Body Armor Power Tips

Knights of the realm, in days of old… (sounds like I am writing a fairy tale) used to wear metal armor to protect their body when going into battle. The weapon of the time was a sword or an arrow and the metal armor proved a great protector from harm. However well this armor protected them from arrows and swords it also caused problems under certain circumstances. For instance; if they fell off their horse while crossing a river they would sink and drown. The armor weighed so much it was exhausting to wear. And they couldn’t easily sleep in it so they were not protected when they slept and had to post a guard. Sun Visor Armor

Why am I talking about a knight’s body armor you might ask? Because we too in the modern world where our own body armor, and for the same reason. Some actually wear it to protect themselves from death…fire fighters fireproof gear, police bulletproof vests, astronauts flight suits etc. What about those of us who don’t wear a uniform? What kind of body armor do we wear, and does it serve  or hinder us?

Short List of Possible Body Armor

  • running shoes
  • hiking boots
  • fanny pack that carries water
  • back packs
  • business suits both men and women
  • hospital scrubs
  • sunglasses
  • visors and other hats
  • snow boots

The reason I call this a “short list” of body armor is because the list is actually unlimited. You see anything we put on our body from our clothes to our fragrance can be armor -it all depends upon what our purpose is for appearing in the manner we choose.

Sometimes what we choose is healthy for us and sometimes it is demeaning and damaging to our personal empowerment and energy. I once worked in a network marketing business with a women who made sure she showed extra cleavage pretty much on a daily basis but especially if she was meeting with a male client. I asked her once if she didn’t feel self conscious and she said she used what power she had to get the sale. She actually believed this and from my viewpoint she was hurting herself. Other women made more money than she did in the business and they didn’t expose themselves.

Checklist for Healthy Body Armor

Ask yourself these 3 questions and you will know if what you are choosing to wear is harmful to your energy.

  1. Would I be afraid to go out without my chosen body armor?” If your answer is “yes” then ask – would your body be harmed such as in not wearing running shoes… then it’s a healthy choice, but if it’s yes because you would be afraid emotionally then you would want to examine what else you could do to feel empowered. It might be to not expose yourself to that environment and take that risk.
  2. “Am I hoping to get a certain result for wearing this armor?” Such as my friend with her cleavage – in other words is there a level of dishonesty happening where you are trying to manipulate another, or is it just standard protocol and respectful to wear what you are choosing such as a business suit at a corporate convention and there is a dress code. Remember manipulation might seem like a good idea and even necessary but in the end the only one we are truly manipulating is ourselves- not a very empowering thing to do!
  3. “Is there something I am NOT wearing because I fear ridicule or disapproval?” For instance I tend to wear a visor when I am outside. The Arizona sun really bothers my eyes and it protects me more than just sunglasses do. But it is not stylish and I had to get over not following the current style vs. doing what my body needed.

It is self-empowering to go to bat for yourself and make your actions true to what you need while not demeaning yourself. If you are still stumped about whether your chosen body armor for the day is empowering or not ask yourself if you were talking to your best friend what would you tell them to choose? Always be your own best friend!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

 

Body Armor

Do you wear body armor? I am not talking about the metal kind the knights of old used to wear – no this is the modern kind that we use either deliberately or unconsciously to keep people away.

Body armor can take the form of body posture where we don’t make eye contact and turn our body away from others. We might do this in an elevator if we don’t want to engage in conversation for instance. Our posture can change due to what thoughts we have going on in our head or we can do a posture deliberately like when we pose for a photo. Cooking Armor

The most interesting body armor I find is the one many of us don’t even realize we are wearing and that is our scent. If you don’t wear deodorant or brush your teeth, your bad odor will cause people to back away. Now since most of us don’t like that kind of odor ourselves we usually don’t employ it deliberately because we would make ourselves sick by our own smell -ha!

