Habits Get a Bad Rap

 I think habits get a bad rap. Quite often when someone is mentioning a habit they are talking about something “bad” they want to change. I try not to use the word “bad” anymore because it feels like I am inviting that energy in and making it stronger. When I remember to re-frame my thinking I will look at what I might label a “bad” habit as an excellent teacher. For instance I will objectively watch myself and simply notice what I seem to do all-the-time that I want to change. I will then do a kind of self-interview and ask…

  • Why do I do this habit?
  • How does it serve me?
  • What prompts me to do it? (like an association from someone or other activity)
  • Do I have a belief that is the driving force behind it?
  • Last I will ask, what would be the opposite of this habit and do I want to find out a way to have that in my life instead?
My most recent experience of changing or shifting habits was watching less TV in the hope I would get back to doing my watercolor painting which I actually love more. I am using a tip I got from Martha Beck called “Ridiculously Easy Steps” It works like this. Instead of berating myself for doing the “bad” habit item I simply notice it, allow and accept that this is the best I can do right now AND in the next moment I can do better. So I begin to add my new better step in small “Ridiculously Easy” measures.
Instead of attempting to watch less TV I simply add in the time I want to paint. I have discovered it works best at the end of my day. If I am tired I will pull out one of my art books and read it for 15 minutes or I will literally just sit in my art studio for 5-10 minutes. I created a whole list of baby steps and commit myself to doing one EVERY day. That’s the key to changing or building on a new habit. I think it’s best to let go of the changing a habit and just think of it as shifting or adding in something you want more.
Many of us cringe and get our dander up when we think there is something about us we need to change.  If you want to make a permanent change do your new activity for 21 days In A Row! That’s how long it takes to form a new habit. Once we do something for 21 straight days it becomes embedded in our psyche.
I have done this 5 minute “baby step” practice before and usually by the time the 21 days are up, I find I am spending more time doing my new habit and almost effortlessness the new habit is formed.
How do you fell about the word habit? Is it a positive energy word for you or a negative one? Do you have new habits or routines you would like to add to your life? Pick a time and the activity then make it really really easy to do and see if you can build on it over time. Martha Beck writes in her book that to build the exercise at the gym habit her first Ridiculously Easy step was to simply drive to the gym and park her car. She didn’t even get out for the first week. Gradually she did and now she is amazingly fit and trim.
It’s like pennies – we think they are not worth much but when you stop to consider that a million dollars starts with that first penny you begin to see that even the smallest effort can move mountains!
’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

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Use Your Powerful “Off” Switch

Personal Space is slowly becoming extinct. Everywhere we go we are constantly connected to everyone else on the planet. Everywhere we turn someone is telling us how to eat, what to eat, what not to eat, how to dress our body in the latest (and only approved of) styles, how to decorate our home, what the latest and greatest is for every moment of our life experience. Even if we turned off all the TV ads, radio marketing and newspaper ads, internet or magazine publications we would still be prompted by well-meaning others to do it their way. And always there is that unspoken “or else” that is implied. Or else you won’t be popular, or else you won’t get that job, or else you won’t look attractive. And the worst one of all; “or else you won’t be loved.” 2-1-14 (11)

Every one of these subtle and not too subtle voices coaxes us all day long to comply. Before you know it, you’ve lost the essence of what makes you tick, what makes you happy. You are lost as to what makes you, YOU. Reclaim and take back ownership of your Personal Space by tuning out the world on a daily basis. You’ll be glad you did and it will keep you sane. The only True voice is the one within your heart and soul; this is the voice of your Divine Inner Self – our Soul Space. It is crucial to our personal power and peace of mind that keep our Soul connection open and active or our life will fade into the world view of “one size fits all.”

It used to be that we could come home and leave the world behind for a while and refresh ourselves. But today with our wonderful internet and instant messaging the world comes with us everywhere. It is up to each of us to choose when, how and where we will take a break and give the world a “do-not-disturb” notice.

