Take a Day for Yourself!

Have you ever taken a day off  just because you wanted to? I admit it wasn’t until I hit 40 that I started doing this and then it was some time later until I felt no guilt over it.

9-6-11 Mom's Sedona Birthday (36)Isn’t it funny how we don’t hesitate to give our car gas (and we don’t wait until it is empty either) but for our own bodies we put off rest and fun? When you fully own your Personal Space you will never hesitate to respect yourself by taking the time and space you either need or want. You won’t be pushing yourself without balancing this “push-time” with equal or greater “off-time” and you will know that if your Soul calls for you to goof off for a day that it is best for you follow your wisdom and do just that.

Taking a personal space” day  for yourself either planned or spontaneous is one of the most powerful stress reducing tips I could ever give you. For when the Universe sees that you value yourself enough to take care of yourself, then it too will align Life around you to also value and support you.

I think it was Oprah who said that we teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Well it’s the same for Life and the Law of Attraction as well. We must first “do unto ourselves – what we would have Life do unto us” …I know I really altered that Golden Rule quote but seriously it really is how Life works. The world as we see and live it starts with us, not from outside of ourselves but from within us.

So take a moment. Sit in your Personal Private Spot and go within and hear what your heart and soul is calling for you to do next, now. Rest. Dance. Take a drive. Eat some lettuce…lol Seriously if we live from our internal barometer we can’t loose because that is where OUR answers are found and nowhere else.
‘till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Tips for Recognizing Your True Desires

It’s important to keep two things in mind when choosing what items you want for decorating your home; first understand where your authentic choices come from, and second be certain you able to recognize when you are not listening to your authentic voice. Heart Desire

No matter how you have been conditioned by society to think, feel, or behave, deep inside you dwells a voice unique to you; this is the authentic voice of your own true heart. I am not talking about the heart that pumps blood and keeps your body alive. I am referring to the one that keeps your spirit alive. Your true heart speaks to you through your deep feelings, your intuition and your instinct. It is from this place that we get that “zing” feeling of recognition that tells us we have found something that we love.

We can mask the voice of our true heart. We can cover it up and ignore its messages. We can place others opinions over our own. However, if we want to enhance our personal power in this world we must listen and follow our own authentic voice. This is where our real energy comes from, for in the core of our true heart lies our destiny, our unique purpose and the meaning for our life.

How can we recognize if we are listening to our authentic voice or to the voice of society? Listen to see if it is based upon what you want to do or what you think you have to do. If it is what you want to do then freedom is the root, if you are following a “should” then fear is the driving factor. Once you make the connection you can then change your decisions. Below are some examples of behaviors you might find that stem from the conditioned/fear based voice of society.

It is fear based when you ….

  • add an item to your home decor because it was a gift and you feel you have to display it
  • you choose a color scheme that you don’t like but you think you need it to be “in style” with the current trend
  • there is not a single chair in your living room that fits your body comfortably (think Goldilocks, too small, to tall, too short etc)
  • there is no place in your entire home where you can go to just think or quietly read a book because you think you must always be at service to those you live with
  • always answer the phone and don’t let it go to voice mail when you are busy or are taking a break
  • see an accessory, painting, chair or any other furnishing that really calls out to you but you dismiss or ignore it because others wouldn’t like it
  • notice that your home is decorated to show off for guests instead of being comfortable to you and your family
  • can’t even leave magazines around for fear of being yelled at (especially if the yeller doesn’t live with you anymore)
  • feel ANY kind of discomfort or feeling of unrest while you are in your own private home…

I highly recommend getting an inexpensive letter size notebook, and begin writing down your thoughts about why you are doing these or other fear motivated actions. Talking out your troubles can be therapeutic too, but writing engages the brain more powerfully and when you write out your fear it is easier to deal with. Sometimes talking it out with a friend only serves to underscore and feed the fear. But go with what works best for you. Just check to see if you feel relief after a session of heart to heart talk and if you feel worse, try writing. You will be surprised how easy it is to get clear just by acknowledging the actions you are not happy with.