Then there are the deliberate aromas such as smoking cigarettes, or cigars. Do you wear strong cologne or use hand or body cream that has a strong fragrance? When you are out of sight coming from around the corner do people know you are there because of your scent? Actors, models and many other famous people have had special scents created specifically for them and their signature scent acts as body armor.

If you smoke or wear a very strong scent this is in effect acting as body armor and subconsciously calling people to back off from you, to give you space. Smokers literally create a “smoke screen” around themselves. I find this fascinating because you would think smokers were social since they group together outside of offices to “visit and smoke” but in fact they are only doing a superficial kind of visiting. My mother was a smoker and in hindsight I can see that she used her smoking scent to give herself distance from the ten children she was raising. The activity of smoking can be a form of taking a break from the world as well. I work in a variety of offices around the city and I have noticed that smokers make sure they get their 2 fifteen minute breaks a day…and sometimes even more! While I applaud them on making sure they get a break I wonder if it is more of a hiding from their troubles activity vs. one that is self-empowering. Only they can know for sure how smoking serves them.

Our choice of clothing can also provide body armor for us. Of course we wear clothes to keep warm and be socially acceptable but I am talking about the deliberate use of costumes or uniforms to create a message that will be sent without us ever needing to say a word. Think about a nun’s habit or a police uniform. How about a doctors scrubs or a prep school uniform. This type of clothing says “I am part of a group” so don’t bother taking to me unless you have business with my group. In this photo I am wearing my cooking apron and my family knows that when I put this on they had better stop talking to me or dinner might be ruined or late-lol The apron serves to protect my clothes sure but it also signifies that I am not in visiting mode for a little while.

Take this week and notice what you normally take for granted by checking what you are wearing and ask yourself if there is a purpose to your style of clothes, one that gives  you more power for your day ahead. Notice how you smell, do you wear a fragrance like perfume or does your laundry soap have a powerful aroma? Simply by noticing and realizing what message you are sending adds a punch to your purpose and energizes your choice of body armor. If your armor isn’t a healthy one then see if you can find a new tactic that won’t hurt you in the long run.

It’s important to notice because a message is being sent to others as you go through your day and you want to be sure it’s the message you are meaning to send…one that empowers you!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

 

 

 

Right Brain Guide to Your Dream Career part 2

For the last three Tuesday Tips I have been sharing some techniques I discovered which have helped me find the job/career that I love and in this last segment we will end with the two part Visualization practice. In part one you will actually get quiet and visualize which opens your awareness, and in part two you will carry what you visualized and it’s energy with you during your day to help you become aware of the answers the Universe is sending you.

Time OutVisualization 

Sit quietly with the notepad in front of you and close your eyes…. Use your imagination and visualize yourself doing each of your favorite tasks one at a time….. Get to the place where you can feel what you are doing and how energized and happy it makes you feel….. Stay with this visualization for a few moments and be sure to allow and receive whatever comes to mind, no matter how bizarre it might seem.

When you feel the vision is done, jot down what you saw and then do the next skill (unless you saw more than one skill in the first vision)

Once you have imagined and felt each skill you will take a few deep breaths and visualize a candle flame of light in the center of your heart. Feel its warmth and comfort. Now notice how it illuminates your heart space…..”see it” expand and grow in a circle all around your heart. Take another deep breath and feel this heart light grow and expand to fill your body space…then another deep breath and surround your body in a bubble of light about 7 feet around yourself.

While in this state of expanded energy – imagine your vision again … of you doing and enjoying your desired skills and repeat this phrase I learned from Christie Marie Sheldon… “what would it take,”  and apply your desire at the end. For instance….

  • What would it take for a career/job using these skills (list them) to show up for me…
  • What would it take for me to know where to go to find a job/career I would love doing….
  • What would it take for this to happen quickly and easily for me…
  • What would it take for me to land this new career or position…

You can add any other request after the What Would It Take statement. You may not get an answer right away but stay open because it could come in an unconventional manner. Once you have reviewed your vision you can then take three deep breaths and stretch out your body. Next, write down any ting that came up in your journal.