My favorite method of turning “off” world opinions is by declaring my unique self in my home decor style and in my wardrobe. I also set aside time each morning and evening (I call it my book-ends) to just sit and be still. Sometimes I meditate but most often I contemplate and watch nature while in my garden or through a window. I get so many good ideas and answers during theses quite “off” moments that I keep a note pad handy to jot down what comes to me, but I am careful not to work it then. I pick it up later when I am back “on” for the day.

Our personal power comes from within, the world can’t help us. No one can sleep for you, no one can eat for you and no one can hear your unique Soul’s voice but you alone. Turn off the world now and then and check in with yourself. This is where your power lies; flip your inner switch ON! You have all the power you need. Stay connected to YOU by managing the world with your own personal “off” switch.

’till next time,
Ginger- Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

The Personal Space Journal

The Personal Space Journal is the way I keep track of the progress I am making as I explore my ever expanding self-empowerment. I use two types currently; one letter size for deep thought sessions and a minim 5 x 7 one for my decorating notes. You might even want a different one for each of the four Personal Space sections; Soul Space, Body Space, Home Space and Life Space, it’s a completely personal choice. Journal Writing

Choose any style and size that appeals to you. I use the larger size for my thoughts, questions and any epiphanies I might have. There is something about hand-writing things down that exercises the brain and clears our mind. I am reminded of the Harry Potter books and the “pensive” that Professor Dumbledore used to unload his mind; that is exactly what writing in my journal does for me.

Often in my blog posts I will refer to “taking notes” or “carry a sample” when talking about a Home-Space energy reboot project. For this purpose you can get by with a small wire notebook where you can jot down short notes and information. I use a that fits in my purse. It even has pockets in it for paint colors and fabric samples. This mini-journal is a smaller version of the Project Book (a three-ring binder) I will teach you about in a later post and easy to carry with you all the time. You never know when an idea or even a color sample will turn up.

Journals in various sizes are a tool I have used for over 30 years and even though today I carry my iPhone with me, I can’t see it ever fully replacing my hand-written journals. The reason for this is that hand-writing stimulates the brain where we store our creativity. It’s very easy to go from writing a thought to drawing a picture, so I highly recommend you employ this tool at least some of the time.

A second reason the electronic notes won’t work is when doing a decorating project you must have actual color samples with you as you shop because a photograph on your phone won’t represent the color accurately for matching purposes.

So by all means use your phone for taking notes and pictures but you will want to transfer them for storage in one place eventually and the hand written Personal Space Journal is a good choice.

I have also discovered that hand writing brings to the surface a deeper view of what is going on inside of my heart. It’s just too easy to self-edit as I write on my computer but with hand writing noting gets filtered and my deepest feelings are revealed. We need this depth if we are going to access our True power and revitalize our Personal Space energy.

I’d love to see a picture of your Personal Space Journals (the one I use for decorating is pictured here) and let me know how it works for you as you proceed on your project.
’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Are You Self-Conscious?

How self-aware or self-conscious are you? To be conscious is to be empowered. To be self-conscious is to be self empoweredSedona 1. The Personal Space journey is all about making our Personal Space “conscious space.” We do this by exploring what it means to be our authentic selves and then put those things we learn about ourselves into daily practice.

That’s right, Personal Space is a practice; the practice of being you. One of the reasons it needs to become a practice is because the world wants to pull you out of yourself; pull you out of self-consciousness. You have heard that “misery loves company” and until everyone else learns to be personally empowered aka self-aware and conscious they will feel miserable and encourage others to join them. Ever known someone who played the drama game of “ain’t it awful?” Then you know what I mean. TV, radio, printed and internet ads want you to “join the crowd” and be like everyone else; only we were not meant to conform, we were designed to be unique.

When you practice self consciousness over time you will do what it takes to be you in the world automatically, instinctively even. Your inner bossy ego voice that says “I want to be like the crowd”  or “I want to belong” will know to keep quiet and save its breath because you are so anchored and confident in your true self he/she can’t sway you any longer to go along with the crowd. From now on you do belong… you belong to yourself!

Once you are firmly self-established you will have great success expanding your space. This means moving out from your standard routine at home and entering the world while remaining true to your core values. You will know how to navigate in new territory because your inner senses are fully tuned and can lead you on. In other words you will have a fully active internal compass which will always point you in your true north direction.