Remember to always go for what you really want in your home décor and claim it for yourself. Good luck and let me know how you are doing on your own project.

Thank you for reading my blog!

’till next time.
Ginger – Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

 

 

Take An Adult Time-Out

Have you ever wondered why we have a yellow light on our traffic light system of green-yellow-red? It is because we humans are not computers or light switches that can stop or shift gears on a dime. We need that “in between time” to adjust and connect. Interestingly the “in-between time” is also considered by the ancients as the magical space. For instance the space of a doorway between one room and the next, or the moment between sun-up and sun-set or the entrance step into the forest from the meadow. Transition is magic and if we can stop and pause in the transition phase we can access the magic of life and the magic we each hold inside of ourselves. Yet we humans don’t seem to have time for such nonsense as doing “nothing” or pausing.

Yellow LightI find this curious because is would seem by our actions that we treat our tools better than we do our bodies. For instance would you expect your car to run without gas or oil? What about running your car for hours at high speed and it overheats would you just shame it and scold it and call it a wimp and tell it to “man up” and keep going? Nope. You would stop and cool your engine and take care of  your cars’ needs …in fact you wouldn’t let it get that bad unless it was an emergency to do so. But does your life run on emergencies? I don’t’ think so but we act as if it does by pushing the envelope day after day and never giving ourselves time to rest, regroup and stop in the “between” work and sleep moment. Now I am not knocking sleep but sleep is a separate function and in fact if you don’t spend time in the rest phase, sleep can end up being not as reviving as you need.

Even your computer will need time to boot up (a between moment) and time to shut down ( a between moment) and in these moments what is it doing? It’s accessing and organizing all the knowledge and wisdom it has stored inside. Shouldn’t we do the same for ourselves?

Tips for an Adult Time-Out

  • Give yourself regular “time outs” and pause frequently during your day to reassess how your day is going. Set your watch or phone alarm to remind you to take a break and walk away from your work for 5-15 minutes. Go outside if you can; fresh air always enhances our energy.
  • Consider other options for the plans ahead and adjust if needed. If you feel overwhelmed ask yourself for each item on your to-do list… “Does this need to be done today?”If not, make a list and choose a day for doing it and put it away until that day.
  • Stop the runway train energy in its tracks by staying aware of when it surfaces. I have been known to walk to the furthers bathroom in my office building just to give myself an extra moment to decompress. Others I know will take a break in the stairwell since no one uses them.
  • If at the end of your day you realize you stayed in stress mode and ran like a runaway train stop and notice how your evening evolves… how are you feeling …do you have energy for fun after work or on the weekends or are you too tired to relax and have fun? These answers will motivate you to take charge and stop being an adrenaline junkie at work.

I remember one year we went on a two week family vacation…or we tried to. My husband at the time was working 60 hour weeks and he just couldn’t relax and enjoy his time off and we ended up cutting the trip short. Did he have to work like that? Well he told himself he did so he did. But in Truth did he? No, but what we tell ourselves ends up being true for us and since he never stopped to rest in between work and sleep he couldn’t access his wisdom. Addictions result when we avoid our personal magic. This happens because sometimes we don’t want to uncover the pain that is blocking our magic. But the funny things is all we have to do is confront the pain once and its gone – poof forever! Yet our magic and wisdom just grows and enhances the more we honor it by giving it time and space.

Every day on the road as you travel you see yellow lights…let them be a reminded to yourself to take a Time Out and reboot and refresh during your day…you will find you have more energy for life and joy if you do.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

To Take Up Residence

I find our use of words and phrases to be very illuminating at times. We say phrases sometimes without knowing what they mean or how telling their message might be…”cat got your tongue?”…”break the ice”…”kick the bucket”…”chip on your shoulder”…and “a dime a dozen” are just a few I can think of.