The point of this exercise is to open you to something new, something you may not have known about or considered. Practice these statements every day and add them as your thoughts…such as when you are at your current job and hating something about it you can simply change your negative vein of thought and think “what would it take for me to love my job, or what would it take for a better job to come my way now” these statements take us up and over the problem where we can see the solution.

Now that you have awakened your Right Intuitive Brain you will want to stay aware of what happens in your life during the day. For the next week or so jot down in your journal any new ideas, or interesting coincidences that appear and see where your new expanded energy field is leading you. Stay with this until you have an answer that excites you. Then take the steps to fulfill your new inspiration.

If for some reason nothing new or exciting is happening I want you to add one more WWIT to your practice…what would it take for me to release all resistance to a new better job/career showing up for me…or what would it take for me to release all blocks to having a new better idea… you get the picture here. If you are not getting a new inspired idea to follow up on then you might be afraid or have a childhood programming that needs to be released.

If you want to know more about this technique check out Christie Marie Sheldon’s website  http://www.loveorabove.com/ – she is a fantastic intuitive healer and knows how to access our powerful hearts energy.

I send you many blessings of love and light as you journey to your next better career/job!

’till next time,
Ginger Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

 

Do You Feel F.I.N.E.?

How are you feeling today?

Take a BreakDo you feel F. I. N. E as in “freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional?” I borrowed this from the movie “The Italian Job.” The first time I heard it I laughed, but then I realized it really was a clever way of describing how we feel when the non-stop monkey mind of the ego is at work running our life. It would be one thing if only our mood was affected when the monkey-mind crazy self defeating thoughts kick in but our thoughts also affect our body. How we feel on any given day usually involves not just our physical body but also our mind as well. If we are in a good “state of mind” we can handle body pain more easily but if we are not in a good state of mind we can actually cause our body to hurt….such as getting a stomach ache, or a headache.

I began to wonder what would be the opposite of F.I.N.E and came up with W.E.L.L. “wonderful, energized, light and limber.” At first when I look at this it seems I am only talking about how my body feels while F.I.N.E. is all about how we are feeling emotionally but the two work together and the choice of how we feel in any given moment is completely ours. If we watch how we react and catch ourselves we can shift our response.

Say a coworker forgets to bring the document you needed for your presentation…you can Freak Out or you could put that emotion on pause for a minute and find something to feel good about -Wonderful about – then take a deep breath and ask “I wonder how I can solve this?” Just because your first preference didn’t happen doesn’t mean all is lost. When you choose to “wonder,” you remain open to new ideas and sometimes an even better option. Look at the word wonderful = wonder + full. When we wonder we allow ourselves to fill up with new ideas and options. Keeping our mind open will always result in better energy and solutions.

To be Energized vs. Insecure is a matter of monitoring your self-talk. If you choose to “assume positive intent” when you are dealing with people instead of going with your insecure feelings your energy will soar. So the next time you pass a co-worker and they don’t smile at you, assume they are having a tough day instead of thinking they are mad at you. Then go about doing what you can to help them if you want.

Feeling Light  means to take life lightly like a butterfly would knowing in the next moment things will be different. Humor is a great tool to use when you need to “lighten-up” and feel better. Even if the subject at hand isn’t funny you can take a break to watch or read something funny and then your perspective will shift and the issue that was making you Emotional will feel better. To feel and respond to life Emotionally is a very heavy feeling that weighs you down and makes it hard to shift, adjust and think. Now I am one for saying to feel what is real in the moment but to act on Emotional feelings can only cause us trouble. Take a time out and process the emotions and then return to manage the issue going on.

