Use Your Powerful “Off” Switch

Personal Space is slowly becoming extinct. Everywhere we go we are constantly connected to everyone else on the planet. Everywhere we turn someone is telling us how to eat, what to eat, what not to eat, how to dress our body in the latest (and only approved of) styles, how to decorate our home, what the latest and greatest is for every moment of our life experience. Even if we turned off all the TV ads, radio marketing and newspaper ads, internet or magazine publications we would still be prompted by well-meaning others to do it their way. And always there is that unspoken “or else” that is implied. Or else you won’t be popular, or else you won’t get that job, or else you won’t look attractive. And the worst one of all; “or else you won’t be loved.” 2-1-14 (11)

Every one of these subtle and not too subtle voices coaxes us all day long to comply. Before you know it, you’ve lost the essence of what makes you tick, what makes you happy. You are lost as to what makes you, YOU. Reclaim and take back ownership of your Personal Space by tuning out the world on a daily basis. You’ll be glad you did and it will keep you sane. The only True voice is the one within your heart and soul; this is the voice of your Divine Inner Self – our Soul Space. It is crucial to our personal power and peace of mind that keep our Soul connection open and active or our life will fade into the world view of “one size fits all.”

It used to be that we could come home and leave the world behind for a while and refresh ourselves. But today with our wonderful internet and instant messaging the world comes with us everywhere. It is up to each of us to choose when, how and where we will take a break and give the world a “do-not-disturb” notice.

My favorite method of turning “off” world opinions is by declaring my unique self in my home decor style and in my wardrobe. I also set aside time each morning and evening (I call it my book-ends) to just sit and be still. Sometimes I meditate but most often I contemplate and watch nature while in my garden or through a window. I get so many good ideas and answers during theses quite “off” moments that I keep a note pad handy to jot down what comes to me, but I am careful not to work it then. I pick it up later when I am back “on” for the day.

Our personal power comes from within, the world can’t help us. No one can sleep for you, no one can eat for you and no one can hear your unique Soul’s voice but you alone. Turn off the world now and then and check in with yourself. This is where your power lies; flip your inner switch ON! You have all the power you need. Stay connected to YOU by managing the world with your own personal “off” switch.

’till next time,
Ginger- Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Are You Self-Conscious?

How self-aware or self-conscious are you? To be conscious is to be empowered. To be self-conscious is to be self empoweredSedona 1. The Personal Space journey is all about making our Personal Space “conscious space.” We do this by exploring what it means to be our authentic selves and then put those things we learn about ourselves into daily practice.

That’s right, Personal Space is a practice; the practice of being you. One of the reasons it needs to become a practice is because the world wants to pull you out of yourself; pull you out of self-consciousness. You have heard that “misery loves company” and until everyone else learns to be personally empowered aka self-aware and conscious they will feel miserable and encourage others to join them. Ever known someone who played the drama game of “ain’t it awful?” Then you know what I mean. TV, radio, printed and internet ads want you to “join the crowd” and be like everyone else; only we were not meant to conform, we were designed to be unique.

When you practice self consciousness over time you will do what it takes to be you in the world automatically, instinctively even. Your inner bossy ego voice that says “I want to be like the crowd”  or “I want to belong” will know to keep quiet and save its breath because you are so anchored and confident in your true self he/she can’t sway you any longer to go along with the crowd. From now on you do belong… you belong to yourself!

Once you are firmly self-established you will have great success expanding your space. This means moving out from your standard routine at home and entering the world while remaining true to your core values. You will know how to navigate in new territory because your inner senses are fully tuned and can lead you on. In other words you will have a fully active internal compass which will always point you in your true north direction.

Expanding your space is not about influencing others. It might seem that this is just what you are doing but that is the ego’s illusion. Expanding your space is more like a vibration that is strong and in tune. It surrounds you and keeps you in harmony with yourself while you are in the company of other vibrations and tunes. Like a radio wave that is floating out there invisible to the eye and unheard by the ear unless a tuning device is used and a particular channel chosen. You see, anyone who is influenced by you is in charge of their radio station selection. If they are tuned into you it’s on them to be influenced by your tune …. or not.

