next time
Your Personal Space Coach


Take a Day for Yourself!

Have you ever taken a day off  just because you wanted to? I admit it wasn’t until I hit 40 that I started doing this and then it was some time later until I felt no guilt over it.

9-6-11 Mom's Sedona Birthday (36)Isn’t it funny how we don’t hesitate to give our car gas (and we don’t wait until it is empty either) but for our own bodies we put off rest and fun? When you fully own your Personal Space you will never hesitate to respect yourself by taking the time and space you either need or want. You won’t be pushing yourself without balancing this “push-time” with equal or greater “off-time” and you will know that if your Soul calls for you to goof off for a day that it is best for you follow your wisdom and do just that.

Taking a personal space” day  for yourself either planned or spontaneous is one of the most powerful stress reducing tips I could ever give you. For when the Universe sees that you value yourself enough to take care of yourself, then it too will align Life around you to also value and support you.

I think it was Oprah who said that we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Well it’s the same for Life and the Law of Attraction as well. We must first “do unto ourselves – what we would have Life do unto us” …I know I really altered that Golden Rule quote but seriously it really is how Life works. The world as we see and live it starts with us, not from outside of ourselves but from within us.

So take a moment. Sit in your Personal Private Spot and go within and hear what your heart and soul is calling for you to do next, now. Rest. Dance. Take a drive. Eat some lettuce…lol Seriously if we live from our internal barometer we can’t loose because that is where OUR answers are found and nowhere else.
‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Stop Watering Your Problems

In the course of a single day you will have moments that lift your spirits and moments that bring you down. The trick is to keep going. No matter what just happened, in the next moment it can and most likely will change. But sometimes it is really difficult to put on a happy face when things seem to keep going “wrong.” It is during those moments that changing your “station” (like you do on TV) is crucial for your energy and well being. I have a few tips to share that have worked for me. Watering Problem

Feel Better Tips:

  1. When things are going your way it’s important not to dismiss them as “luck” or “flukes” but instead do what we usually do when something goes wrong…rehash the happy moment!! Yep, I mean it. Stop a moment and review what you said, what they said, how perfectly everything went. See that smile on your face? That’s what you want to re-experience and then when you are done say silently to yourself “I want more of that please!” and then move on. This is “watering the success” which will bring more of the same to you.
  2. Next, do the opposite with the event that “went wrong.” Instead of rehashing what you said, what they said, what you didn’t do so well etc. change the channel-turn your attention to something that feels good! If you find you are stuck in a bad memory of an event that went “wrong” move on and get something going that you love, do what you like even if it’s just taking a walk or listening to a favorite song you need in the moment to shift out of the problem. This is like giving your energy a re-boot.
  3. In the evening or when your day is done its good to reflect back. Take what went well and remember what worked. Take what went wrong and decide how you would do it differently. This way both events simply become “information” and you stay in the flow that change is always fluid and you are never stuck or doomed.
  4. Also in your evening reflection, take a moment to add up the bits and pieces of your day so you can see the whole effect. Due to my background as a Home Ec teacher I see each day as a cake I am making. If you pull out all the ingredients for baking a cake; flour, sugar, salt, vanilla, baking soda, raw egg etc and examine and taste each one you might find yourself getting discouraged. Most of the ingredients that make a great tasting cake don’t taste very good by themselves. If you based your actions on this taste test you might give up. That’s “watering the problem” or focusing on the negative and not considering that it has a benefit in the big picture. If you stop now you won’t get the end result you want of a delicious cake for dessert. So you move forward in faith and proceed to make the recipe as directed. You trust as you put this “nasty” mixture into round pans that this is right. You further take a leap of faith when you place these pans into an oven so hot you have to use potholders or risk getting burned! Each and every step by itself looks more like failure than success…slimy raw egg, mouth drying flour, bitter vanilla and burning oven…all look “bad” to our untrained eye.