Expanding your space is not about influencing others. It might seem that this is just what you are doing but that is the ego’s illusion. Expanding your space is more like a vibration that is strong and in tune. It surrounds you and keeps you in harmony with yourself while you are in the company of other vibrations and tunes. Like a radio wave that is floating out there invisible to the eye and unheard by the ear unless a tuning device is used and a particular channel chosen. You see, anyone who is influenced by you is in charge of their radio station selection. If they are tuned into you it’s on them to be influenced by your tune …. or not.

Never take the credit for another’s success, it can never be yours. It’s all theirs. Your credit, the credit you deserve, comes from living your life from inside-out and doing so out loud for the world to see if it chooses to. You do this with respect for yourself and all others.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

Do You Need to “Re-boot?”

Do you need a “time-out” or a “re-boot” during your day? If you have energy glitches like these the answer is “yes!”

Four Personal Space Energy Lessons I learned from my computer and TV
One:
Pain ReliefComputer: While happily typing along, suddenly your computer sends up a warning that it has to shut down and you better hurry and save stuff or it’s gonna be lost.
Personal Version: This might look like a sudden shocking event in your life, like a death in the family or a layoff from your job. You quickly stop what you are doing in life and switch gears to deal with the crisis at hand.

Two:
Computer: While in the middle of a project the computer suddenly freezes up and won’t budge even if you hit “escape” or “refresh.” So you do a “hard” re-boot to get it working again.
Personal Version: This is like “brain fog” where you forget what you were about to do or say. Overwork, multi-tasking and fatigue trigger this symptom and only a “get away” break will revive you. Taking a break, drinking water, getting fresh air, and eating a snack are all “hard” re-boot examples for us to follow.

Three:
Computer: In response to your request for help with technical issues IT will say; “well, did you try re-booting it?” This is one of those “if all else fails turn it off and on again” event, or close your browser and re-launch it.
TV: While watching the TV something upsetting comes on so you change the channel.
Personal Version: This happens frequently in social settings. For example you are having lunch with friends and one of them is droning on and on about a subject; you can change the channel by changing the subject. It’s quick, painless and almost unnoticeable.

Four:
TV: The “pause button” on our TV is a great space creator by freezing time until you are ready to engage with what you are watching.
Personal Version: A nap is a good example of a “pause” or a break from your work. Both stop the flow your life is currently going in, which allows you time to reassess, refresh and empower your energy. When we re-emerge from this re-booting process more than likely our focus will be changed and our direction improved.

A word of warning; watch out for the common mistake to look at the need for a re-boot as though something was wrong with you. It’s not! This is simply a natural human need for a clarity boost and totally natural for everyone. Even the weather does these sudden shifts of unexpected direction and energy shifts which “clears the air.”
Life is meant to be enjoyed and lived as it comes. Surprises are the spice of live. So go ahead and re-boot, pause, change channels as necessary, you’ll be happier for it.

Write back and tell me about some of your recent personal space re-boots and what you gained from them.
‘till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

Personal Space and Your Car

I know some of you will think I am overstating where our personal space borders are when I tell you that it includes your car, but I saw a perfect example as I was doing my food shopping today.

I was driving from one store to the next and was stopped at a busy intersection waiting at a light when a movement caught my eye. Right in front of me was a big white Cadillac and stretched across their back seat was a hanging bar with at least 3 dozen white plastic hangers swaying from the movement of the car. They were all empty and there were two people in the front seat. This is not something you see every day but I have seen this before. I had a neighbor once who was a traveling sales woman for a fabric company and she did this as well. She said it beat ironing and unpacking every day and since she had to dress professionally it was the best way for her. 11-2012 Sedona Election Trip (26)

Do you see where I am going with this? Here was a business woman who for all intents and purposes had her office and closet in her car. I don’t’ know about the people I saw today, perhaps they just took everything to the dry cleaners and were on their way to pick it up and didn’t want it to wrinkle on drive home. Most likely they store hanging clothes in their back seat as part of their life style or work.