Never take the credit for another’s success, it can never be yours. It’s all theirs. Your credit, the credit you deserve, comes from living your life from inside-out and doing so out loud for the world to see if it chooses to. You do this with respect for yourself and all others.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

Personal Space and Your Car

I know some of you will think I am overstating where our personal space borders are when I tell you that it includes your car, but I saw a perfect example as I was doing my food shopping today.

I was driving from one store to the next and was stopped at a busy intersection waiting at a light when a movement caught my eye. Right in front of me was a big white Cadillac and stretched across their back seat was a hanging bar with at least 3 dozen white plastic hangers swaying from the movement of the car. They were all empty and there were two people in the front seat. This is not something you see every day but I have seen this before. I had a neighbor once who was a traveling sales woman for a fabric company and she did this as well. She said it beat ironing and unpacking every day and since she had to dress professionally it was the best way for her. 11-2012 Sedona Election Trip (26)

Do you see where I am going with this? Here was a business woman who for all intents and purposes had her office and closet in her car. I don’t’ know about the people I saw today, perhaps they just took everything to the dry cleaners and were on their way to pick it up and didn’t want it to wrinkle on drive home. Most likely they store hanging clothes in their back seat as part of their life style or work.

When I was a shop-at-home Design Consultant I too worked from my car. My entire back seat and trunk space was filled with plastic totes which held fabric samples hard bound with handles for easy carrying. I had more in my garage as well for our fabric sales shifted month to month and I couldn’t carry every fabric we sold in my car. So my office was partly in my car and partly in my garage. I found it really important to keep my car neat so I got the plastic bins and this kept the fabric books from moving when I drove.

The couple I saw today was doing something I never could, for the swaying hangers would drive me nuts! But, that is their business to decide. Claiming the various personal spaces of your life is what self empowerment is all about. They not only have the right to do this with their car space but it is necessary for them to fulfill their unique purpose.

Now, sometimes what we want and choose to do in our Personal Spaces affects others in what I refer to as Shared Space. Their moving hangers got my attention but it wasn’t a danger to my driving so no problem. But say they had something reflective swaying in the back, then it would adversely affect others in “shared space” and as you know I encourage you to always do what is most loving for yourself while looking at the big picture to be sure you don’t adversely affect others. Chances are if you are being true to yourself you are not harming another but it is important to be aware. If they had something reflective swaying in the back it would also hurt their driving and probably cause the police to make them remove it.

Perhaps you do something out of the ordinary with your car space, if so please leave a comment I’d love to hear how you use your car space.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Do You Dare Express Your Unique Style?

I love watching people, and the longer I do the more I come to realize that we truly are one of a kind. Some days it’s difficult to notice the unique qualities each person is capable of and on other days it hits you in the face and it almost too much of a shock to absorb. That is what happened to me last week at my local Sprouts. Here I was doing my weekly marketing when I turned the corner and almost ran over this man’s dog. He was so still I didn’t notice him, then the next thing I saw was his owner’s shoes, and as I looked up I got a marvelous shock. Here was a brave man in my midst! He not only brought his dog into the store but was wearing bright red and green seekers, a sombrero hat and a colorful shirt as well. Unique Dressed Man

I can only assume he had a special need for the dog as I don’t think they are allowed in the store under normal circumstances, but then nothing about this man was normal or usual. I admit I didn’t have the courage to speak to him and in hindsight I wish I could have but no, on this day I high-tailed it out of that section and gave myself a wide berth. Why? Well I asked myself this and to be honest my first thought was that this man was unstable but as I explored my reaction further I have to admit that it was more that his uniqueness was a bit more than I could handle. I feel badly about that and in the future I will check my judgment at the door because he is not the only “odd” dresser in the store. I too tend to dress strangely (to others eyes I am sure) because I happen to wear a visor hat almost all the time I am outside, and even while in the store. I don’t like the sun in my eyes and a full hat will flatten my hair. I wear it inside because if a store is warm I tend to perspire so I will put it on so as not to drip about as I do my shopping. Odd? Yep, that’s me. Perhaps we are all odd … after all there are no two of us alike. Sometimes it works and sometimes it just scares people.