Our life is like that. Do what comes up next to do and trust in the BIG picture. You will get what you want, especially if you keep your focus on the goal. By focusing on the goal we are led along the path to its location. The path is not the goal but the path is necessary to achieve the goal….no matter how many nasty turns the path takes. It all adds up to the success we want. Trust this!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach

Are You Getting What You Want?

I had a professor in college who was a bit of smart aleck and one of his favorite phrases was “Happiness is wanting what you get, not getting what you want.” He used this quite frequently when giving us weekend assignments. I know this phrase is around with other additions but at that time in college I had never heard it before and I thought it was just plain stupid. Time Out

I have come to reconsider my young adult-self’s opinion and I believe my life experience is the reason. I am not sure when inspiration struck but one day while pondering this phrase I decided to give it at try. I thought what if I just said “thank you” for whatever happened? What if I found something to like in what was occurring? This is somewhat like what the character Pollyanna does with her “glad game” but with a twist.

When I know what I am hoping to achieve – what I would consider  the “success” of my objective – and I don’t get the results I wanted,  I will stop and look at what DID happen and ask myself how was getting “this” giving me what I wanted? And surprisingly enough I found in each scenario how I was getting what I wanted at least in the “end result” of my goal.

You see we say we want something, like a new home with specific items, or a new car in a particular color and style and when something else happens we get upset. For instance you are saving for your dream car. You have it all picked out when one day your company transfers you to New York City where having a car is more trouble than benefit. You are frustrated because you didn’t get your wish and you had worked hard for it. BUT – and in life there is always a “but” – you did get your end result/goal. Ask yourself what was the reason you wanted the car? You might find it was because the brand make and model had an excellent safety record, or was reliable or was comfortable. Perhaps it was a “green” car and good for the environment and your pocket book by using less gas. The reasons behind our wishes are what we want to focus on here. So getting the job in NYC just happens to be within walking distance to your home and if it is raining your building has a car service to drive you. So right there you have reliable transportation, comfort and good for the environment and you get to where you are going in style….NYC style.

I recently created a wish list of what I wanted to have happen for my life before a big family event. I didn’t achieve a single one of my wish list items specifically but I did get the end result I had been working for. The energy, feeling and health I needed were all there for me when the big day came. And when I looked at my list of “wants” the reason for each one was what I received even if the specific way I thought it would play out was different. This event is now one of my happiest memories ever!!

So the next time you find yourself unhappy for frustrated with the way your life is moving along, stop and ask yourself…

  • What exactly did I want or hope would happen?
  • Why did I want it play out this way?
  • What result was I hoping to achieve?
  • What feelings did I want to have?
  • Just what is my “happy end result?”
  • Next look at what DID happen and see if you did receive your “core reasons” after all
  • If not then ask yourself “how does what DID happen benefit me?” It might be a next step toward your master goal.

You might find that you did get at least part of what you wanted after all.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach


Creating Harmony For The Odd Couple

Do you live with someone who isn’t as neat as you are? We find this sort of situation funny in a TV show like “The Odd Couple” but in real life it can add disturbing energy to the Home Space we share with others- and that is not good for anyone.

We are each born with unique predispositions so that a “mess” to one person is perfect organization to another. I have seen homes where I couldn’t imagine how they manage, but the people are able to find just what they want instantly. They tell me it’s a matter of having what they want handy and out in the open so they don’t forget it. Moving Day

Most energy workers would frown on this type of functionality. Feng Shui the Chinese art of placement, which is thousands of years old, promotes simplicity and organization and for the most part I agree. But of course I would – I am a Virgo after all-ha! However, during my 30 plus years as a designer I have seen many instances where a mess wasn’t really a mess, and to ask the owner to clean it up would be a great disservice to their creative energy. Only the beholder of the mess knows whether it is a problem or a style of living for them. In another post I will go over how you can tell the difference but for now I want to focus on how two polar opposite types can live in harmony together.