“To take up residence” is another often used phrase. What does that mean exactly? Well, I don’t know who coined that phrase but I have  heard it used in my life to  describe a variety of events from a bird nest taking up residence in the gutter of a home to talking about a family member who came to visit and didn’t leave. But today I want to talk about this phrase in reference to our Personal Power Spot which I recommend everyone create in their homes. To “take up residence” is to take-up-space and it is a powerful choice each of us has the right to exercise and most especially in the space of our own home.

Taking up SpaceWhen you create a Personal Private Spot or Private Space for yourself in your home you are declaring by your actions that you deserve a space to call your own. When someone you live with does the same you are affirming for each other that you are valued and consider each other worthy of their own unique space in the shared Home Space. But to declare a spot and decorate it and fill it with your things is only the first step. The next step is to “take up residence” by making the time to give yourself this space to just “be” without any pressure from the world or family.

Taking up residence is a practice that must be kept or the space will be declared as “vacated” and open for someone else to use. Think of an abandoned home you have seen – remember how sad, lonely, isolated and powerless that space felt? Now think of a home you have seen where there were bikes out front or people mowing the lawn or gardening; how did that home feel to you? Life is power and to be empowered you must give life to your dreams and your values by spending time doing the things that matter most to you. Even if you have to work a 40 plus hour a week job and cook for the family you can find 15 minutes a day or every other day to create a space of your own and then to start being there doing “your thing” whatever that is.

I admit a lot of my Private Power Spot time is spent just gazing out the window at the trees blowing in the wind. It sounds like I am doing a big nothing right? I thought so at first as well and I even scolded myself for “wasting time” but it turn out I was doing my most meaningful and helpful activity all day long! It is during this down time that bright ideas pop up or answers to questions arise. It is during this daydreaming time that I recover from stress and feel at peace with life.

I believe this practice works so well simply because I take up residence there just about every day. I exist there as me fully without explanation or duty. We are called human beings after all, not human doings. So give it a try and take up residence in a private spot of your home and then do it again and see if you don’t find a deeper peace and create a more empowered life for yourself.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Body Armor

Do you wear body armor? I am not talking about the metal kind the knights of old used to wear – no this is the modern kind that we use either deliberately or unconsciously to keep people away.

Body armor can take the form of body posture where we don’t make eye contact and turn our body away from others. We might do this in an elevator if we don’t want to engage in conversation for instance. Our posture can change due to what thoughts we have going on in our head or we can do a posture deliberately like when we pose for a photo. Cooking Armor

The most interesting body armor I find is the one many of us don’t even realize we are wearing and that is our scent. If you don’t wear deodorant or brush your teeth, your bad odor will cause people to back away. Now since most of us don’t like that kind of odor ourselves we usually don’t employ it deliberately because we would make ourselves sick by our own smell -ha!

Then there are the deliberate aromas such as smoking cigarettes, or cigars. Do you wear strong cologne or use hand or body cream that has a strong fragrance? When you are out of sight coming from around the corner do people know you are there because of your scent? Actors, models and many other famous people have had special scents created specifically for them and their signature scent acts as body armor.

If you smoke or wear a very strong scent this is in effect acting as body armor and subconsciously calling people to back off from you, to give you space. Smokers literally create a “smoke screen” around themselves. I find this fascinating because you would think smokers were social since they group together outside of offices to “visit and smoke” but in fact they are only doing a superficial kind of visiting. My mother was a smoker and in hindsight I can see that she used her smoking scent to give herself distance from the ten children she was raising. The activity of smoking can be a form of taking a break from the world as well. I work in a variety of offices around the city and I have noticed that smokers make sure they get their 2 fifteen minute breaks a day…and sometimes even more! While I applaud them on making sure they get a break I wonder if it is more of a hiding from their troubles activity vs. one that is self-empowering. Only they can know for sure how smoking serves them.