This man made my day. I admire his courage. His color coordination was excellent and so cheerful. There are others that dress “oddly” to our way of thinking and they make it really work for them…remember Michael Jackson and his one gloved hand -or how about Pharrell Williams and his Smokey the Bear hat? Sure actors, musicians and artists are given permission by society to dress and even act oddly so why shouldn’t the rest of us have this same permission? I think we have to give it to ourselves and when we encounter brave dressed men like I did in my local store it paves the way for the rest of us to be exactly who we are “out loud!”

Go forth and be brave in your uniqueness and if I see you I will be sure to cheer you on!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

Using Your “No” Power!

I was just a little girl and not yet in school when we got our first black and white TV and I remember it being a really big deal. When color TV came out it was even more exciting, because now it wasn’t just a box on a rickety stand, it was in a finely crafted piece of wood furniture…console TV.

Media in RoomEven before the TV we had a radio in our living room and from the start our listening time was limited. This was due to what time the stations were playing programs.  So even though I am a child of the mass communications age I didn’t feel it ruled our lives. Fast forward to 2015 and it’s an entirely different story.

Not only do we have multiple TV’s in our homes, perhaps one in every room to watch pre-recorded shows, we also have instant connection to the entire world through the internet and social media. The first telephone we had when I was a kid was a “party line” which meant our calls were not private and we had to go through an operator to ring someone. Today my phone is “smart” and can connect with the world in real time. Now before you think I am ancient, this was just 50 years ago and the previous 50 years only saw the invention of the telephone and radio!!

Inventions are happening much faster than they used to – are we keeping up? Are we “smart” with our phones and other electronics or do they control our lives?  What we do to get along and entertain ourselves has completely changed and I want to address how this has affected our ability to find and create separate space for ourselves – and maintain our personal power.

In order to have personal power we must first have our “person” intact. This was difficult to do when I was a teen/adult and it is exponentially more difficult today thanks to mass media and a plethora of devices. The choices we are presented with each day are too numerous to count and it’s easy to get lost in the sea of information and technology. The best way to combat this influx of sales stimuli is to make space for yourself where you can hear yourself think and more importantly feel yourself react to life. It is through our feelings that we can really know when we are in harmony with our True authentic self. The thinking mind or ego will want to “belong” in the world and since it perceives everything as danger, it rarely wants to take a stand and be unique. But your heart has all the courage you could ever need to stand up and be your true self. And this courage is fed by having a private spot within our protected personal space. I say protected because that is what we have to do. We do this by choosing what we will and won’t let into our space and this enables us to reclaim our power from the world that is invading our home.

Here is an example of what I mean; I was born at the end of the Korean War and soon we were in the Vietnam War. Three brothers, 2 cousins, and one uncle all served in the Navy and I was busy as a little girl writing letters and sending care packages so I was quite familiar with wartime energy-or so I thought. When we bombed Kuwait in 1991 live on TV I was not at all prepared and was shocked and horrified. You’d think with all the wars I had experienced I would be numb but they were never “live” in my living room. Neither was the explosion of the Challenger Spaceship or the bombing of the Twin Towers on my TV as a child. We do need to know what is going on in the world however we must say “no” when the media wants us to watch them 24-7 and inundate us with their minutia and bad reporting just for the sake of adding money to their coffers. Nor do we need to get shocked and upset for this helps and empowers no one!! Now more than ever our “no” power must be exerted. And remember this; every time you say “no ”you are saying ”yes” to something else you decided you want more such as peace of mind and space to collect and restore your own energy.

Today I limit how much and when I watch the news. I prepare myself and remind myself that the Universe is indeed in order even if it doesn’t look like it and I send blessings of love and light to all who appear in the media that are troubled. In this manner I use my “no” power in a way that is a “win-win” for all.

How do you use your “no” power?

’till next time
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

 

 

Silly Humor

When was the last time you acted silly – you know like you used to do as a child? I am not talking about “feeling silly” as in the adult version of the word meaning embarrassed. No that form of “silly” isn’t really the good energy feeling of silly that we had as children. Yet it grew from that experience when perhaps as a child some adult figure in our lives admonished us for “acting silly” …as if that was a crime!