To be Limber vs. Neurotic is to be able to go with the flow. When we get neurotic we constantly doubt ourselves and the events around us and we cling and hold on to the way things are. This gets us into trouble because “things” are always changing and to cling will only upset us in the end. Be agile in your thinking and feelings to bend with the changes and you will have excellent energy. It takes a lot of energy to maintain neurosis for this means clinging and gripping and clenching. If when in a neurotic state you need to double and triple check to be sure things are “right” then you are going to be exhausted at the end of the day because “right” is just an illusion. Right for now is how life works and in the next moment things change.

So try playing with these two acronyms and see if you can switch from feeling F.I.N.E to feeling W.E.L.L. when a crisis occurs and your energy will rebound as well.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

 

 

Right Brain Guide to Your Dream Career – Part 1

In the last two Tuesday Tips I went over some steps you can take to find a career/job you love. I won’t go over them here or mention why you might want to do this (I am sure you can imagine why on your own.) For this week I want to show you how to access your Intuitive Wisdom which lives in your Soulful heart and is accessed by using your Right Brain and get connected to work you love.
FullSizeRender

For this practice you will want to get in a room by yourself where you won’t be interrupted. Have your journal or a notebook handy to write your thoughts down and then take the List of Jobs (you have held)  and the List of Skills (you have mastered) that you created last time, and while you look them over ask yourself these questions and answer them using the Free Form Writing technique. This is where you write without editing, you write fast and you write whatever comes up without any filters. It is best done by hand but you can use your computer if you wish.

Intuitive Wisdom Questions with Free Form Writing

  • If I was doing this work every day ….add in your top 5 favorite skills….. what might the job be called? Write down whatever comes up, even if its completely odd sounding a made up.
  • If I was going to create a job that used these skills….add in your top 5 favorite skills ….. what might I call it-who would this work be for….describe all that comes to you.
  • Do I know anyone (personally or famous) who is doing these skills (your top 5) on a daily basis for money? If yes, jot down who they are.
  • Now, as quickly as you can, write down any jobs that come to mind either working for someone else or as an entrepreneur for yourself that would use some or all of your favorite skills. Don’t eliminate any possibilities, don’t ask if you’d like the job and definitely don’t eliminate an idea because you don’t think you are qualified.
  • Next apply the “I wonder” phrase to your statements….such as; “I wonder where I can find a job that uses these skills,” “I wonder what a job using these skills might be called,”
  • Add any other statement you have in your mind, just start it with “I wonder” because this switches from your Left Brain which might not know the answer to your Right Brain which holds the larger more creative view of life.

For this next week you will want to monitor your language when you either think about or talk about wanting a new job. Instead of saying “I just don’t know what I want to do next,” you will add at the end just one word…”YET!” And you can also add “I wonder” to the start of your thought or statement but in case you forget, just pop in a “Yet” because this will help to keep you open. Let’s face it, if you already knew consciously what new work you wanted to do you would be doing it or going to get it…but you feel blocked. So it means something new and until now un-imagined is waiting for you, so it will take opening up your Right Brain to bring it into focus where you can see it, and go get it!

I send you many blessings of love and light as you journey to your next better career/job!

’till next time,
Ginger Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

 

Career Solutions

Last week I gave you my “Career Questionnaire” tip on how to use all the jobs you have ever held and turn them into a guide for helping you to find new work you will love doing. We made a list of all the jobs you have ever done, broke them down into skills needed to do the job and then categorized them into skills you love doing vs. don’t love doing.

Journal Writing

Having a job we love is important because our job or career takes up most of our time and energy. We spend over half of our day and more than ¾ of our waking hours on the job; either getting ready for it, driving to or from it, or working at the office/location itself. If you put in 8 hours on the job you have actually put in 9 because you had to take a lunch most likely with coworkers – so no personal time there. Then add two more hours for drive time and prep for work. That ends up being on average 11-13 hours of your day and we still need 8 hours of sleep which means only 3 hours left of free time. So not only is doing the work you love important because you have a unique gift to share with the world, it’s important for your overall health and energy they you enjoy your life!