When I was a shop-at-home Design Consultant I too worked from my car. My entire back seat and trunk space was filled with plastic totes which held fabric samples hard bound with handles for easy carrying. I had more in my garage as well for our fabric sales shifted month to month and I couldn’t carry every fabric we sold in my car. So my office was partly in my car and partly in my garage. I found it really important to keep my car neat so I got the plastic bins and this kept the fabric books from moving when I drove.

The couple I saw today was doing something I never could, for the swaying hangers would drive me nuts! But, that is their business to decide. Claiming the various personal spaces of your life is what self empowerment is all about. They not only have the right to do this with their car space but it is necessary for them to fulfill their unique purpose.

Now, sometimes what we want and choose to do in our Personal Spaces affects others in what I refer to as Shared Space. Their moving hangers got my attention but it wasn’t a danger to my driving so no problem. But say they had something reflective swaying in the back, then it would adversely affect others in “shared space” and as you know I encourage you to always do what is most loving for yourself while looking at the big picture to be sure you don’t adversely affect others. Chances are if you are being true to yourself you are not harming another but it is important to be aware. If they had something reflective swaying in the back it would also hurt their driving and probably cause the police to make them remove it.

Perhaps you do something out of the ordinary with your car space, if so please leave a comment I’d love to hear how you use your car space.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach

Do You Dare Express Your Unique Style?

I love watching people, and the longer I do the more I come to realize that we truly are one of a kind. Some days it’s difficult to notice the unique qualities each person is capable of and on other days it hits you in the face and it almost too much of a shock to absorb. That is what happened to me last week at my local Sprouts. Here I was doing my weekly marketing when I turned the corner and almost ran over this man’s dog. He was so still I didn’t notice him, then the next thing I saw was his owner’s shoes, and as I looked up I got a marvelous shock. Here was a brave man in my midst! He not only brought his dog into the store but was wearing bright red and green seekers, a sombrero hat and a colorful shirt as well. Unique Dressed Man

I can only assume he had a special need for the dog as I don’t think they are allowed in the store under normal circumstances, but then nothing about this man was normal or usual. I admit I didn’t have the courage to speak to him and in hindsight I wish I could have but no, on this day I high-tailed it out of that section and gave myself a wide berth. Why? Well I asked myself this and to be honest my first thought was that this man was unstable but as I explored my reaction further I have to admit that it was more that his uniqueness was a bit more than I could handle. I feel badly about that and in the future I will check my judgment at the door because he is not the only “odd” dresser in the store. I too tend to dress strangely (to others eyes I am sure) because I happen to wear a visor hat almost all the time I am outside, and even while in the store. I don’t like the sun in my eyes and a full hat will flatten my hair. I wear it inside because if a store is warm I tend to perspire so I will put it on so as not to drip about as I do my shopping. Odd? Yep, that’s me. Perhaps we are all odd … after all there are no two of us alike. Sometimes it works and sometimes it just scares people.

This man made my day. I admire his courage. His color coordination was excellent and so cheerful. There are others that dress “oddly” to our way of thinking and they make it really work for them…remember Michael Jackson and his one gloved hand -or how about Pharrell Williams and his Smokey the Bear hat? Sure actors, musicians and artists are given permission by society to dress and even act oddly so why shouldn’t the rest of us have this same permission? I think we have to give it to ourselves and when we encounter brave dressed men like I did in my local store it paves the way for the rest of us to be exactly who we are “out loud!”

Go forth and be brave in your uniqueness and if I see you I will be sure to cheer you on!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

Stored Energy in Our Furnishings

Have you ever notice how emotional moving our furniture can be? Even if we are excited to make the decorating changes or move to a new location, we will have grief surface because one thing has to end before the new thing can begin. It’s the energy of transition we feel and when we move our furnishings our “roots” get disturbed. There is another reason grief arises when we are moving our furnishings, the energy that is stored in the items we own gets stirred up when we shift them around or pack and move.