The first thing I would advise to a couple or family that has different views on mess and order is for them to grant each person a room of their own. If that is not possible then a room they have the right to create in their particular style of messy or neat. This space becomes “sacred space” to the one it belongs to and they get to have the whole space in their style of functionality without any judgment from others. Once each person has their designated space, the rest of the home is divided between all the other members in a manner that shares styles. For instance the living room – if this is the room they entertain guests in then this space would become a mostly “neat space” so as to allow guests space to sit and visit. The TV or family room might be a blend of the two with a designated chair space for the messy one and one for the neat one. To give you an example of this check out the TV show Frasier where the dad has his scruffy chair in the pristine modern Living Room of Frasier’s loft. The two parties agree not to “mess with” the others portion of each shared room and to be responsible for their part only.

For the “community rooms” in your home – those that you share and are half messy and half neat I suggest creating special days as “cleaning days.” In my experience the messy ones frequently feel overwhelmed by their mess and perhaps in need of some TLC attention. A special cleaning day is just the ticket. On this day you set aside time for the two of you (or whole family) to clean and tidy the home together. I call this a “Cleaning Party” and that is just what you want to make it. Put on a funny TV show you all love or music while you work. Have a coke or Starbucks coffee and fun snacks. Create a plan to go room to room and assign tasks ahead of time for each member. The key here is to HAVE FUN while cleaning and bonding. In this activity the Home Space becomes YOUR Home Space and is a great harmony booster.

With a set day and time for the whole family to clean together the messy one gets the help they need and the neat one doesn’t feel that all the cleaning is on their shoulders alone and both get bonding time. Acceptance is the gift of love we give to each other and to ourselves!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach





Christmas Space

Today’s “Thursday Thoughts” blog post will arrive on Christmas day 2014 and it seems fitting to talk today about Christmas Space.
Holiday WreathSimply put, Christmas Space is the unique manner in which each of us marks this popular holiday world-wide. Now not everyone in the world celebrates this Christian holiday and not all celebrations of Christmas are Christian in content, but it is safe to say that every person on the planet is affected by this popular holiday. If you don’t celebrate yourself then you are most likely affected by the store discount sales, the TV shows and movies, and the music stations adding in holiday music. It would be difficult to live your normal life (unless you live a solitary and isolated  life) and not notice the city, store and company decorations. You might even change your usual food shopping schedule due to extra crowds at the store or choose to work extra while a co-worker takes off to celebrate the holiday.

What is Christmas exactly? If you did a public survey I bet you wouldn’t get two answers that are the same. Christmas and the way it is celebrated (or not) and the meaning it holds is one of the most universally personal experiences I have found. No matter who you are or where you live you most likely have an opinion and unique manner of keeping the Christmas holiday.
Perhaps you celebrate it as the birth of Jesus and that is why you mark this day. Or you don’t celebrate it at all. Maybe you don’t have a religious reason, but celebrate because it is fun and you enjoy the lights, colors and music. Maybe you like the gift sharing and stories about holiday. Even if you are not a Christian (Christmas is a Christian holiday) you most likely make plans to include it or at least adjust your life around it because stores are closed. Maybe you make a point to work that day so your Christian co-workers can be home celebrating with their families.

The message of Christmas is one of hope, peace and good will toward all mankind. This message is also an important part of the Personal Space Code which we strive to live all year long. Start with yourself and choose how you want to mark this day and then keep an open mind as you meet with others because no two of you will have the same emery about Christmas, but we can all share in the bonding of love that is universal for all!

No matter how you fill your day I hope your Christmas Space is filled with joy, love and laughter and that it lasts throughout the New Year as well!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©


The Inner Holiday

The Winter Holidays are loaded with sensationalism; music, color, lights, gifts, food and nonstop commercials to buy this or that. With all this activity it can be difficult to remember that the holiday season is really only happening inside of us!! No matter what events are going on around us, our only experience of it is how we process it inside of ourselves. The power for how we mark this time of year (happy, sad, chaotic, peaceful etc.) is not up to Toys R Us, JC Penney or Martha Stewart. It’s not up to your mother, your friends, the local church, your Rabbi or your neighbors. It is only up to you. If you were to time travel to Christmas Day in any previous year and visit a church and you could hear the thoughts of those in attendance, you’d find that no two people were hearing or thinking the same exact thing, even though the minister was in the throes of a really moving sermon!