Career Solutions Guide:
  • Take your “Career Questionnaire” from last week and look over the list of skills you created. If you haven’t made a third list of just the skills and talents you love to do make that list now.
  • Next to each skill or talent see if you can imagine a job or opportunity that uses that skill – write it down
  • Go on-line and Google that skill or talent. Your search might read…”jobs that use x-y-z- talent” and see what you find and note them down
  • Circle any of the job opportunities you found that sound good to you
  • If you are feeling the connection with any of the careers/jobs that you saw – go online and visit a job search website and see if you can find any jobs posted that use the skill set you want to offer. If you find something you like work up a resume next and apply.
  • If you are not ready to apply you can note down where these jobs are and do what is called an “informational interview.” This is where you list the questions you have about this position or company, call and make an appointment for the interview and meet with them to learn more about the career. There are tips online for creating a good interview list.

Until now we have been working with your Left Brain and are being very logical and through. Our next task is to use our Right Brain and get more intuitive because it is from this side of our psyche that our passion for life comes from and we want a new job that we feel passionate about. Feeling passion is a sign your Soul Space has been activated.

Next Tuesday Tips I will take you through a Right Brain exercise to help you get the career of your dreams!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Car Space

I love my car. I really mean it. She has a gender, a name – Ruby Tuesday Picard, and I actually celebrate her birthdays. Ruby turned “Sweet 16” recently and since I couldn’t take my usual road trip due to work, I took her through a Starbucks drive-thru for a chocolate cookie…okay the cookie was for me but Ruby got to be on the new TV monitor this Starbucks has…so that was special-lol

Ruby Sweet 16Unless you also treat your car as a family member you might think I am a bit strange, but to me it makes perfect sense. You see our cars act as a shield or force field that supports us as we “space travel.” Yep, I said “space” travel – what else would you call my ability to go 80 miles an hour down a freeway, especially at night where I can barely see a few hundred feet in front of me? We travel through time and space faster in our cars than we could on foot, horseback or bicycle. The next fasted we could go would be inside of an airplane and then of course a space ship. But I for one don’t want a rocket moving me about while I am connected to a road with traffic-ha!

In any case my point is, I take my life in my hands each time I start up my car and drive her someplace. I am counting on her tires holding up, her steering and braking systems to function and for the windows to work so I don’t get hit by bugs or birds (I feel sorry for motorcyclists.) Because I have a car I can go places! I can get a job across town, drive to the ocean or bring my groceries home before they spoil. I don’t have that freedom if I ride public transit. I am not knocking public transit for it is a wonderful system – it’s just that I have more freedom with my own transportation vehicle…more Personal Space freedom/empowerment.

Car Space has it’s own energy as well. Many of us use our cars as a second home; we use them as an office, we eat meals in our car, even sleep in our car and of course many of us have made love in our cars. 🙂  The front passenger seat or the back can be loaded with boxes and files and items we need to do business while on the road. I got a RAV 4 so I could cart my large canvas paintings, and my fabric samples when I was an active designer.

My car Ruby has been super reliable for the past 16 years. Very simple to keep going with no major glitches, and I am eternally grateful not only for the safety she provides, but because I haven’t had to waste time getting her to the garage for repairs. I can count on my car and this means a lot to each of us.

Our cars reflect and support our personalities and our life styles. They are a shining example of our expression of our Personal Space energy and they enable us to empower our dreams by transporting us where we need to go.

Now can you see why I love my car? Happy Sweet 16th Birthday Ruby!