11-17-12 Alex's Community Birthday (16) this is the darkest timeline... I have a theory why Disneyland and other amusement parks like this are so popular…they allow adults a time and a place (aka Personal Space) to bring out their silly energy. To act silly is to choose to be happy no matter what is going on. It is to look for the funny part in whatever is happening. It’s not quite the same as what Pollyanna taught us with her “Glad Game” but it is related in that going silly shifts our energy from negative to positive.

One way to infuse the energy of “silly” into your day is to make note of the daily holiday. It seems as if every day has at least one holiday event associated with it. It could be as silly as National Doughnut Day or as common as St Patrick’s Day. This link is just one of many web links that will tell you what “holiday” it is. www.checkiday.com The point it to just play with it and have fun! Once you know the day’s holiday do something to commemorate it that will add some fun to your life that day. For instance today April 16 is National High Five Day, as well as Wear Your PJ’s to Work Day…you get to pick what you want to have fun with.

We all like to have a good time and that good time starts with us-it never comes from outside of us.I know this from personal experience. Every now and then I have managed to bring a happy event down to mediocre with my attitude and I once went to Disneyland (of all places) with someone who was determined not to enjoy himself and guess what? He was miserable!!

This is why I encourage reactivating our childhood silly vibe – our “funny bone” because unless we find a way to laugh at life and what happens each day, we will grow old and sour. I’d rather grow happier and sillier. Have you ever seen a sour-pus person? Then you know what can happen to us if we forget how to play, laugh and be silly.

Puns are another great way to maintain our silly vibe and there are websites that will send you a “pun of the day” or a “joke of the day” which is a great way to start the energy flowing.

Having happy personal energy is up to each of us. To paraphrase a famous quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “no one (or thing) can make you feel (unhappy) without your consent!”

So do what you did as a child; find things to laugh about, go up to a friend and do that “oh there is something on your shirt trick and then flick their chin” – sign up for one of the daily jokes of the day, play “knock-knock” jokes with your kids….just do whatever it takes to bring a smile to your face, lighten your step and restore your feeling-good energy. You’ll be glad you did and so will the people you meet all day long.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Perfection Is Boring

In her original and humorous book on eating raw fresh food “Crazy Sexy Diet” Kris Carr says “perfection is boring.” As a recovering perfectionist this made me laugh out loud the first time I read it and then it began to sink in….was it possible that at those times I was being “perfect” I was actually being rigid and boring? Yes! She is absolutely right!

Think about it from various viewpoints…say we got the perfect weather year in and year out…you know when the weather forecaster says …”and the average temperature is…” and it would never vary, never have sunny days when it is suppose to be rainy season or snow when it is suppose to be warm. That would get boring wouldn’t it? 9-6-11 Mom's Sedona Birthday (36)

Or say you ate the very same food each day of the week like the character Sheldon does in “The Big Theory” and if he goes off that schedule he goes nuts…even if he would rather eat something else he won’t…that is boring for sure!

Being adaptable and flexible is the spice of life and who wants a bland life? Now a routine or schedule is great to follow for it gives us stability and structure but from time to time it’s important to spice up our life with variety and being imperfect is the “perfect” way to do this. For instance say you are driving your regular route one day and the road you want to travel is blocked by an accident, so you have to take a detour. Instead of getting upset realize that “Life” is sending you in a new direction for some reason and use this time to notice all the new things you encounter. You might find a better route home or discover a favorite shop was just built and if you hadn’t been re- routed you wouldn’t have realized this.

Tips For Perfectionists:

  1. Next time you get upset because something didn’t go “right” stop and ask what about this scenario IS going “right” because even if just one part went the way you hoped – it is a success.
  2. One or two days a week take a different route home from your job just for the adventure of it all
  3. One or two days a week eat a new food you have never tried before. Keep a journal and note your brave new choices and if you liked them or not. You may find that just trying something new even if you did’t like it made you feel lighter and more energized. Remember routine held too tightly can end up feeling like the walls of a cage. Set yourself free.
  4. Can you think of any other ways to mix up your life and add “spice” to your day?