Our choice of clothing can also provide body armor for us. Of course we wear clothes to keep warm and be socially acceptable but I am talking about the deliberate use of costumes or uniforms to create a message that will be sent without us ever needing to say a word. Think about a nun’s habit or a police uniform. How about a doctors scrubs or a prep school uniform. This type of clothing says “I am part of a group” so don’t bother taking to me unless you have business with my group. In this photo I am wearing my cooking apron and my family knows that when I put this on they had better stop talking to me or dinner might be ruined or late-lol The apron serves to protect my clothes sure but it also signifies that I am not in visiting mode for a little while.

Take this week and notice what you normally take for granted by checking what you are wearing and ask yourself if there is a purpose to your style of clothes, one that gives  you more power for your day ahead. Notice how you smell, do you wear a fragrance like perfume or does your laundry soap have a powerful aroma? Simply by noticing and realizing what message you are sending adds a punch to your purpose and energizes your choice of body armor. If your armor isn’t a healthy one then see if you can find a new tactic that won’t hurt you in the long run.

It’s important to notice because a message is being sent to others as you go through your day and you want to be sure it’s the message you are meaning to send…one that empowers you!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

 

 

 

Self-Conscious Challenges

I wrote about feeling self conscious recently because I was experienceing a work environment that was a bit distracting. But the sensation of feeling “self-conscious” actually comes from within us not from our environment. It originates from our thoughts and beliefs about the environment. Often our thoughts and beliefs are subconscious and are driven by the internal voice we all have that just won’t shut up.” This is not 9-6-11 Mom's Sedona Birthday (36)the Inner Voice of our Heart/Soul Space but the collection of all the “should-can’ts- don’ts” that we have heard throughout our lives. If you stop to listen and note the things being played on a contiguous loop in your mind you might even be able to name who told you that; such as a school teacher, a sibling or a parent. You can then go deeper and acknowledge that they may believe that statement but you don’t. Then you can consciously choose to “let it go” – I love using bubbles or balloons to symbolize the letting go of an old sub-conscious belief. It makes the process fun and adds humor which is always good medicine. 🙂

Every now and then I get judgmental about how others “see” me or what they are thinking about me and my actions. Now how in the world can I even know what others see or think? I can’t! I am not behind their eyes or in their mind. Unless they say something or I get a non-verbal reaction I simply have no clue as to what they are thinking and yet I “go there” and have this crazy conversation in my head and before long I don’t feel very good.

I did it the other day. I am trying to stop and laugh at myself when I do this and it usually works but Tuesday was difficult. This is my crazy story…see if you can relate.

I had discovered on Monday that the spot I have to park my car while at my temporary job leaves it in the west sun by 5:00 when I leave. Now this is Phoenix, Arizona and we are at 110 degrees by then, so my seat, arm rest and steering wheel were too hot to touch! My 1999 RAV 4 does not have tinted windows.

So the next day I grabbed a bath towel in the color of my car and hung it in my window which now blocks the west sun from cooking my seat and steering wheel. Good fix, right? But I can see my car from the receptionist desk and this is a nice place – a design center – and suddenly I feel like people are judging me and my car. It looks okay and most Arizonans are fine with this behavior but I have been judging myself all day over it.

So what did I do? Did I stop the Monkey Mind judgment voice or listen to it, take the towel down, and have a blazing hot car when I go home?

I’ll tell you. I choose to ignore this insane voice (which originates from an older sister) and to laugh at it. I also have a crazy refrain that keeps popping up now that I am almost 60 years old (one year to go) and that is “I’m too freaking old to care about this anymore” lol What this means is that I know better now. I know from years of experience doing the self-judgement voice that most people don’t know, see or care about me and how I look or what I am doing. Most people are so self-absorbed (like I am being with my self-criticism) to even be aware of me and my little idiosyncrasies.