Write back and tell me about your car.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Career Questions

Have you ever wondered if you are working at your best career? Perhaps you don’t love your job, but you don’t know what you might like better. This restless feeling hits all of us from time to time. My theory is we are in our perfect job at our perfect time right now…until it’s time to change. Everything that happens has a gift and benefit for us – so don’t bemoan your current situation, bless it and use it as information for moving on and getting something better. There are clues all around you, and here is what I have done to get a job/career I would love. FullSizeRender

Career Questionnaire:

  • Grab a legal pad of paper and a pen. Look back over your life and create a list of jobs (paid and volunteer) you have had using three columns that you title – Loved – Just Ok – Hated. Take your time; perhaps give yourself a week to do this. Start in chronological order and go as far back as you can. Yep, include that lemonade stand when you were a child. Basically a “job” is anything you did that others benefited from or depended upon you to do such as babysitting, surgery, answering the phones etc. Keep bosses/co-workers out of this evaluation if you can, and just look at the work you did. Be sure to list everything you did, especially the work you didn’t get paid for. For example say in High School you were in the band…was playing in the band a “Loved” or “Hated” work experience? As you remember a job place it under the category that fits it best.
  • Number your list of jobs from first to current in chronological order.
  • Take a separate sheet of paper from your legal pad, and as you look over the 3 column list of jobs, start jotting down the different skill sets you needed to do the jobs in the “Loved” column. Start with the first and work through to the last but if you find a matching skill set instead of writing it down again just put the job number next to it. This list will give you a good idea of what your current skills and talents are. For example the Lemonade Stand – if your Mom made the lemonade for you then don’t include that part of this jobs skill set. Did you sit at a table taking and filling orders? Did you make the sign advertising the sale? Did you go door to door inviting people? Were you shy and quiet and did the pouring? Did you enjoy the set up and the take down of the stand?
  • After you work through the “Loved” list of jobs, go through the “Just Ok” and “Hated” lists and note down what skills they used. Just add their job number to a skill you already listed or write in a new skill if needed.
  • Now you want to look at the list of skills you have learned, mastered and offered as a service to others. Stop for a moment and pat yourself on the back for learning so much and being so valuable to others in your life.
  • Next circle all the skills you really love to do. These are the ones you could happily do all day long.
  • Next underline the skills you don’t necessarily love but don’t actually mind doing from time to time.
  • Take a different sheet of paper and list down all the skill sets you just circled. Notice we are no longer talking about a job title or career, just the skills and talents you actually enjoy doing. You many notice there are a ton of things you are able to do and do well, but you don’t really love doing them. No job will give you only what you love to do, but the idea here is to get at least 60% of what you love doing to be a part of your work day.

Now that you have your list of what you love to do you will begin to play with it. Next Tuesday I will give you more tips for how to turn this list into a job you will love.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

Showing Up For Jury Duty

I was called to jury duty recently and I was surprised to find out just how vital it is for potential jurors to simply show up for the day and wait. Until I watched an introduction video they now play while you wait, I hadn’t realized how crucial it is for jurors to simply be available for the day in case they are needed.

Just by showing up we fulfill a purpose even if we are not chosen. Today there are over 200 of us here on call – on stand-by – wondering if we will be picked. Behind the scenes, this video explains, our statistics are being evaluated by multiple judges and lawyers to see if we are a good fit for the case they need to try. They have over 20 dockets today to fill with each needing 6 to 12 jurors apiece and they want a large selection to choose from.

Apples in basketThis scenario reminds me of buying produce at the market. Who wants to walk up to the bin of apples and have only 20 to choose from especially when you need to purchase 12? No, we all want a large selection from which to take our pick, and we want the ability to scan and observe what’s there in front of us ready for purchase. If we don’t’ have a selection to choose from we can’t get on with the business at hand.

Even if all of the apples are “the same” as in say, all are the mackintosh variety, we still have preferences such as wanting shiny apples vs dull unpolished ones. Or perhaps we want stems on them because our collection is to be used for a centerpiece. We may want a variety of sizes or only all small ones….the point I am making is that only we ourselves know just what we need. Some of what we know is factual and some is through instinct so if we don’t’ have the full selection to choose from right in front of us we can’t make our best decision.