Who do we have to be perfect for anyway? For me it was a childhood wound of feeling inadequate and unworthy which made me feel as if I needed to go the extra mile all-the-time just to be barely acceptable. Funny thing is, if you go the extra mile all the time it’s not really “extra” anymore. It becomes your norm and then you end up feeling like you will never measure up. To be honest we won’t ever be able to please others, it’s simply not in our power or our job to do so. We each decide for ourselves how pleased we will be by the events around us; therefore the only one you can be perfect for is you!!

So go ahead and mix it up a little, make mistakes, take detours and laugh about it as you go and discover something new along the way. Lighten up like a butterfly that just fitters about not caring if it has a perfect moment and not caring if it looks scattered and unfocused. Only we in our minds know what we are about and the rest of the worlds doesn’t matter.

So let go of boring perfectionism and start being spicy interesting instead and see if your life energy doesn’t improve!!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Must Be Present to Win

This time of year the film industry gets busy with all of their various award ceremonies; the Golden Globes, the Grammy’s, The Oscars and more. One of the phrases you hear a lot is “you must be present to win.” Now with the big public award ceremonies it is acceptable to not be present yourself and you can still win; however the “presence” of the winner is still felt. Sometimes they show up on recorded video feed, or they send in another person to accept the award on their behalf.  They can get away with that in the entertainment industry because the energy of the winner is so huge via their songs, dance or acting. Award Winner

In smaller venues this phrase is usually meant to keep people in their chairs so they stay for the whole presentation. The drawing for the prize is at the end of the program and is used as an incentive for participation.

These are the key words that struck me; participation and presence. For a winning life don’t we need to participate? And in order to participate don’t we need to be present? If you don’t know you won something, you can’t receive it. Or you can know you won and still not “receive” it such as in the case of Woody Allen in 2014 who won a Golden Globe but didn’t attend. He never attends these award ceremonies. He has chosen not to receive these commendations in any form. He does his craft for other reasons. Woody is not “present to win” which means he is not present for this type of energy in his life. Yet I would guess that he is quite present and powerful in his life because it takes a lot of courage and fortitude to stand up against the tide of pressure especially publically. So kudos to Woody Allen for taking up space his way and sticking to it for decades!

Do you have to be present to win? Yes and no. It depends on what you want to win. If you want to win self-respect, autonomy, privacy and live life for your own reasons then that is what you need to be present for, so you win that. But if you want to join the crowd for whatever reason, and receive the accolades of your fans and peers, then yes you need to be present in that format to “win.”

The point here is to decide what it is you want to win. Ask yourself what you want to be “present” for. What is the life you wish to have? Go for that all the way, stick to its unique format and make yourself present for that to win – no matter the opinion of others and what they are choosing to be present for. No I admit this takes courage but if you find the courage once it will be easier the next time to stand up for what you value and be present for that “win” in your life.

May this courage to be our unique selves come easier for all of us in the New Year to come!

‘till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Expand Your Personal Space

Expanding your Personal Space is the expression of your personal empowerment in action. Expanding your space only works if you have first explored what it means to be the authentic you and then put those things you learned about yourself into daily practice. That’s right, Personal Space is a practice; it is the practice of being you, the practice of taking-up-space your way. And just like learning how to cook or drive a car, over time you will do what it takes to be you in the world automatically, instinctively even. Expand Your Space

Your inner bossy-ego voice that tells you to “be like the crowd” will know to keep quiet and save its breath because you are so anchored and confident in your true self your ego can’t sway you any longer to go along with the crowd.

Once you are this firmly established in the practice of being yourself openly, you can have great success at expanding your space. This means moving out of your old habitual “culturally correct” routine and entering the world in a new bold and uniquely “you” manner. And you do this while remaining true to your core values and true self. You will know how be spontaneous and navigate in new territory because your inner senses are fully tuned and can lead you on. In other words you will have a fully active internal compass which will always point you in your true north position.