Tips For Healing Our Self-Judgmental Voice

  • Stop and listen to it – write down what was said
  • Ask yourself if you believe this anymore
  • Ask yourself who gave you this belief – then write under it “I forgive you” which means you know they were doing the best they could and you are now letting go of their words – “forgive” means to give-up.
  • Next, find a way to symbolize letting go of the belief. You can carry bubbles with you and visualize them leaving as you blow a bubble.
  • If you wrote it on paper, you could rip it into shreds and toss it where it will be out of your house. You can flush it if it is tiny, or safely burn the paper and visualize the thought/belief disintegrating into thin air.

It’s not easy catching our thoughts, so when we do it really helps if we take a moment to examine them. Feeling good is an internal job, one we can all make a priority. How do you handle the self-judgmental voice? Share your story and how you solved it – we all learn together this way.

’till next time
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Cry If You Want To

In her bestselling book “You Can Heal Your Life” Louise L. Hay writes about how our body “talks” to us through the physical symptoms each of us have such as; burns, cuts, colds, accidents etc. She writes about the companion emotion or thought process we are quite likely going through and are not conscious of – which is why our body will get our attention with pain of some kind.
When a physical symptom manifests this is a Body Space message to pay attention and look within, because something “else” or “other” is going on besides the symptom that has gotten our attention in the moment. For instance when you are starting a new job, moving your home or doing a major clutter clearing you might find yourself “coming down with a cold.” According to Louise L. Hay (which I can vouch for with my own experience) a cold is a sign of “too much going on at once.” This is how our body copes with all the new added stress by flushing the emotions that are coming up too fast for us to handle individually.

Take a BreakWhen our body speaks up with pain or physical symptoms it is telling us we need to pay attention. It might be we need more rest scheduled into our moving plans; better food or perhaps we need to stop and have a good cry. What? Yep. I am a firm believer in letting the tears flow. They might be tears of frustration, fatigue or genuine sadness and grief. We can even cry when extreme joy or relief fills us. Even getting what you what can bring on the grief response because no matter what we get next it involves letting go of what we had – even sometimes things we liked. Moving is tough work not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well.

When you move items you haven’t seen in a while it brings up old energy and emotions. If you have to let go of something you love such as furniture items or co-workers, neighbors or a city because your job requires the move, then you might be sad. Feeling and processing our emotions when they appear is the best way to get through and over them efficiently. Stop and give yourself a moment to grieve even if it is not a convenient time (really when is it convenient to cry?) If we stuff it and hold on and keep on “keeping on” then one day later we might find we have that cold and we are “stuffed up” because we stuffed down our emotions.

Did you know that there are stress hormones in our tears that we do not release any other way? Yes, it true and these stress hormones need to vent now and then for our best health to prevail. Tears produced during emotional crying have a chemical composition which differs from other types of tears and are truly healing to our well being. I laughed at the title of this blog when writing it because I kept hearing that old classic song from Lesley Gore “It’s My Party.” This is about a party she has where a boy she likes comes with another girl so she sings “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to” and she is right.

No matter where you go or what you do you will either be taking your body along or dragging your body along with you. I have done both, and I recommend taking your body with you as a partner – treat it as a team member and listen to it whenever he/she speaks. Take the action your body requires in the moment…sleep, rest, food, water, a good cry, etc…whatever it is and your body will respond with full support for you during whatever task you need of it in the moment.I have discovered a good 10 minute cry especially when I pair it with some EFT tapping and I am good to go. Plus the issue at the time never comes back to haunt me.

So give yourself permission to be real and authentic and if you need a private moment to do this then take it for yourself – you will be glad you did and so will your body.
’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Ebb and Flow

I have been writing for a few weeks now about my family members who are moving to new Home Spaces and I mentioned that I too have a new Home Space in that I now have an “empty nest” house all to myself. This is a new step for me and with all new steps we tend to learn as we go.

It’s been just over a month and I am stunned to realize I have not fully moved into my new space. I even have my coffee mug collection sitting out on the counter because I just can’t decide how I want to store them now that I have all this room! Now you need to know that I am one of those detailed, organized and yes “anal” Virgos so this really shocks me to notice how much mess and clutter I am still living with. I also notice that even though I moved my art supplies to my new Art Studio I haven’t painted a single stroke in over a month!

Ebb and FlowTaking time to observing ourselves is one of the best tips I can share with you and one I have finally mastered. I have finally stopped most of the “monkey mind” put downs and when they do appear I tend to notice them, then laugh at my latest foibles. So I had to stop and ask myself what the heck is going on with me and all this mess, and of course I got the answer. This time it came as a visual. Sometimes I will hear a song and other times I will get actual words like “it’s not time yet” – I get that one a lot and I rarely like it. lol

So what did I “see” as my answer? I “saw” in my minds-eye the ocean flowing in and out, in and out, and the tide coming in and out…then I heard the words “ebb and flow.”  I realized that is just what I have been doing since my Home Space became fully mine. You see it’s not just the movement of books or furniture and setting up shop in a given room such as my art studio; it’s the adjustment of energy. I am going though the shift of being a “corner of my bedroom artist” to having a whole room to myself. I am shifting from having the activity of others in my Home Space to having total solitude. Basically, I am ebbing and flowing through the changes, and like I mentioned in my last post I too need to say “enough for now” and let myself take breaks from it all.

Here are the steps I find myself going though when making a major Home Space energy shift and perhaps you do as well…

  • A new idea for change comes to me
  • I begin moving, cleaning, packing and setting up the new idea
  • Then I get overwhelmed and just can’t see what I want anymore
  • I take a break do something else for a few days
  • Then another idea comes and I have to go shopping
  • Next it’s deciding what to keep and what to give away
  • Again I get overwhelmed after I shift the energy and give stuff away
  • Take another break
  • When I return I find I am able to set up the space
  • Next I find I have to “sit with it” awhile to determine if the energy I created is a good fit
  • Make adjustments
  • Take a break
  • Visit the space again and then tweak it as necessary
  • Then one day without realizing it, I find I have finished and am now living in my new space happy as a clam!

The “take a break” moments in this analogy are similar to the ocean tides going in and out and the activity of each day’s tasks managed is the ebb and flow of the waves. Having this vision really gave me peace of mind. I realized once again that the Universe is in order, and I am on time and there is no pushing or pressure needed…just relax and follow through as guided….”ebb and flow…..”

‘till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

 

 

 

Enough For Now!

Have you ever been deep in a work project where suddenly you found yourself saying the phrase “enough for now?” Or do you generally find that enough is never “enough” and you are always dissatisfied and push yourself till you drop?

Currently two members of my family are in the process of moving and setting up new homes for themselves, one a new apartment and the other purchased a new home. Both have come to the point where they hit that wall that made them want to toss out what they own versus pack it up and move it. Having moved myself over thirteen times I must say I have felt the same way about the whole moving process. As I watch my kids go through the moving frustration process I am reminded of my own ordeals, and I wonder what if anything I have learned along the way that I could share and be of help to them. iphone pics 6 151

First I have to be honest and say I haven’t fully mastered this moving process fully myself but I do have one tip that when I remember to apply it amazing things have happened. I got this from a dear friend many years ago and it is simply to stop and allow myself – even in the midst of a great big mess – to say “enough for now” and mean it. You mean it by literally stopping. Not by ending the task you are currently deeply involved in, but by packing it up in a quick neat pile, perhaps making a list to show where you left off and JUST WALK AWAY!

Walking away from an unfinished task and leaving a mess behind (even a neat mess because who are we kidding I am a Virgo and I just can’t do it-lol) is a HUGE step in becoming the “master of your moving domain” versus the slave to the job. This brings to mind a funny Seinfeld episode …the one where they bet who can hold out the longest and be the “master of their domain” but this was of course the physical body domain they meant and not a Home Space move. Still it brings humor into the mix and makes my point… do we want to be enslaved by the work we have to do, or be the boss of ourselves and do our task with joy and fun?

Once you find the courage to say “enough for now,” the next step is R & R. Do something enjoyable such as going out for a relaxing meal, take an outdoor break, take a nap, go for a long walk, leave the building and visit someone at Starbucks… basically do whatever will give you a refresh and reboot in that moment.

How do you know when “enough for now” is a necessary next step versus procrastination? Here is how I know, and maybe this will give you a clue into your own unique inner guidance messages. I know it’s time when one or all of these start happening:

  • I start dropping things, cut or burn myself
  • I start misplacing things like the packing tape or cleaning rag
  • I keep forgetting what I was going to do next
  • I have a sudden melt-down crying jag for “no reason”
  • I reach for caffeine or sugar even though I have the shakes from too much already
  • I start shaming myself with my self-talk: “you’ll never get done in time” “You are such a slowpoke” etc.

Remember one of the reasons we choose to move our Home Space is that we want something better for ourselves and we can’t get that “better something” by beating up on ourselves during the moving process either with words or actions.

So take a break when you need it,  then begin again later. Believe it or not, the world won’t come to an end if you are not exactly on your time schedule and it really will all work out in the end…beautifully!

‘till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Mental Pain Tips

Have you ever driven yourself crazy with your thoughts? You know – that incessant chatter of our “monkey minds” that won’t stop bossing us around and putting us down? I have spent many long and tiring hours dealing with my “monkey mind” and I am very happy to report that after over 50 years of it running the show I now have some tools that help me manage this incessant chatter and restore my energy when my non-stop critical self takes over.

My “monkey mind” (I love that term from the Buddhists) has a tendency to not only judge me harshly, call me names, and generally make me feel Time Outbad, but she also will push me around and throw food at me!! That is how I came to recognize this voice in my head – it was while I was having a food binge and I realized that it was the nonstop constant criticism running a loop in my mind that was causing me to stuff myself with a whole bag of potato chips!

Managing The Monkey Mind

Step One: I found that by just acknowledging this voice it will quieted down some. I also found that listening to it and asking it questions helped me to recognize “who” was really speaking. You see I had the “good opinion of others” running the show as well. Things my mother believed, my teachers said, my siblings told me, and once I started listening I could say in my mind – “I hear you mom and I don’t believe that, I believe this.” And guess what mom’s voice in my head went away. Yea!

Now don’t get me wrong I didn’t go all Gollum (Lord of the Rings movies) on myself and talk out loud like he did in the movie (Gollum to Smeagol) no I did this at first with my journal and then later I could recognize the voices and challenge them without sitting down to write.

Step Two: I have received a ton of help doing Byron Katie’s program she calls “The Work” which I found in her book Loving What Is. I highly recommend trying  out her Inquiry program of asking just four questions to get to your own Souls truth. Doing this process has helped my immensely to quiet the “mean-girl” voices in my head. You can find the process for The Work for free at  thework.com 

Step Three: EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique – is the next thing I tried and I don’t think a day goes by where I haven’t tapped out an emotion and felt better for doing so. I’ve gotten good at doing this because it really works!! Sometimes I start out so upset I don’t think I’ll ever feel good again but before I am done I am laughing at myself. I learned all I know about tapping from Nick Ortner and the people he networks with. Check out Nicks Tapping Solution at http://www.thetappingsolution.com/eft-articles/nick-ortner/

Mental pain is no joke. To be honest all our suffering whether it is from physical pain or emotional pain actually lives in our head. It’s what we tell ourselves about what we are going through that creates either energy and joy or fatigue and unhappiness in our daily life.

Give these tips a try the next time you find you don’t feel well. Pull out a journal if you are so inclined or just take a quiet moment (like in your Private Spot) and ask yourself who is talking, who’s words are “driving you “ and then take control of the wheel of your life and choose to be happier. Even just a little bit happier will start you in the right direction.

‘till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©