Inner LightOur senses act as personal filters for everything going on around us. Our thoughts and beliefs tell us how we feel about what we are experiencing. For example someone could be ecstatic and profuse in their thanks to you for the gift you just gave them, but if you perceive a look in their eyes as rejection you won’t’ believe their gratitude and then you won’t’ feel good about the experience. It’s our power alone to filter what comes across our path. We get to choose what to think, and what to feel in every moment. No one can control us for they don’t live inside of us. No one is in our minds or our hearts or lives behind our eyes but us.

No matter what happens in your life this time of year you can choose to make peace with whatever happens. You do this by keeping yourself centered and present in the NOW moment and play it by ear. Also remember you are fully self-empowered.  Bear in mind that plans are just that PLANS; not events taking place in the current moment and plans can and will be changed so remain open to this and flex with what does happen next. Be okay with what comes next and the right response will occur to your now open mind. This is how to maintain the feeling of peace inside, which you can choose no matter what is going on outside of you. Remember happiness is a choice so decide to choose it over and over and over again and your holiday season will be wonderful!

Here is a list of what I do when I feel my center shift and my spirits dip….

 How To Establish and Maintain Your Power Center:

  • Meet your needs yourself!! Yah, you heard me. If you want something a certain way go make it happen. Don’t expect others to know what you want or when you want it. Remember who lives behind your eyes and empower yourself to meet your needs. This way you won’t feel let down. If you do feel upset walk to a mirror and look at the only person capable of fixing it your way. Cool huh?
  • If you do get knocked off center and get your feelings hurt or find yourself angry or worried you may need to give yourself some space and time. This will give you time to process what triggered you. Sometimes just writing down what happened and reminding yourself of what’s true can help. A big truth that can help is to remember nothing stays the same, “this too shall pass.”
  • Also a good cry can clean the slate. Or get a pillow and whack it against your bed and shout out your anger. This can be a healthy outlet and relief for anger. Then step back and see where you might be mad at yourself. I have never found anger at another to be anything other than anger at myself; which at the core was usually by a choice I made.
  • If it is a blue mood you have try an activity that cheers you up. I actually color in a coloring book from time to time. Yah, I know I am in my 50’s, so what? Ha! I also have a few songs that never fail to lift my mood. These are not holiday songs, that could make you feel worse.
  • This last one I want to mention is one you could try first for it is super simple and highly effective. To stop the negative train of thought – take a look around were you are in that moment. You are looking around to find something to be truly grateful for. It can be on you or around you. Maybe you love your shoes that day or you are grateful the sky is sunny. Keep it simple. Make it a game and see how many things you can find to be grateful for in that moment and soon the upset will have dissolved like magic! That’s how you know it was an illusion in the first place by how quickly it can be eliminated.

So give these tips a try this holiday season if you find you need a boost, then let me know how they worked for you.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©

Active Gratitude

Today in the United States (where I live) is Thanksgiving Day. Many countries celebrate a special day just to give thanks and today I want to challenge both myself and my readers to consider taking this holiday and making active gratitude a daily practice.

Gratitude in Expression

Sharing your positive energy in the form of recommendations and repeat business is an active form of being grateful. When you spread the word publicly about something you found helpful, meaningful and fabulous you not only assist others in solving problems they might be having, but you also tell the Universe that you want this kind of energy to come your way as well when you need it. Good deeds are always reciprocated – just not necessarily from the same person you just gave to.

Actions speak louder than words but not nearly as often. “
Mark Twain

We naturally return to restaurants and stores that give us good food and great service. But it is not so natural a behavior for us to tell others about this. I don’t know if it is because the TV and written news is so negative or if it is human nature but we seem to find it easier to focus on what we don’t like and then we tend to “water it” by telling others about it.

Let’s change that and make it a point to tell at least one person every day about one item, store or event we enjoyed and will continue to give our patronage to. Who knows we might just find we start getting more of what we want in life instead of what we don’t want. Let’s take our gratitude and make it public!!

Pay It Forward

You have heard the phrase “pay it forward” and perhaps have seen it in action such as in the drive-through line at Starbucks where one customer will pay for the items the car behind them has ordered. This can go on for hours at Starbucks as everyone in line wants’ to give the same good vibration of energy that they just received.

The opposite form of “pay it forward” can be seen in mob mentality. We see it all too often on the news how an angry crowd at the end of a sports event gathers and builds up its negative energy and starts smashing windows and trashing cars. Energy has a life of its own but our intention behind it can divert negative energy if we will just stop and send our good energy out.

I tend to avoid the TV news. They are just too focused on what I call “Ain’t It Awful” energy but if I find myself witnessing something distressing on the news I will stop and recognize it as an opportunity to divert the negative energy. I will literally focus my heart energy toward the news event by seeing my energy as a ball of loving light which I visualize sending to the distress I hear about or see on the TV. I know without a doubt that even if I alone cannot stop the tide of negative energy I can at least “pay forward” my good vibration and help dilute it a little. I used to belong to a focus group that did this very step collectively and we actually saw results – so I know it works.

We are each here to fulfill a unique purpose – one that requires the help and energy of others to be successful. So let’s help ourselves and others by actively being grateful for our life and pay forward our good opinion, happy results, loving light energy and kind words. After all what is it you really want more of in this world?

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©

The Colbert Bump

If you watch The Colbert Report show on Comedy Central you have most likely seen him do his “Colbert Bump” for some of his guests. This is his stamp of approval which is of course his “energetic seal” which means he is applying his Energy Space and influence to empower another. Being who he is in the public eye (his brand) his “Bump” can either help or hinder the product he is giving it to.

What Do You Stand For?

With Stephen Colbert you can see how standing for something publically can influence the sale of items and spread influence. The funny thing is he has such a strong and public viewpoint and is so well known that giving his energy to an item through his “Bump” can also cause people of the opposite view to avoid following that person or purchasing that item. He takes a strong stand on many topics. He often does this tongue-in-cheek but we all know he is liberal in his viewpoints and is using his TV show to poke fun at the conservative view points. He does this in a harmless manner and is so likeable that even his “enemies” don’t get upset. He not only voices his opinion he will let the opposite opinion have a voice on his show as well. This is not only fair minded, it is also creating good Karma for then his view will remain open for consideration to his opponents as well. Stephen follows the Golden Rule (which is part of my Shared Space Code of Conduct)…“do unto others as you would have them do unto you…”

Taking a stand for something you value is important, necessary and challenging. We need to do this in order to give energy to the unique work we are here to complete, yet we must also remain open minded and know that all others have the right to express their view as well.

So take a stand for what you believe in. Remain open minded and fair minded to the good opinion of others and never ever publically degage another or your energy will be affected diversely.

What Kind of Karma Do You Want?

This sharing of our energy by endorsing another can appear in a variety of ways. It can be personal and private- where you continue to purchase an item because you like it or you can go public and tell your friends and family about it and even go viral with it if you post your positive opinion on social media.

“What goes around comes around!” Karma phrase

The trick about sharing our energy is that energy doesn’t die; it has an unlimited “shelf-life” and what you send out acts like a boomerang and bounces back to you.

Giving our “energetic seal of approval” can boost or drain your energy depending upon how you communicate your opinion. If you send out messages of love and support then the energy of loving and support will return to you. But if you send out damaging messages, especially in the form of slander and manipulations like a bully would use BEWARE because this energy will also find its way back to you! This is not to say you cannot speak ill of someone or some situation but you must ask yourself if you are just complaining and causing trouble or are actually trying to solve a problem.

Don’t be the problem, instead be the solution while you give your energetic seal of approval to the things you value.

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©