I admit I felt better once I realized that I was already fulfilling a purpose just by sitting there being available. It can be boring and discouraging to “waste” a day waiting on jury duty selection and now I know it’s not a waste at all, and if I ever need a jury I sure hope my neighbors will show up to lend their time and energy toward helping me solve my legal dilemma.

So at jury duty selection my very own Personal Space presence is needed. Just by sitting at the courthouse space vs in my home space I am fulfilling a vital need. Amazing isn’t it?

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Self-Conscious Challenges

I wrote about feeling self conscious recently because I was experienceing a work environment that was a bit distracting. But the sensation of feeling “self-conscious” actually comes from within us not from our environment. It originates from our thoughts and beliefs about the environment. Often our thoughts and beliefs are subconscious and are driven by the internal voice we all have that just won’t shut up.” This is not 9-6-11 Mom's Sedona Birthday (36)the Inner Voice of our Heart/Soul Space but the collection of all the “should-can’ts- don’ts” that we have heard throughout our lives. If you stop to listen and note the things being played on a contiguous loop in your mind you might even be able to name who told you that; such as a school teacher, a sibling or a parent. You can then go deeper and acknowledge that they may believe that statement but you don’t. Then you can consciously choose to “let it go” – I love using bubbles or balloons to symbolize the letting go of an old sub-conscious belief. It makes the process fun and adds humor which is always good medicine. 🙂

Every now and then I get judgmental about how others “see” me or what they are thinking about me and my actions. Now how in the world can I even know what others see or think? I can’t! I am not behind their eyes or in their mind. Unless they say something or I get a non-verbal reaction I simply have no clue as to what they are thinking and yet I “go there” and have this crazy conversation in my head and before long I don’t feel very good.

I did it the other day. I am trying to stop and laugh at myself when I do this and it usually works but Tuesday was difficult. This is my crazy story…see if you can relate.

I had discovered on Monday that the spot I have to park my car while at my temporary job leaves it in the west sun by 5:00 when I leave. Now this is Phoenix, Arizona and we are at 110 degrees by then, so my seat, arm rest and steering wheel were too hot to touch! My 1999 RAV 4 does not have tinted windows.

So the next day I grabbed a bath towel in the color of my car and hung it in my window which now blocks the west sun from cooking my seat and steering wheel. Good fix, right? But I can see my car from the receptionist desk and this is a nice place – a design center – and suddenly I feel like people are judging me and my car. It looks okay and most Arizonans are fine with this behavior but I have been judging myself all day over it.

So what did I do? Did I stop the Monkey Mind judgment voice or listen to it, take the towel down, and have a blazing hot car when I go home?

I’ll tell you. I choose to ignore this insane voice (which originates from an older sister) and to laugh at it. I also have a crazy refrain that keeps popping up now that I am almost 60 years old (one year to go) and that is “I’m too freaking old to care about this anymore” lol What this means is that I know better now. I know from years of experience doing the self-judgement voice that most people don’t know, see or care about me and how I look or what I am doing. Most people are so self-absorbed (like I am being with my self-criticism) to even be aware of me and my little idiosyncrasies.

Tips For Healing Our Self-Judgmental Voice

  • Stop and listen to it – write down what was said
  • Ask yourself if you believe this anymore
  • Ask yourself who gave you this belief – then write under it “I forgive you” which means you know they were doing the best they could and you are now letting go of their words – “forgive” means to give-up.
  • Next, find a way to symbolize letting go of the belief. You can carry bubbles with you and visualize them leaving as you blow a bubble.
  • If you wrote it on paper, you could rip it into shreds and toss it where it will be out of your house. You can flush it if it is tiny, or safely burn the paper and visualize the thought/belief disintegrating into thin air.

It’s not easy catching our thoughts, so when we do it really helps if we take a moment to examine them. Feeling good is an internal job, one we can all make a priority. How do you handle the self-judgmental voice? Share your story and how you solved it – we all learn together this way.

’till next time
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach