Pain Relieving Tips – Part 1

Obviously I can’t go into every technique available for healing the pain we get while living our lives, but I want to point you in a helpful direction. I was looking for a healthy and permanent solution and healing if possible. The tips in these next two blog posts are ones I found that helped me in my quest to heal without the help of medications.

Pain ReliefStop Running From Your Pain – Until the late 80’s I spent my life running from pain – I thought that was how to deal with it best. I stopped running and began listening to my pain because running didn’t seem to work for me anymore. I must say if I had know where it would take me (short term) I wouldn’t have been able to do it; however long term I am so extremely glad I didn’t know and did follow the training I was being given because today I feel better than ever!!

Long story short, listening to my pain back then led me to reveal repressed memories of physical abuse as a child. Once I moved through all of that and released it from my mind and body (with the help of therapy and body work) I was a new person! Professional help was my first step and the second step was all up to me; getting on with my life as this new person.

Today I can usually laugh at my pain…and mean it! I don’t see it as an enemy or if I do I don’t stay there for long because I eventually remember that my pain has been with me through thick and thin and when I listen it has protected me in more ways than I can count.

Pay Attention – pain LOVES attention that is why it is “screaming as us with sensations that hurt; so just listening can cause pain to diminish greatly. Have you ever experienced being sick with the flu and miserable for days then finally making the appointment to go see the doctor and suddenly you don’t feel as sick as you had? Pain gives us relief as a sign we are on the right track…pay attention!!

Talk to someone – sharing what you are going through not only helps you to give a voice to the pain- which releases some of its energy from your body – it also opens you to receiving an answer. If what you are doing isn’t working then you want to open to a new idea, and your friend or family member might just have an idea that will help you. Also voicing your fears out loud will help you to hear the answer that dwells inside of you. Using our loved ones as “sounding boards” is a big help. You will want to let them know that is what you need so that they don’t take on your pain or try to fix you.

Journal about your pain – sit quietly with a pen and paper do what is called “free association writing.” This is writing done for the purpose of opening you to what you feel in the moment. No editing as you write; not your content or punctuation, just let it rip. I have experienced great release and relief doing this and if it is extreme emotional pain I am moving through I may even rip up and toss out my paper after to complete the release of holding on to the pain.

I hope these tips prove helpful to you as well. Next week I’ll share more of my Pain Relieving Tips with you.

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©

Pain-Your Best Friend

No matter how your pain originates you have choices to make which will determine its impact in your life. There is an old Zen saying;

“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”

Make Friends with PainBut how many of us opt-out of suffering? Even the TV ads, news ads, magazine ads and our coworkers expect us to suffer and they will join in with us… “misery loves company” after all. Billion dollar businesses are supported each day by our choosing to knock out our suffering with drugs. Pain is an amazing motivator causing us to write songs about a broken heart, invent a product to solve a physical pain issue (hot pads) and it will guide us in our relationships.

We experience pain in one of two ways or the two ways combined;
Physical pain– a paper cut is an example. Sudden, pain which we deal with immediately and move on without much thought or emotional attachment
Emotional pain – a broken heart, disappointment, depression and other feelings that have no physical connection and are usually mentally centered
Combo Pain – either physical pain or emotional pain can trigger the other to “join-in”- for instance that paper cut …. if you added insulting thoughts like “how clumsy I am” to the mix, this would create even more pain than the cut gave you.
No one likes pain but personally I believe pain is our friend. Without pain we would get into some serious trouble, in fact I could go so far as to say pain keeps us alive and well.

Think about it.

Physical Pain – Why don’t you pick up the cookie sheet with your bare hands? Pain stops you. Either you did it by accident before, or you learned some other way that hot things hurt, and can cause serious damage to your body.
Emotional Pain – You might be shopping at a store and notice a teller getting yelled at by a customer. Emotional pain enters your body (Eckart Tolle calls this the Pain Body) as you recall a moment you’ve been publicly criticized. Pain motivates you to back away, maybe ever go to find a security guard for help. Pain awakened you to a potential problem, and got you to stop and perhaps go get help before going to the checkout stand at this time.

Just like with people who want to communicate something with you; you can run, you can hide, you can turn and hear them and you can engage and see what they are all about. Pain is just like a person who want’s to be your friend, a friend who will always look out for your best interests and it does this by alerting you to any and all danger that appears in your personal space. Stop running away from or ignoring this pain-friend because unlike with people you really can’t hide from pain, it will just get louder and more serious until you stop and notice.

So take a moment and stop when you feel pain calling to get your attention. Try making friends with your pain by sitting and hearing what message or gift it has for you. Follow the advice your pain-friend has to offer and see how much better you feel overall!

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©

How To Laugh At Your Pain

Can you laugh at your pain? Why would you even want to? Now, I don’t say this is an easy task to do especially at first but give it time and you will find it shortens the duration of the pain you feel and you suffer less.
Why laugh at pain? Well because most of us see pain as a bother, as an enemy as a villain in our life. But we laugh with friends, we stop and enjoy a good joke, and guess what…. the best way to “treat” pain is to give it our time and attention and listen to its message and cooperate with it. This will happen more often if you can find joy in spite of the pain….

“Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” Joseph Campbell

Rooster on CarDepending upon the kind of pain you are currently feeling, this is how I recommend you try the laughter trick…
Current sudden physical pain…. You can stop and while you handle it (band aide, aspirin etc) you can bring to mind a movie or TV show you saw where someone had this happen and it was a comedy routine. There are tons of bits where comedians stumble and fall and we all laugh. So instead of insulting yourself for being clumsy; complement yourself for being silly and klutzy!! I like to think of Dick Van Dyke when I have these moments, his TV show, his movies are all full of him being “hurt” and we all laugh.

Switch from suffering to laughter…. Say you’ve had an accident of some kind, notice how bad this accident was then compare it to how it “could” have been and how lucky you are it wasn’t… say you burned your index finger but you didn’t drop the pot roast and ruin it… that kind of thinking. This will give you that slight relief chuckle that often diffuses the pain and keep it from building.

An Old Hurt….If you find you are dealing with an old hurt of any kind, one that has been around a while you can laugh at it by simply saying “oh, there I go again” and consider all the Country Western and other kinds of woe-is-me love songs. I think the blues were created to give deep emotional pain a voice, and funny enough just by singing it out you end up feeling better.

Basically laughter is a way to stop “watering the problem” pain has come to show you and just deal with it, and move on. The lighter you handle it the less weight it becomes and the easier for it to float away resolved.
Another gift you receive from laughing at your pain is that you must understand it and its message in order to find humor out of the situation. Understanding pain is just what it came to you for, and once it is understood and handled pain will leave.

Another way to apply  humor to the pain you are experiencing is to stop from being “in” pain and step aside and witness yourself  having the experience of pain like you would a child or friend. From this witness perspective of yourself you can see how you would handle this as a friend or mother to the person in pain. You would comfort them and cheer them up. Then do that for yourself right away and pain will be relieved.

Listen to your pain, follow it’s guidance and then have a good laugh to lighten your load. Relief feels wonderful so give yourself a break and try laughing at your pain next time it comes to call.

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©

PS – Yes that rooster in this photo is ON my car!! I was sitting at my local farm- park taking a personal time out when one of the flock in the field decided to get serious about asking for food. It scared me at first, then I began to laugh. I got him off by using my windshield wipers- yep, laughing at all kinds of pain really works!

Pain-The Great Awakener

There is nothing more personal than pain. No one can feel it for you, and usually others don’t even know when you are in pain. Pain will usually originate from one of these two forms:

  1. Emotional pain – such as sadness, depression, and grief usually originates from our thinking which is driven by our beliefs and life conditioning.
  2. Physical pain – which typically originates from an injury or ailment and often will have a mental pattern component driving the pain.

It helps to identify the source of the pain if you can, because once you find the source you can better work with it, and solve the problem pain came to fix. I know, it sure doesn’t seem like pain is a problem solver, it feels more like a problem maker but indeed pain is one of the main protectors of our bodies and minds. No matter where pain originates, if ignored or masked and not dealt with directly, it can shift, build and get “louder.” Physical pain can create emotional pain and emotional pain can create physical pain in the body.

Pain wants our attention and most of us just tend to tell it to “shut up” instead of stopping and listening. Remember pain is one of the languages our “inner physician” will use to communicate with us. So listening to pain is highly valuable. Most of the advertisements in the media today will tell you pain is your enemy and you must “buy this” and make it all go away. But if you do attempt to block pains message by popping a pill, mood altering with food (my old favorite), drowning it in alcohol, shopping or excessive exercise, you will miss the awakening pain came to bring you. Yep, pain comes when we need a wake-up call. The only problem is it doesn’t speak with words; it speaks much like our dreams do, in a mysterious emphatic language.

Personal Space – Pain Resolution Steps:

  • STOP: notice and feel the pain
  • Label it; did it originate as emotional or physical?
  • Is it new pain or old lingering pain?
  • If it’s new ask what it is trying to wake-up in you? This could be; slow down, pay attention, take a break, eat, etc.
  • If it is old pain, let it guide you just for today, and unravel its gift-message for now and respond. For instance; today your knee is tripping out on you and it hurts. So for today you can massage it, rest often, use heat. Do what it takes in the “now” moment to answer its call.
  • Then when you can take the time to “be” with your pain, ask yourself what else it is trying to tell you such as; call your doctor, get an x-ray, see an acupuncturist, research dietary changes, and exercise therapy.

The longer we ignore the pain we feel today the more multi-layered its directions are to us to solve it. And each “awakening” wake-up call will get louder and louder until we cannot ignore pains message any longer.

What kind of “pain” messages are you receiving today? We get them all the time… hunger pain when it’s time to eat, thirst pain for it’s time to drink, fatigue for time to sit, stiffness pain for it’s time to stretch, bladder pain for it’s time to use the bathroom etc. Learn to honor and respect the language your inner physician (body) uses; it is the best friend you will ever have!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this….

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©



The Body “Check-List”

This is a tip I recommend that you do daily. It takes just 15 minutes and will benefit you greatly.

For an all day energy boost, I recommend that you do this once you are ready for your day,  but before you leave the house, or start your day’s activities. If I am having a challenging day, I will stop and do this during my day as well. Some days can be overwhelming and this helps center and ground me if I get out of sync with my energy. Being out-of-sync feels like being out of your body, where our energy is “out there” in the world of issues, problems to be solved etc. The only way to live powerfully is to stay in our own space of energy. It is from this space that we get our best answers.

The inspiration for this daily Body “Check-List” came to me after I took my first small airplane ride. I had been given the gift of a flight to Prescott, AZ in a Piper two-seater. I even got to fly the plane a little! I was impressed with the steps my pilot friend went through before we could take off. It’s called a “pre-flight check-list” and no pilot who values their life would ever go up in their aircraft without making sure the plane was in top condition for flight. After all, having trouble in the sky (where we are not naturally meant to be) could be a BIG deal! As part of their  flight routine, each pilot goes through a detailed check-list to make sure the plane is flight worthy; if it doesn’t pass every item on the list, they don’t fly until it can.

Is your body life worthy today? Are all systems up and running smoothly? If we don’t stop to check-in we could run into “turbulence” and “engine failure” as we move through our day. Try this check-list out and see if it helps you “fly” smoothly through your day.

The Body “Check-List”

  1. Sit comfortably
    • Take three deep cleansing breaths (more if you like) until you feel relaxed and unhurried
    • Close your eyes and place your attention on your feet. Can you feel your toes, shoes, or the floor?
    • Just notice your feet for a moment
    • Place your energy there, using your mental focus try to be firmly planted in your feet, in your personal space
    • Now pay attention to how your feet feel; are they cold, warm, itchy, or just right?
    • If you notice any kind of pain or discomfort make a mental note of it, take a deep breath and focus on relaxing and releasing the discomfort as your breath is release.
  2. Follow this same technique, of Notice – Feel – Breath – Release – Relax as you move up your body….
    • Focus your attention on your calves – tense and release them
    • Focus your attention on your knees – stretch and bend them while you sit in the chair
    • Focus your attention on your thighs
    • Focus your attention on your hips and butt. Feel your body resting in the chair, notice how the chair (or floor) grounds you, supports you
    • Focus your attention on your belly – how does this feel? Is it hollow or full
    • Focus your attention on your chest– take a few deep breaths and notice the rise and fall of your chest as air moves in and out
    • Focus your attention on your back – lower back, middle back, upper back – is there something weighing on your back? Work pressure, worries or are you feeling light
    • Focus your attention on your shoulders -shrug them, shift them, shake them out if needed
    • Focus your attention on your neck – move it around a little to loosen it up
    • Focus your  attention left arm then your right arm
    • Focus your attention on your hands, wiggle your fingers, shake out your hands
    • Your your attention head

Once you have finished your Body “Check-List” take three deep breaths and open your eyes. Next follow through on any guidance you discovered….such as change your shoes, put on a jacket, drink water, apply body lotion… whatever you find your body needs to be ready for the day – do that now before you get busy, or  get in your car to drive to work. You will find that even if your body passes this check list without any needed adjustments that just doing this Body “Check-List” will anchor, and ground your energy, and keep you balanced as you move through your day.

I’d love to hear how this work for you.

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©



Finding My Voice

Have you have ever disagreed with your doctor’s advice? Have you spoken up and told them “no, I won’t be doing that, I will try this instead?” Well for most of my life I thought doctors were just another version of “God” and who was I to question their sage advice? In my family we basically turned over our body to the doctor and his training and did as we were told. Sound familiar?

I don’t go along with that thinking anymore; and this is saying a lot because I come from a family of doctors, nurses and other health care practitioners!! My uncle was a Captain in the Navy and “the” doctor in charge of the Navel Hospital in California!! So questioning authority took awhile for me to get the hang of, but now that, I have I’ll never go back! This is MY body after all, and I am the one who lives inside and knows what is going on.  I alone know what is best for me!! I still go to doctors when I feel the need. I think of them as being on my team; with me as the head of the team. I take their information under consideration, and make my own decisions.

A recent example shows how owning your Body Space and knowing your worth can really pay off. About two years ago I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Thanks to years of practicing better personal space habits, I found my voice was strong enough to stand up to my “pill pushing” doctor. She was taking the standard route, prescribing the usual pharmaceuticals for Type 2 diabetes. I had no idea when I left her office what I would do to heal my condition, but I knew I didn’t want to be on medicine for the rest of my life. So I told her I wasn’t ready to go that route yet, and I began to research.

To my surprise this didn’t take any time at all!! My intention was so strong and my determination so intense that without even trying I just “happened” to find a program on PBS about healing Type 2 Diabetes with diet; Dr Mark Hyman’s The Blood Sugar Solution. [easyazon_link asin=”031612737X” locale=”US” new_window=”default” nofollow=”default” tag=”persspaccoac-20″]The Blood Sugar Solution[/easyazon_link]Then I got an email from some connection about a diet cleanse that was not extreme and very healing. To this day I still don’t know how I got that email! The “Clean” program by Dr Alejandro Junger has been my eating program ever since. [easyazon_link asin=”0061735337″ locale=”US” new_window=”default” nofollow=”default” tag=”persspaccoac-20″]Clean[/easyazon_link] I not only released 60 pounds, but the diabetes is gone completely!

Now this story has a happy ending, but I must admit the process did not happen overnight. I had to grieve for the foods I could no longer eat if I wanted to be healthy. But through trial and error, and staying conscious, I began to make friends with my body, and my inner physician let me know clearly what worked and what didn’t. It wasn’t long before I grew to love the foods that made me feel well, and I no longer want the ones that do not.

The experience and transformation I went through during the past two years is what I call a personal “re-boot.” We can have these in any area of personal space where we are transitioning from one way of living to another.

I still work with my doctor and let her test my blood and all but I am a partner in my health, not a victim. I found and used my voice to speak up for what I knew to be true for me (my body doesn’t react well to pharmaceuticals) and I accepted, then acted on what I knew. Our voice is only as strong as the action we take to back it up. And best of all I feel better emotionally; happier than ever and really psyched by this new level of personal power and success!

Write and let me know about how you’ve found your voice, I’d love to hear your story.

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©




Meet Your Inner Physician!

Well, it’s time to get personal. I know this blog site is called “Personal Space” but most of the tips I give you on the Tuesday Tips blog have been about your home decor. Today we will get truly personal and talk about your body. No, you don’t need to run for the hills I won’t share TMI, because after all, another component of personal space is healthy, self-respecting boundaries. That being said, I have a whole slew of Body Space trips to share with you that I have learned over the years.

Your Inner Physician

To start I want to introduce you to your very own “personal” inner physician. Did you know you have one? Some people refer to this part of our psyche as our “inner voice” and while the inner physician may speak to us in thoughts, more than likely your physician will “speak” in sensations of energy. I was first introduced to my own inner physician 20 years ago while receiving Cranio Sacral Therapy; which is a form of body work for healing pain. It turns out I had already been in communication with my inner physician, I just didn’t realize it.

For example: Have you ever had a headache? What did you do about it? How did you decided to do what you did? Was your action automatic, or did you consider different options – like take a nap, drink water, meditate, take Advil? This alert message from your body, in the form of a headache, is what is known as the Body-Mind communicating a need to you. You see, we think we take care of our bodies, but in truth it’s our bodies that take care of us! The headache is body-language for “something is out of balance and you need to remedy it now!” You can pop a pill to shut the headache up and keep going if that is your choice, but be warned, your inner physician will let you know if that was the best solution. If not the headache won’t abate and a new idea will “pop” into your head. This is your body or inner physician taking care of you, and the better we listen and respond with our best solution the healthier and happier we will be.

To keep your energy balanced and strong during the day you most likely stop and take breaks to drink, and eat, and use the bathroom. Perhaps you even stretch or take a lunch time walk. The “nudge” to do these things; the hunger feeling, the restlessness, the fatigue, all of these communications are how our inner physician “speaks” to us all day long.

“Phone Home ET!” Have you “checked-in” with your body yet today? Is there open communication between you and your inner physician? Are you having an open dialog or are you arguing with your “self” and pushing your energy and health to it’s’ limit? The one thing you can count on, is that your inner physician won’t ever give up on you. One way or another, your inner physician’s communication system will get your attention. Will it be to alert you with a headache, or will it be with a yawn for more air, or a feeling of contentment and joy because you are in tune with what your body needs?

Today’s tip: Stop and see if you can identify your inner physician and how he or she “speaks” to you throughout your day. Practice self-awareness by carrying on a “conversation” with your inner physician in your thoughts. Then notice how your inner knowing and best answers get louder in your consciousness. The more you follow your inner wisdom’s advice, the better your health and energy will be. Tune into this part of your body; get to know your inner physician, start working together as a team  and watch your energy and happiness soar!

’till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©


Take A Personal Space Day

Have you ever taken a day off “just because?”

I call this a “personal space” day – that time and space you need and don’t necessarily know why and sure don’t feel like explaining it to anyone.  The urge for a personal space day comes up from time to time for all of us. I don’t think we take enough of them. These are different from days off, vacation or sick days in that they come about for no good reason! In fact I suggest that you don’t try to justify a personal space day with a reason; just go with the flow. That decision alone is a vacation from what you usually do. 9-6-11 Mom's Sedona Birthday (36)

You might ask; “How will I know if I need a personal space day if I don’t have a reason?” You will know because of how you feel. This is a feeling from deep within; it’s not sad, it’s not angry but it is vaguely restless, sometimes moody and very often uncertain as to what you are feeling. Giving yourself space and time to just “chill” will usually bring up what you need to do to refresh and revive yourself. This is usually a day to yourself but sometimes it can include others who are feeling the same vibe and are in sync with you.

There is a quote from the movie [easyazon_link asin=”B003ASLJK4″ locale=”US” new_window=”default” nofollow=”default” tag=”persspaccoac-20″]The Bridges of Madison County[/easyazon_link]The Bridges of Madison County that I love and use often when taking a personal space day;
                          “We let the day take us where it wanted.”

That in a nutshell is a personal space day; the urge to just up and leave and let serendipity take over. It’s a rest from everything; action, decision, thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Just go with the flow of what comes up. Usually an inspiration is trying to surface but your busy life won’t let it in. Just wait and see what comes up. Keep your journal handy if you want.

When was the last time you took a day off and did “nothing?” How often do you allow yourself this kind of time? I’d love to hear your stories. If you have never taken a personal space day give it a try soon; you’ll be glad you did!

Drop me a line I’d love to hear your thoughts…

‘till next time,
Your Personal Space Coach©