11-2012 Sedona Election Trip (245)This is how it works. You have items that are in plain sight but you don’t notice them anymore because you are used to them. When you move them to a new spot suddenly you see them with “fresh eyes” and you might not like what you see. Memories of who gave it to you, or when you bought it surface and suddenly you are overwhelmed with emotions like joy, sadness or repulsion. Now these feelings are great in that they help you to know if you want to keep an item or not, but they can be overwhelming at moving time. If possible try to review all of your possessions before you move and eliminate the ones that you won’t want in your new space. This way that old energy doesn’t move with you.

Next you have items that are special keepsakes and you most likely have them boxed up. High school yearbooks, photos of vacations, mementos etc. As you open them to see what you have and where it will go in your new space, you suddenly are swamped with memories and emotions. If your life is going great then your reminiscing will be a little depleting but sweet. However if your life is not quite where you thought it would be “by now” you might compound your moving grief with self-judgment. Again going through everything before you move will help alleviate this and you can grieve and release in your old home so your move itself is less stressful. However if you can’t to that then I recommend you give yourself permission to leave some things boxed up and slowly go through them over the course of a few months.

I have a three part method for sorting through all my possessions;

  1. Set up an area for “give-a-ways” where you can collect items and then donate
  2. Set up another for “maybe keep items” – this is to give you time to process if you want to keep them or donate them
  3. Keepers- when you know for sure you want an item, put it where you want it to be as soon as possible. If I do this before I move I will label my floor plan with the furniture piece so I can tell the movers where it will go.

Take the “give-a-ways” to the thrift shop each time your car is full. Keep moving this stuff out. Don’t even think about having a garage sale unless this is a thing you love to do because you won’t get as much money as you think you will get, and this just adds to the to-do-list that you already have too much on.

What can be done to dissipate and heal all the memory energy in our possessions? I like to use smudge sticks. I will light a scent that has the energy I want to apply such as sage for purification and I will waif the smoke over the items and hold the intention of letting the old memories go. If I am keeping items I will then use another scent that puts a blessing on my items. Your local metaphysical store will have more information on how to do this. Also my favorite author on this topic is Denise Lynn. Check out her books and website for more energy healing information.

Energy is an invisible component to our lives and understanding how to work with and manage it can really help our overall health and vitality. Good luck with your next moving or clutter clearing project!

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

 

 

Using Your “No” Power!

I was just a little girl and not yet in school when we got our first black and white TV and I remember it being a really big deal. When color TV came out it was even more exciting, because now it wasn’t just a box on a rickety stand, it was in a finely crafted piece of wood furniture…console TV.

Media in RoomEven before the TV we had a radio in our living room and from the start our listening time was limited. This was due to what time the stations were playing programs.  So even though I am a child of the mass communications age I didn’t feel it ruled our lives. Fast forward to 2015 and it’s an entirely different story.

Not only do we have multiple TV’s in our homes, perhaps one in every room to watch pre-recorded shows, we also have instant connection to the entire world through the internet and social media. The first telephone we had when I was a kid was a “party line” which meant our calls were not private and we had to go through an operator to ring someone. Today my phone is “smart” and can connect with the world in real time. Now before you think I am ancient, this was just 50 years ago and the previous 50 years only saw the invention of the telephone and radio!!

Inventions are happening much faster than they used to – are we keeping up? Are we “smart” with our phones and other electronics or do they control our lives?  What we do to get along and entertain ourselves has completely changed and I want to address how this has affected our ability to find and create separate space for ourselves – and maintain our personal power.

In order to have personal power we must first have our “person” intact. This was difficult to do when I was a teen/adult and it is exponentially more difficult today thanks to mass media and a plethora of devices. The choices we are presented with each day are too numerous to count and it’s easy to get lost in the sea of information and technology. The best way to combat this influx of sales stimuli is to make space for yourself where you can hear yourself think and more importantly feel yourself react to life. It is through our feelings that we can really know when we are in harmony with our True authentic self. The thinking mind or ego will want to “belong” in the world and since it perceives everything as danger, it rarely wants to take a stand and be unique. But your heart has all the courage you could ever need to stand up and be your true self. And this courage is fed by having a private spot within our protected personal space. I say protected because that is what we have to do. We do this by choosing what we will and won’t let into our space and this enables us to reclaim our power from the world that is invading our home.

Here is an example of what I mean; I was born at the end of the Korean War and soon we were in the Vietnam War. Three brothers, 2 cousins, and one uncle all served in the Navy and I was busy as a little girl writing letters and sending care packages so I was quite familiar with wartime energy-or so I thought. When we bombed Kuwait in 1991 live on TV I was not at all prepared and was shocked and horrified. You’d think with all the wars I had experienced I would be numb but they were never “live” in my living room. Neither was the explosion of the Challenger Spaceship or the bombing of the Twin Towers on my TV as a child. We do need to know what is going on in the world however we must say “no” when the media wants us to watch them 24-7 and inundate us with their minutia and bad reporting just for the sake of adding money to their coffers. Nor do we need to get shocked and upset for this helps and empowers no one!! Now more than ever our “no” power must be exerted. And remember this; every time you say “no ”you are saying ”yes” to something else you decided you want more such as peace of mind and space to collect and restore your own energy.

Today I limit how much and when I watch the news. I prepare myself and remind myself that the Universe is indeed in order even if it doesn’t look like it and I send blessings of love and light to all who appear in the media that are troubled. In this manner I use my “no” power in a way that is a “win-win” for all.

How do you use your “no” power?

’till next time
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach©

 

 

 

Tips For Book-ending Your Day

In my last blog post I introduced you to my invention of “Book-ending Your Day” for maintaining your best energy all day long. I can tell you from personal experience that on the days I skip my daily two-steps I feel lost, scattered and fragmented, but luckily the next day I can re-boot my energy with my 15 minute practice and restore my energy field. Pain Relief

These tips might give you other ideas of what to try so just review them and allow them to activate your own inner wisdom – because this is where your best routine will come from. Over time you may adjust the process you set up and that is also perfect.

Book-ending Tips:

If you don’t already have a morning and evening stop-and-be-quiet practice this will be your first step; to find a way to stop and be quiet for 5-15 minutes twice a day. But in order to apply this step you must first know what it is you usually do in the morning and evening. So take a week and jot down each day how you start and stop your day. We are looking for the “out-of-bed” and “back-in-bed” routine if you have one, if not just list for one week how each day started and stopped.We learn about ourselves as we go along, if we will only take time and space to self-explore.

  1. Write down your current morning and evening routine, add time of day to this as well because we are looking to add or find 15 minutes at both ends.
  2. Once you have your list of usual activities, see if you want to adjust any of them. For instance change your shower from morning to evening if that fits your lifestyle better.
  3. Next, while looking at your list and the timing, see if you can add in a 5 minute stretch to both your morning and your evening to just sit down in your room quietly – I call this the “STOP” practice. Most of us don’t stop until our head hits the pillow which is why brilliant ideas or answers to questions come then. If we stop while upright we can catch our best thoughts better.
  4. Take your evening list of activities (your bookend) and write them on a card, noting the 5 items you feel must do in order. Then add in your 5 minutes of sitting where it fits. We work with the evening first because most of us have extra time at night to try out something new without being stressed about it. Once you have your evening bookend settled and are practicing it, take a look at how your morning has changed if at all. Many find that by going to bed in a positive, organized manner they wake up with this energy already in place and it feeds into the new day.
  5. Once you feel comfortable with your evening book-end routine and are practicing it, apply the same steps (list activities-review/tweak activities-apply stop time) and create your morning practice. Tweak it as you go and once you have a morning and evening routing created that works for you fairly easily take a look at your calendar and see if you can practice it for the next 21 days in a row…even on the weekends. If you can’t do a full 15 minutes of stop-and-be-quiet time then just do 5 minutes. The daily practice for 21 days will set up the habit.

By now, even if you are not doing this daily, you will have discovered the benefits of Book-ending Your Day for yourself. You may have created an entirely different routine than my example but the key here is to place your attention on what gives you energy and finding your own unique ways to enhance it and keep it charged.

I’d love to hear about your practice.

’till next time,
Ginger-Marie
Your Personal Space Coach