Expanding your space is not about influencing others. It might seem that this is just what you are doing but that is the ego’s illusion. Expanding your space is more like singing out your Soul’s song vs. just humming it to yourself. Your Personal Space energy is a vibration that is there all the time. It surrounds you and keeps you in tune with yourself, even while you are in the company of other vibrations and tunes – like multiple radio waves that surround us at any given moment. They are invisible to the eye and unheard by the ear unless a tuning device is used and a particular channel chosen. You see, anyone who is influenced by you is in charge of their radio station selection. THEY tuned into you so it’s on them to be influenced by your tune …. or not. Never take credit for another’s success, it can never be yours. It’s all theirs for tuning in and then receiving the message you proclaim. Your credit comes from you sharing openly your Soul’s song with respect for yourself and all others.

So how do tune into yourself, empower your unique voice, and expand your Personal Space power? It starts with a simple practice you do in your Home Space; the Private Power Spot. This is a room or a chair in a designated spot in your home that is all your own. No one else uses this space and you fill it with the things that matter most to you. Once you have your designated spot you begin by spending time here. This is quiet contemplative time. All the other spaces of your life are full of engagement with others, either in person or on TV so this space is just for you. Write, draw, read or just day dream. The point is to get quiet so you can hear the inner voice of your Soul which has all the answers to any question you may have on your mind. Its download, refresh and reboot time and just 15 minutes a day can greatly improve your energy and happiness.

If you don’t have a Private Power Spot check out my website for the free book where I go into detail the methods I use to create one for myself and my clients.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

 

 

 

Tips for Energizing Your Personal Core Space

At the heart of our Personal Space lies our Core Space. Our Core Space travels with us everywhere we go during our day. This is the space that identifies what it means to be uniquely you. Don’t worry if you feel lost as to just who you are for we are constantly evolving as our life grows and changes. We are periodically called upon to re-invent ourselves during the space of our lifetime. Moving away from home, getting a new job in a different city or retiring from work altogether are examples of major life shifts that might rock our boats so to speak from time to time. Establishing a dynamic Core Space involves identifying and owning what matters to you most – what you value in life. Some of what you value as a teen will be different than what you value in your 30’s but not all of it. We are born with a unique set of predispositions due to our DNA and environment so some of our values will stick with us all of our lives. Knowing how to connect with and stay plugged into your Core Space will assist you greatly though all of life’s changes.

Vision Practice ChairHaving a sense of who you are at your “core” is vital for personal empowerment. Defining your core means to identify what it means to be uniquely you. You can do this by doing some self-discovery steps. Start with where you are now and review the activities and things fill your life. This would be where you spend your time and what items you have around you to support you in all that you are doing.

Core Space Review

  • Make a list of your typical day’s activities. Just the highlights will do.
  • Then note next to each activity what space you are in when you do them; such as bathroom, kitchen, car, office etc.… You can be as detailed as you want.
  • Next jot down how much time you spend at each activity
  • Now add up the minutes or hours you spend at each location/space

What you are discovering here is twofold…

First: You are discovering how many spaces you inhabit during the day, the variety of tasks you are involved in and how much time you devote to each task/area. This information will give you the foundation to then determine how all you do is affecting your energy.

Second: You are discovering how it is that you take your personal space with you wherever you go. Part of it travels with you (the clothes, hairstyle) and part is deposited in the space you vacated for when you need it and holds your spot when you vacate the space for a time. Items on your desk for instance like pens or coffee mug.

Once you have identified where you “live” each day and can see with an objective eye what items fill these spaces, you are now ready for the next task…how much of your stuff is in your Core Space vs how much of someone else’s stuff is filling your space?

My Stuff List

List all the items that are yours alone. For instance look at your work desk; most likely the computer, desk and chair belong to the company. But there will be items around your desk for your use that are unique to you and you own them. What you own is key here because what you choose to buy or call yours will give you great insight into the kind of person you are.

Other’s Stuff List

With this list you will want to stop a moment and review what belongs to others and ask yourself if you benefit from having it in your space (such as the company desk) or if it drains your energy (such as a gift you were given but do not love)

It is important to our personal energy to only have items we love in our space but especially in our Core Spaces because love is the highest vibration of energy and you want that for yourself.

Once you have your list of items organized the next step is to remove anything that you find depletes your energy. You can give it away, toss it or even simply move it to a different space – one that is more community space and not your Core Space.

Be sure to keep your Core Spaces full of items that are personal and energizing to you and you will find your life flows more easily as a result.

‘till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach